One Cruel Summer - Mattman15 (2024)

Chapter 1: Tourist Trapped

Chapter Text

Ah, Summer Break. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking it easy…

Unless you happen to be a certain pair.

Two kids, a brother and a sister, were currently riding a golf cart to avoid the monster behind them.

"It's getting closer!" the girl screamed.

"No shit, Mabel!" the boy yelled.

"Dipper, language!" the girl scolded before gaining the urge to puke.

The boy's name was Dipper. He had short brown hair. He was wearing a red T-shirt, a blue jacket, and gray shorts. He wore a brown hat with a star on it.

The girl is his twin sister, Mabel. She had very long hair that went down to her back. She was wearing a pink sweater with a shooting star, and blue shorts.

You may be wondering what they're doing in a golf cart fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror. Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus.

In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room.Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor.Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed.After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 1

Tourist Trapped

Flashback

It all began when their parents decided the twins could use some fresh air. Dipper and Mabel were shipped up north to a sleepy town in Oregon called Gravity Falls to stay at their great-uncle's place in the woods.

Mabel was always one to look on the bright side, but Dipper was having a hard time getting used to their new surroundings.

And then there was their great-uncle Stanford. He had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called The Mystery Shack. The real mystery was why anyone came.

And guess who had to work there.

It looked like it was gonna be the same boring routine all summer, until one fateful day.

Mabel watched from behind the shelf as an unsuspecting guy found her note. He read it aloud.

Do you like me?

Yes

Definitely

ABSOLUTELY

"I rigged it," she said to herself.

"Mabel, I get you're going through your 'Boy Crazy' phase, but do you seriously have to flirt with every guy you meet?" asked Dipper.

"Mock all you want, brother," Mabel replied. "But I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now."

Right as she said that, Stan walked through that door letting out a massive burp.

"Oh, why?" Mabel asked herself.

Dipper couldn't help but chuckle at Mabel's misfortune.

"Alright, look alive, people," Stan announced. "I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it," Dipper and Mabel said in unison.

A twenty-year-old fat man wearing a green hat and shirt was drilling a shelf onto the wall when he heard the conversation.

"Also not it," he said.

"No one asked you, Soos," Stan berated.

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that," the man, Soos, replied before eating a chocolate bar.

Stan then turned to the red-headed teenaged girl at the cash register.

"Wendy, I need you to put up these signs!" he called.

"I would, but I can't reach it," the girl, Wendy, said as she pretended to reach the signs.

"I'd fire you all if I could. Alright, let's make it eeny-meeny-miney… you." Stan pointed at Dipper.

"Why me?" asked Dipper. "I swear whenever I'm in those woods, somebody's watching me. Last night, my mosquito bite spelled 'BEWARE'."

Dipper showed his mosquito bite.

"That spells 'BEWARB'," Stan corrected. Dipper looked at the bite and realized Stan was right. "Look kid, the whole 'monsters in the forest' thing is just local legend drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." Stan gestured to a customer who seemed to be obsessing over a Stan bobblehead. He then tossed Dipper the sign. "So quit being paranoid!"

Dipper sighed. He knew there was no reasoning with this guy.

Dipper walked out of the house. He started hammering nails into trees to hang the signs.

After a while, Dipper heard a metal clunk coming from the tree. This made him curious.

He rubbed his hand on the tree. It didn't feel like wood. It felt like metal.

He wound up opening a secret hatch. He noticed a couple of switches on a panel. He opened it out of curiosity.

When he turned around, a secret door opened on the floor. Inside contained a strange book covered in dust and cobwebs.

Dipper picked up the book and blew the dust off. The book had a red cover, with a gold, six-fingered hand in the middle. The number three was marked on the hand.

Dipper opened the book. It said, "Property of…" But the name was torn out.

He turned to the first page and read aloud…

'It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon.'

As Dipper turned the pages, more and more strange things appeared.

Floating eyes.

Gnomes.

"What is all this?" Dipper asked himself.

He then read the next page.

'Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it.

Remember, in Gravity Falls, there is no one you can trust.

TRUST NO ONE!'

"HELLO!" a voice shouted.

Dipper quickly turned around, terrified. Fortunately, it was just Mabel. Not a real threat.

"Hi," he greeted back.

"Whatcha got there?"

"Nothing."

"'Nothing'," Mabel imitated Dipper's voice, before going back to her normal one. "Are you really not gonna show me?"

"Let's go somewhere private."

In the Mystery Shack, Dipper showed Mabel the journal.

"Grunkle Stan says I'm paranoid," he explained. "But according to this book, Gravity Falls has a secret dark side, and get this. After a certain point, the pages just stop. It's like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared." Dipper's thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. "Who could that be?"

"Well, time to spill the beans," Mabel replied.

She knocked over an empty can of beans.

The twins walked to the front door.

A customer was looking through the gift shop, looking for something to buy. That's when he saw Mabel. He smiled a nervous smile as he walked over to her.

"This girl's got a date!" Mabel shouted aloud.

The boy walked away sadly.

"Hold on," said Dipper. "In the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?"

"What can I say?" asked Mabel. "I guess I'm just irresistible." Mabel opened the door. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!"

An older boy was at the front door. He was wearing a black jacket and pants. He had long hair covering an eye. He had a blood stain on his right cheek.

"'Sup?" the boy greeted.

"Hi," Dipper replied nervously.

"We met at the cemetery," Mabel explained. "He's really deep."

"So, what's your name?" asked Dipper.

"Normal… Man," the man introduced himself.

"He means 'Norman'," Mabel corrected as she hugged her new boyfriend's muscle.

That wasn't enough to convince Dipper this guy was a normal man. It didn't help that the guy had blood on his cheek.

"Is that blood?" he asked.

"It's jam!" Norman corrected defensively.

"I love jam!" Mabel yelled. "Look at this!"

"So, you wanna go hold hands or… whatever?" Norman asked.

"Oh my goodness. Don't wait up."

Mabel ran off. Norman went after her, but not before running into the wall. His walk was also really weird.

This didn't sit well for Dipper. He decided to consult the journal.

Dipper sat in his room and read a page in the journal. A page that talked about zombies.

'Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for teenagers.'

Dipper gasped after he read that.

He looked out the window to see Norman approach Mabel. He had his arms out like a zombie coming for brains. He also walked very slowly.

Norman grabbed Mabel as if about to eat her brains. Dipper closed his eyes. He couldn't watch.

Then he heard Mabel laughing. When he opened his eyes, he saw Mabel smiling and wearing a flower necklace.

"Is my sister really dating a zombie?" he asked himself aloud. "Or am I just going crazy?"

"It's a dilemma to be sure," said a voice from behind. Dipper turned around to see Soos screwing a light bulb. "I couldn't help but overhear you talking aloud to yourself in this empty room."

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend," said Dipper. "He's gotta be a zombie, right?"

"How many brains did you see the guy eat?"

"Zero."

"Dude, I believe you. I'm always seeing weird stuff in this town, like the mailman. Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf, but you have to have evidence, otherwise, they'll think you're crazy."

"As always, Soos, you're right."

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse."

"Soos!" called Stan's voice. "The portable toilets are clogged again!"

Soos moved his hat sideways. "I am needed elsewhere."

Soos walked backwards out of the room. He ended up tripping down the stairs.

"Soos, are you okay?" Dipper shouted.

"I'm fine, dude!" came Soos' voice.

Dipper sighed in relief. He then got back on track. Mabel could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence.

Dipper recorded as Mabel tried to play frisbee with Norman. The disc hit Norman's head. He fell to the ground.

Later, Dipper watched as Norman punched the glass of a door, breaking it. He then opened the door from the other side. The two entered the diner and walked by. Dipper hid his face in a menu to avoid looking suspicious. He noticed Norman struggling to keep his balance.

Not long after, Dipper recorded as Mabel and Norman were running down the graveyard together. Norman tripped and fell into a grave. He climbed out of it exactly like a zombie would.

Dipper had seen enough.

Dipper entered his and Mabel's room when she came back from her date.

"Mabel, we've gotta talk about Norman," he said.

"Isn't he the best?" Mabel asked. "Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!"

Mabel showed her smooch mark. It was gigantic alright. It looked more like a bite mark than anything.

"Gullible," Mabel laughed. "It was just an accident with the leaf blower. That was fun."

Dipper wondered what Mabel would even be doing with a leaf blower. Then again, knowing Mabel, it probably wasn't good.

"Mabel, listen," he said, getting back on track. "I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems."

Mabel gasped. "You think he might be a vampire? That would be awesome."

"Guess again, sister."

Dipper turned to the page he was looking for… or so he thought. He accidentally turned to the page about gnomes. He quickly turned to the correct page. The one about zombies.

"A zombie?" asked Mabel. "That's not funny, Dipper."

"I'm not joking," Dipper argued. "It all adds up. The blood, the limping, he never blinks. Have you noticed that?"

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking."

"That's next to impossible." Dipper and Mabel blinked at the same time, right as he said that. "Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? 'Trust no one'."

"What about me? Can't you trust me?"

"Mabel, he's gonna eat your brain!"

"Dipper, listen to me! Norman and I are going on a date at five, and I'm gonna be adorable, and he's gonna be dreamy!" Mabel pushed Dipper out the door. "And I'm not gonna let you ruin it with your crazy conspiracies!" Mabel slammed the door in Dipper's face after she finished her sentence.

At five, Norman showed up for the date. Dipper watched as Mabel left the shack to go on her date. He then rewatched his recordings.

"Maybe Stan's right," he told himself. "Maybe I am being…"

That's when Dipper noticed something he didn't before.

In the video, Norman's hand popped off. He quickly picked it up and re-attached it before Mabel could notice.

Dipper screamed and fell off the chair.

"Shit! I was right!" he shouted.

He quickly ran into the gift shop. He saw Wendy sitting at the cash register, leaning her stool back.

"Wendy!" he called.

Wendy jolted up as if she just woke up from a nightmare.

"Hey, what? What's…" she asked before noticing it was just Dipper. She sighed. "Oh, hey Dipper."

"I'm so sorry," Dipper apologized. "I didn't realize you were on your break."

"Dude, would I waste time sleeping if I were on my break? Now what do you need?"

"I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!" Dipper shouted. "I know I sound crazy but it's the truth!"

Wendy sighed. "Believe it or not, I've heard worse." She tossed Dipper the keys to the cart. "Now leave me alone, I'm working here."

Wendy was about to fall back asleep when…

"WENDY, DID YOU FALL ASLEEP ON THE JOB AGAIN?!" came Stan's voice.

"NO I DIDN'T!" Wendy yelled. She then turned to Dipper.

Dipper pretended to zip his lips and throw away the key.

Dipper quickly got on the cart, started the engine, and backed out. He was stopped by Soos.

"Hey, it's Soos," he said as he handed Dipper a shovel. "This is for the zombies."

"Thanks, Soos," Dipper thanked as he took the shovel.

With that, Dipper drove away from the shack.

After driving for a while, Dipper heard Mabel screaming.

"Don't worry, sis!" he shouted. "I'll save you!"

Dipper followed the sounds of Mabel's screams to a strange cave. He saw Mabel fighting a bunch of gnomes.

"What the hell is going on here?" he asked.

"Dipper!" Mabel called. "Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes, and they're total jerks!"

Dipper was shocked to know he was way off. He then got back on track and turned to the page about gnomes.

'Gnomes. Little men of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses: Unknown.'

Dipper looked up to see Mabel tied to the ground.

"Give me back my sister!" Dipper demanded.

"This is a big misunderstanding," said one of the gnomes. "She's not in danger. She's just gonna marry all one thousand of us and become our queen for all eternity."

"You guys are buttholes!" Mabel screamed before other gnomes covered her mouth.

"You think you can stop us boy?" said the gnome. "You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with…"

Before he could finish, Dipper whacked the gnome in the head with his shovel.

"Go to hell, you piece of shit," he muttered.

Dipper then used the shovel to cut Mabel free.

The twins quickly got onto the golf cart. Dipper started the engine and backed out.

Once they were far enough away, Dipper stopped to breathe.

"What are you doing?" asked Mabel. "They can show up at any second?"

"With those tiny legs?" Dipper retorted. "I'd like to see them try."

That's when they both felt the ground shake. They turned around to see a giant gnome monster coming from behind.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" Dipper screamed as he sped away.

End of Flashback

So now we're caught up.

A couple of gnomes tried to board the cart.

Mabel punched one away.

Dipper grabbed another and hit it against the wheel.

Sadly, a third one grabbed Dipper's face and started scratching and biting it.

"I'll save you, Dipper!" Mabel shouted.

Mabel tried to punch the gnome off of Dipper. It took a few tries, but she got it. Sadly, the gnome took the hat with him.

"Thanks, Mabel," Dipper thanked.

"Don't mention it."

That's when the monster threw a tree at them. Dipper just narrowly drove past it.

The cart crashed right in front of the Mystery Shack.

The monster was right in front of them.

Dipper tried to throw his shovel. The monster just caught the shovel and threw it back. Dipper grabbed Mabel and narrowly jumped out of the way.

"Shit!" Dipper shouted.

"You gotta stop saying that," said Mabel.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, maybe…"

"It's over, kids!" the gnome at the top of the monster interrupted. "Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"

"There's gotta be a way out of this," Dipper said as he grabbed his journal.

"I gotta do it," said Mabel.

"What? Mabel, are you crazy?"

"Trust me. Just this once, trust me."

Given the situation, Dipper relented.

"Alright, Jeff," said Mabel. "I'll marry you."

"Hot dog," said the gnome as he climbed down.

Mabel got down on one knee and let Jeff give her a ring.

"You may now kiss the bride," she then said.

"Well, don't mind if I do."

Jeff leaned in for a kiss. Mabel leaned in as well…

And then grabbed a leaf blower. Jeff tried to escape the current, but it was too strong. He got sucked in.

"That's for lying to me!" Mabel shouted before she switched to reverse. "That's for breaking my heart!"

"Ow, my face," Jeff cried.

"And this is for messing with my brother!" Mabel finished. "Wanna do the honors?"

"On three," Dipper replied. "One, two, three!"

Dipper pulled the lever, causing the leaf blower to blow away. Jeff was sent flying towards the monster. When Jeff hit the monster, it lost balance. All the gnomes fell off of each other and onto the ground.

They all retreated before they could get some too.

Dipper was about to walk back inside.

"Hey, Dipper," Mabel called. "I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me."

"Don't be like that," Dipper replied. "You saved our butts back there."

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes."

"Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one will be a vampire."

"You're just saying that." Mabel playfully punched her brother's arm.

"Awkward sibling hug?"

"Awkward sibling hug."

The two twins hugged each other. They then patted each other's backs.

The two entered the shack.

"Yeesh, did you two get hit by a bus or something?" Stan asked before laughing at his own joke. The twins ignored him and headed for their room. "Hey, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so how about each of you take one item from the gift shop on the house?"

Dipper may have only known Stan for a few days, but he could tell when Stan was up to something. "What's the catch?"

"The catch is do it before I change my mind."

Dipper looked around the shop. He noticed a blue and white hat with a pine tree on it. He tried it on. He looked at himself in the mirror. It looked great on him.

"That oughta do the trick," he said to himself.

He then turned to Mabel. She chose a grappling hook.

"Wouldn't you prefer a doll or sticker or something?" Dipper asked.

Mabel grappled up to the ceiling.

"Grappling hook!" she shouted.

"Fair enough," Stan decided.

Later that night, the twins were in their room minding their own business.

Mabel was jumping on her bed. Clearly she never listened to the nursery rhyme about the five monkeys and the bed.

Dipper laid on his bed and wrote in the journal.

'Finally back safe and sound from one of the weirdest days at Gravity Falls.

This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust.

But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back.

Dipper watched as Mabel used her grappling hook to grab a nearby toy tiger.

"Hey Mabel, could you get the light?" he asked.

"On it," Mabel replied.

She fired her grapple at the lantern. She sent it flying out the window. Hey, at least the light was out. Dipper finished his entry.

Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town, but who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked?'

Downstairs, Stan went to the vending machine. He typed a code. A secret door opened where the machine was.

Stan walked inside. He looked back one last time to make sure no one was around. When he confirmed the coast was clear, he walked inside.

Chapter 2: The Gobblewonker

Chapter Text

It was just your typical summer day for the Pines twins.

"Are you ready, bro?" Mabel asked as she held out her 'Sir Syrup'.

"I'm always ready," Dipper replied as he held out his 'Mountie Man'.

"Then you know what this means."

The twins were holding a competition to see who would be the first to get a drop of syrup in their mouths. In the end, Mabel won. She did choke on the syrup, but it was worth it.

Dipper started to read the magazine. He found something that excited him.

"Mabel, look at this," he said as he showed the magazine.

Mabel gasped in excitement. "Human-sized hamster ball? I'm human-sized."

"No, this." On the next page was a 'Monster Photo Contest'. The prize money was 1000 dollars. "We see weirder stuff than that every day. We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, didn't we?"

"Nope, just memories."

That's when Stan came into the room.

"Good morning, knuckleheads," he greeted. "You two know what day it is?"

The twins didn't know what day it was.

"Happy anniversary?" Dipper guessed.

"Mazel tov!" Mabel guessed.

Stan hit Dipper in the head with his newspaper.

"It's family fun day, genius," he said. "We're cutting off work and having one of those, you know, bonding-type deals."

Dipper had a bad feeling about this. "Grunkle Stan, is this gonna be anything like our last family bonding day?"

Dipper and Mabel thought back to the day Stan taught them how to make counterfeit money and got caught by the cops.

"The county jail was so cold," Mabel stuttered.

"Alright, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker," Stan admitted. "But I swear, today we'll have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get in my car?"

"Yay!" both kids cheered.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus.

In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 2

The Legend of the Gobblewonker

Dipper and Mabel were blindfolded, so they had no idea where they were going. This made Dipper feel uneasy.

"Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?" he asked.

"No," Stan replied. "But with these cataracts, I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker?"

Dipper then felt the car hit something. This made him scream.

After what felt like hours, the trio finally reached their destination.

"Okay, open them up," Stan ordered.

Dipper and Mabel removed their blindfolds to see Stan wearing fishing gear. Above him was a banner.

FISHING SEASON OPENING DAY

"Ta-da, it's fishing season!" Stan announced.

"What are you playing at, old man?" Dipper asked, still suspicious.

"You're gonna love it," Stan assured. "The whole town's out here."

For once, Stan wasn't lying. The whole town really was out there on the lake.

Wendy and her family were among the many families and friends out there. Her dad was showing her and her brothers how to fish "like a man".

He managed to get a fish with his bare hands. He then started to wrestle with it. The boys cheered, "Dad! Dad! Dad!"

Wendy just rolled her eyes.

"Grunkle Stan, why do you want to bond with us all of a sudden?" asked Dipper.

"This is gonna be great," Stan replied. "I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me. They don't 'like or trust' me. Here, I even made these. I made them myself." Stan handed the twins fishing hats. Their names were poorly stitched onto them. "It's just gonna be you, me, and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours. I brought the joke book."

"Oh shit," Dipper muttered. "There's gotta be a way out of this."

As if to answer his call, a crazy old man came from the dock. He had a bandaged right arm, caveman clothing, a brown, torn-up hat, and a long white beard with a band-aid on it.

"I seen it again!" he screamed, running around like an insane man. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scramdoodles away!"

He then started to dance. This didn't go unnoticed by the twins.

"Ah, he's doing a happy jig," Mabel smiled.

"No!" the old man shouted. "It's a jig of grave danger!"

That's when a lifeguard came out of the nearby shed.

"Hey, hey!" he shouted as he sprayed the old man. "What did I say about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, Dad."

"But I got proof this time, by gummity!" the old man yelled. He led the group to a damaged fishing boat. "Behold! It's Gobbledywonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe, and wrinkly skin like…" He pointed at Stan. "This gentleman right here."

Stan was too busy cleaning out his ears to listen. "Huh?"

"It chopped my boat up to smitheroons!" the crazy man continued as if Stan was paying attention. "It shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! You gotta believe me!"

"Attention all units," said the nearby sheriff. "We got ourselves a crazy old man."

Everyone started laughing at the old man, with a few exceptions. Stan had no idea what was happening, the lifeguard shook his head, disappointed, and the twins felt bad.

"Well, that happened," Stan remarked. "Now, let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!"

"Mabel, did you hear what that old dude said?" Dipper asked excitedly.

"'Aw, donkey spittle!'" Mabel imitated.

"The other thing, about the monster. If we can snag a photo of it, we could split the prize fifty-fifty. Imagine what you could do with five hundred dollars."

Dipper could tell Mabel was staring off into space again, likely imagining getting her hands on that human-sized hamster ball.

"Mabel!" he snapped her back to reality.

"Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this," Mabel replied.

"Grunkle Stan, change of plans," Dipper told Stan. "We're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we are gonna find that gobblewonker."

"Monster hunt! Monster hunt!" the twins cheered together.

The crazy man from earlier joined until the twins stared at him. He backed away.

Before Stan could even say no, Soos showed up with an even larger boat. The 'S.S. COOL DUDE'.

"You dudes say something about a monster hunt?" he asked.

"Soos!" Mabel cheered.

"What's up, hambone?" Soos asked as he fist-bumped Mabel. "Dude, you could totally use my boat for a hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs, normal boat stuff."

"Alright, let's think this through," Stan said. "You kids could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your great-uncle Stan."

The twins didn't need to think twice about this. They went with Soos, no questions asked.

Dipper stood in front of the boat heroically.

"Hoist the anchor!" he ordered. "Wave the flag!"

Soos raised the anchor, while Mabel waved a flag that she made.

"We're gonna find that gobblewonker!" said Mabel. "And win that photo contest!"

"Do any of you have sunscreen?" asked Soos.

"We're gonna go get sunscreen," said Dipper.

"Yay!" Soos and Mabel cheered as they turned around.

Once they got the sunscreen, Dipper paced around the boat.

"Alright, if we want to win this contest, we've gotta do it right," he said. "Think, what's the number one problem with most monster hunts?"

"You're a side character and you die in the first five minutes of the movie," Soos suggested. "Dude, am I a side character? Do you ever think about stuff like that?"

"No, no, no," Dipper replied. "Camera trouble. Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be Bigfoot."

Soos started to act like Bigfoot.

"There he is, Bigfoot!" Dipper acted overdramatically. "Oh no, no camera! Oh, wait, here's one!" Dipper took out a small camera. "Ah, no film!" He started speaking normally again. "You see what I'm doing here?" Mabel and Soos nodded. "That's why I bought seventeen disposable cameras. Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one under my hat. There's no way we're gonna miss this. Alright, let's test our cameras out."

Soos tested his camera. He held it the wrong way. He flashed himself, then accidentally threw his camera in the water.

"You see, this is exactly why you need backup cameras," Dipper said unfazed. "We still have sixteen."

Right as he said that, a bird came down. Mabel impulsively threw her camera at it.

"Fifteen," Dipper corrected himself. "Okay guys, I repeat, don't lose your cameras."

Right as he said that, he punched a camera by accident. He started to get agitated.

"So what's the plan?" asked Mabel. "Throw more cameras overboard?"

"No!" Dipper snapped before calming himself down. "Here's the plan. Mabel, you'll be lookout. Soos can work the steering wheel. I'll be captain."

"Why do you get to be captain? What about me?"

"I'm sure that'snota good idea."

"What about co-captain?"

"There's no such thing." Mabel threatened to drop another camera. "Fine! You can be co-captain! Now, asfirstcaptain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this."

With everything in order, the trio headed for the island. Mabel started playing with a nearby pelican.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?" Dipper scolded.

"I am," Mabel assured. Right as she said that, the ship ran aground. "See, I'm a lookout genius? Hamster ball, here we come."

As the trio explored, Soos got distracted by a sign. It read, 'Scuttlebutt Island'. Soos covered the 'Scuttle' in 'Scuttlebutt', making the sign say, 'Butt Island'.

"Soos, you rapscallion," Mabel laughed.

That's when the trio heard a noise.

"What was that?" asked Dipper.

Mabel turned to Soos. "Was that your stomach?"

"No, my stomach normally makes whale noises," Soos replied.

Mabel listened to Soos' stomach. It did make whale noises.

"So majestic," she said.

That's when a possum showed up and took the lantern. Now, they were unable to see in the thick fog.

"I don't know, dudes," said Soos. "Maybe this isn't worth it."

"Not worth it?" Dipper reacted. "Soos, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!"

Dipper fantasized a reality where he got the picture and became the most popular man on Earth.

With that, the trio continued.

After walking around the woods for a while, they heard a growl. They then saw a bunch of birds flying away.

The trio made it to the source of the noise. They got their cameras ready.

It wasn't a monster. It was just a bunch of beavers.

"Then what was that monster noise?" Dipper wondered.

As if to answer his question, they heard the noise again. It was a beaver activating a chainsaw.

Maybe that guy was crazy after all,Dipper thought to himself.He did use the word 'scrapdoodle'.

Dipper sat at the edge of the pond and continued to think. He started to regret ditching Stan over something that turned out to be nothing.

Then he started to see vibrations in the water. He backed away from the water and looked around cautiously.

After a while, he noticed something swimming in the pond. He took out his camera and started taking pictures.

Dipper turned around to see Mabel and Soos backing away.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

When he turned back, the creature was right at him.

The trio ran in the opposite direction. The monster chased them.

Dipper turned back to get another picture.

He then tripped on a tree root. He dropped the camera. He tried to go back for it, but Soos grabbed him.

"If it makes you feel better, I got a ton of pictures of those beavers," said Soos.

"How the hell would that make me feel better?" asked Dipper.

The trio got onto the boat. Soos backed away and tried to head back to the dock. The monster still chased them.

Mabel started throwing cameras at the monster in an attempt to fend it off.

"Mabel, what the hell are you doing?" Dipper yelled.

"Don't worry, I got one left!" Mabel assured.

Mabel tossed the camera to Dipper. Dipper just barely caught it. He was about to get another picture with it when he noticed it wasn't right.

"Cracked lens?" he yelled. "God dammit!"

After being chased for a while, they were heading towards a waterfall.

"Which way should I go?" Soos panicked.

Dipper skimmed through the journal before he found the answer. "Go to the falls! There might be a cave behind there!"

"Might be?" Mabel asked.

Thankfully, Dipper was right. There was a cave on the other side of the waterfall.

The monster stuck its head through as well. It reached out to eat the trio…

Thankfully, it was stuck.

This was the perfect opportunity. Dipper looked around for cameras. Thankfully, there was one more in his hat. He took multiple pictures.

"Did you get a good one?" asked Mabel.

"They're all good ones!" Dipper replied.

The twins hugged each other.

They turned back towards the monster. A piece of debris fell and hit the monster in the head. It fell to the floor. Its glowing yellow eyes turned black.

Dipper got a closer look at the monster. The harder he looked, the more… off, it felt.

He banged on the monster. He heard a metal clunk.

Dipper got even more curious. He climbed on top of the monster.

"Be careful, dude!" Soos yelled.

Dipper barely heard him. He noticed a knob on top of the monster.

"Hey guys, come check this out!" he called.

Once Mabel and Soos joined him, Dipper turned the knob. A hatch opened.

Inside the monster was a person. Not just any person, but the same crazy man from earlier.

"Old Man McGucket?" Soos asked.

Dipper turned towards Soos with a shocked look on his face. "He had a name this whole time?"

The crazy man seemed shocked and frustrated to see that he got caught.

"Banjo polish," he muttered.

"You made this?" Dipper asked. "Why?"

"I, I just wanted attention," McGucket replied.

"I still don't understand."

"Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brainwave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick shift with my beard."

"Okay, yeah, butwhydid you do it?"

"Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays attention to you anymore. My own son hasn't visited me in months. So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen-ton aquatic robot, and I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dumb dude!"

"Hey!" Soos reacted.

"In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived," said McGucket. "You just don't know the lengths us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family."

Dipper and Mabel realized that was exactly what they did to Stan. They both sighed, knowing, in a way, they were the real lake monsters.

"So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?" Mabel asked.

"No sir," McGucket replied. "I got to work straight on the robot. I made lots of robots in my day, like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron, or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party, and I constructed an eighty-ton shame-bot that exploded the entire downtown area! Ha ha ha! Now, time to get back to work on the death ray! Any of you have a screwdriver?"

"Well, so much for the photo contest," Dipper sighed. "We still have one roll of film left. What do you want to do with it?"

Stan returned to the shore from a long, boring fishing trip. No kids, no friends, just him and the creepy fish bait.

That's when Dipper and Mabel returned.

"Kids, I thought you were playing Spin the Bottle with Soos," he reacted.

"We were trying to find a legendary dinosaur," Dipper replied. "But we realized the only dinosaur we want to hang out with is right here."

"Save your sympathy!" Stan yelled. "I've been having a great time without you, making friends, talking to my reflection, I even had a run-in with the lake police. Now I gotta wear this bracelet on my ankle, so that will be fun."

Stan did, in fact, have an ankle-bracelet.

"So I guess there isn't room in that boat for three more?" asked Mabel as she and Dipper put on their hats.

"You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?" Stan replied.

"Five bucks says you can't do it," Dipper betted.

"You're on."

"Five bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed PLUS me singing at the top of my lungs!" said Mabel.

"I like those odds!"

With that, Soos and the twins got on the boat. Stan noticed Soos wearing a lifejacket with no shirt.

"What happened to your shirt?" he asked.

"Long story dude," Soos replied.

"Alright," said Dipper. "Everybody say 'fishing'!"

"Fishing!" Mabel and Stan said together.

Soos tried to get in the picture too.

"Am I in the frame?" he asked.

Only his fat stomach was in there. Dipper decided it was good enough. He took the picture.

Chapter 3: The Hand that Rocks the Mabel

Chapter Text

Stan was showing off his attractions to a group of tourists.

"For tonight's final illusion, we have the sack of mystery," he showed them. "When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears."

You'd think these tourists would see the scam a mile away, but they were all dumber than a bag of rocks. They gave him as much money as they could spare.

Inside, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos were watching TV. After a while, it cut to a commercial.

"Hey, it's the commercial I was telling you about," said Soos.

"Are you completely miserable?" asked a voice on screen.

The TV showed a man sitting on a bed, crying in the most over dramatic way possible.

"Yes!" he shouted.

"Then you need to meet…" the voice said before a shadowy figure appeared on screen. "Gideon."

"Gideon?" Dipper asked suspiciously. "What makes him so special?"

"He's a psychic," the voice replied. "So don't waste your time with other so-called 'men of mystery'..." Stan appeared on screen coming out of a porta-potty like a crazy old man. The word 'Fraud' appeared on screen in big red letters. "Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy! Void wear prohibited, no COD's accepted, Carla, I've always loved you, but I never had the guts to say it."

"Wow, I'm getting curious," Mabel admitted.

"Well, don't get too curious," Stan warned as he came in. "Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I had nothing but trouble."

"Well, is he really psychic?" asked Mabel.

"I think we should find out," Dipper added.

"Never!" Stan yelled. "You're forbidden from patronizing the competition! No one that lives under my roof is allowed under Gideon's roof!"

"Tents don't have roofs," Dipper corrected. "I think we just found our loophole."

"So come down folks," the commercial announcer finished. "Gideon's expecting you."

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus.

In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 3

The Hand That Rocks the Mabel

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos made it to the Tent of Telepathy. Dipper could only describe it with one sentence. "A bizarro version of the Mystery Shack (they even have their own Soos)."

To be fair, he wasn't wrong. The Tent did have a handyman named Deuce, according to the nametag.

Soos glared at Deuce suspiciously.

The show began. A large shadow appeared behind the curtain. The curtain opened.

On the other side was a tiny boy with a chubby face and freckles. He had long white hair, though a lot of it was straightened upward. He wore a tiny blue suit and a white cape.

"Hello America, my name is Lil' Gideon!" he announced in the cutest voice. He clapped his hands, and multiple white doves flew out of his hair.

"That's Stan's mortal enemy?" Dipper asked, bewildered. "But he's so little."

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's such a gift to have you here tonight," Gideon continued. "I have a vision. I predict you'll soon say 'aw'."

Gideon then made a cute face. The crowd reacted exactly how he said they would. "Aw."

"I'm not impressed," Dipper lied.

"Yes you are," Mabel replied.

Gideon then turned towards the man who collected the money from the guests. "Hit it, Dad."

Play "Gideon's Song" from Gravity Falls

The man started to play some music. Gideon tossed his cape into the crowd. Some women in the crowd fought over it.

Gideon:

Oh, I can see what other can't see

It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability

Where others are blind I am futurely inclined

And you too could see if you was widdle ol' me

"Come on, everybody, ride up!" Gideon shouted. "I want y'all to keep it going!"

The crowd started to stand. Dipper stood among them. He felt like he was forced to stand. He was genuinely surprised.

"How did he…" he asked himself.

Gideon then started pointing to random people in the crowd.

You wish your son would call you more

"I'm leaving everything to my cats!" an old cat lady shouted.

I sense that you've been here before

"What gave it away?" the sheriff asked as if he wasn't holding a bunch of Gideon merchandise.

Gideon then walked off the stage and approached Mabel.

I'll read your mind, if I'm able

Something tells me you're named Mabel

So welcome all ye

To the Tent of Telepathy

Thanks for visiting widdle ol' me

End "Gideon's Song"

Gideon chugged a bottle of water after that energy-draining song.

"Thank you!" he thanked. "You all are the real miracles!"

With the show over, everyone headed home for the night.

"That guy's a bigger fraud than Stan," Dipper remarked. "No wonder our uncle hates him so much."

"Come on," said Mabel. "His dance moves were adorable, and did you see his hair? It was like,Whoosh!"

"You're too easily impressed."

"Yeah yeah."

The twins walked away, not noticing that Gideon was watching them.

The next morning, Mabel showed Dipper her bedazzled face. Multiple red, blue, and green jewels were glued onto her entire face, including her eyelids.

"Is that permanent?" Dipper asked, concerned.

"I am underappreciated in my time," Mabel remarked.

That's when the doorbell rang. Mabel went to answer it.

When she opened the door, the last person she expected to see was Lil' Gideon.

"Howdy," he greeted.

"It's widdle ol' you," Mabel smiled.

"Yeah, my song's quite catchy. I know we haven't formally met yet, but after yesterday's performance, I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head." Mabel laughed the laugh Gideon was referring to. "When I saw you in the audience, I said to myself, 'Now there's a kindred spirit, someone who appreciates the sparkly things in life'."

"That's totally me!"

Mabel ended up swallowing some of the gems on her face, then coughed them out. The gems arranged perfectly onto Gideon's collar.

"Enchanting," he smiled. "Utterly enchanting."

"Who's at the door?" came Stan's voice.

"No one!" Mabel lied.

"I appreciate your discretion," said Gideon. "Stan's no fan of mine. I don't know how a lemon so sour can be related to a peach so sweet."

"Gideon!" Mabel pretended to scold.

"What do you say we step away from here and chat a little bit more? Perhaps in my dressing room?"

"Makeovers, yay!" Mabel poked Gideon in the chest, a bit harder than she intended.

"Ow."

Gideon and Mabel made it to Gideon's house. Gideon led Mabel to the dressing room. Mabel was amazed.

"Look at all your clothes," she smiled. "I can't believe this!"

"Do you see something you like?" asked Gideon. "'Cause I do?"

Mabel returned to the Mystery Shack with straightened hair, a pink bow, makeup, and polished pink nails.

Dipper was standing in the corner of the gift shop reading his journal when Mabel showed off her new nails.

"Hey, Dipper," she greeted.

"Mabel!" Dipper yelled, startled by her presence. "Where have you been, and what's with those fingernails? You look like a wolverine."

"I know, right?" Mabel roared and moved her nails like she was a wildcat. "I've been hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. He's one dapper little man."

The same boy from a couple chapters ago was about to offer Mabel a flower before he heard about her new pal. He sighed and walked away sadly.

"Mabel, I don't trust anyone whose hair is bigger than their head," said Dipper.

"Leave him alone," Mabel scolded. "You never want to do girl stuff with me. You and Soos do boy stuff all the time."

"What do you mean?"

Soos showed up with a batch of hot dogs.

"Dude, you ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?" he asked.

"Am I?" Dipper replied.

Dipper and Soos headed to the kitchen to blow up the hot dogs.

"One at a time! One at a time!" the boys cheered.

A bit later, Mabel and Gideon were sitting on the roof of a factory, enjoying the view.

"Wow, the view from your family's factory is nuts," Mabel remarked. "Good thing we both brought our…"

"Opera glasses," the two finished in unison. They both laughed.

After looking down at the city for a bit, Gideon spoke what was on his mind. "Mabel, when I'm up here, looking down on all them little ol' people, I feel like I'm king of all I survey. I guess that makes you my queen."

"What?" Mabel reacted. "You are being so nice to me right now! Quit it!"

"I can't. I'm speaking from the heart. I've never felt this close with anyone."

Mabel realized what Gideon meant. "Look, Gideon, I like you a lot, but let's just be friends."

"At least give me a chance. Will you do me the honor of going on a date? It'll just be one little ol' date. I swear on my lucky bolo tie."

Mabel was still hesitant. Gideon then used his cute face.

"Okay then," she reluctantly relented. "I guess."

"Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world!" Gideon smiled as he hugged Mabel.

Mabel could feel Gideon sniffing. "Are you sniffing my hair?"

Later, Dipper and Mabel were playing on Stan's SNES.

"It's not a date-date," Mabel assured. "I just, you know, didn't want to hurt his feelings, and so I figured I'd throw him a bone."

"Mabel, guys don't work that way," Dipper warned. "He's gonna fall in love with you."

"Yeah, right. I'm not that lovable." Mabel realized she won the game. "WOO! Yes!"

"Okay, we agree on something here."

That's when the doorbell rang. Mabel answered. The moment she opened the door, a large horse popped in, jumpscaring her. On the horse's back was Gideon in deputy gear.

"A night of enchantment awaits, milady," he smiled.

"Oh boy," Mabel smiled nervously.

A bit later, Gideon and Mabel were at the fanciest restaurant in Gravity Falls.

"I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here," Mabel remarked.

"Well, people have a hard time saying no to me," Gideon replied as he put his feet on the table.

The waiter came in to pour Gideon a glass of water.

"Ah, Gideon," he smiled. "The feet on the table. An excellent choice."

"Jean-Luc, what did we discuss about eye-contact?" Gideon scolded.

"Yes, yes, very good." The waiter walked away.

"I've never seen so many forks," Mabel said as she looked at the options. She then looked at her water glass. "And water with bubbles in it? Oui oui."

"Parlez-vous français?" Gideon asked.

"I have no idea what you're saying."

The next day, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy were sitting in the gift shop minding their own business when Stan entered with a newspaper.

"Hey, what the Jekyll is Mabel doing in the paper next to that greasy pickpocket, Gideon?" he asked as he pointed at the front-page picture. The picture showed Mabel and Gideon holding hands while walking down the street.

"Oh yeah, it's like a big deal," said Wendy. "Everyone's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight."

"What? That little shyster is dating my great-niece?"

"I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple," Soos pondered. "Mab-eon? Gid-abel?"Gasp."Ma-gid-bel-eon!"

Stan threw the paper onto the ground aggressively then left the room.

"I didn't know about it!" Dipper defended himself. "I told her not to do it!"

"Well, it ends tonight," Stan declared as he came back in his suit. "I'm going right down to that little skunk's house, and this will stop right now!"

Stan walked out the door.

"It would've been funny if that ended up being a closet and he had to walk out and use the real door," Soos remarked.

Stan drove to Gideon's house. He got out of the car and stomped to the front door.

"Gideon, you pouch of piss!" he screamed. "Open up!" He noticed the sign that read, 'Pardon the Garden'. "I will pardon nothing!"

The man that answered the door was a couple of feet larger than Stan. He had short brown hair. He wore a pink outfit and a yellow hat. He seemed delighted to see Stan.

"Why, Stanford Pines," he greeted. "What a delight."

"Out of the way, Bud," Stan demanded. "I'm looking for Gideon!"

"Well, I haven't seen the boy around, but since you're here, you simply must come in for coffee." Bud led Stan inside. "It's imported all the way from Columbia."

"Wow, I went to jail there once." Stan looked around the fancy living room and whistled. "Some digs you got here." He then turned to the painting of a sad clown. "This is beautiful."

Bud came in with two cups of coffee. "I hear your niece and my Gideon are… they're singing in harmony, so to speak."

"Yeah, and I'm against it!" Stan smacked a pillow off the couch for emphasis.

"No, no, no, I see it as a fantastic business opportunity. Yes, the Mystery Shack and the Tent of Telepathy. We've been at each other's throats for far too…" Bud noticed a picture of Stan in front of a dart board. "Let me get that." He took the picture off the board. "At each other's throats for far too long. This is our big chance to brush aside our rivalry and pool our collective profits, you see."

Stan smiled at the idea. He leaned on a cash register, which made a little ding. He closed it right after it opened.

"I'm listening," he said.

"And I said, 'Autograph your own headshot, lady'," Gideon said after he finished his food.

"Uh, yeah," Mabel said unenthusiastically. She had a hard time enjoying her lobster because it was snapping at her.

"Mabel, tonight's date was a complete success, and tomorrow's date promises to top this one in every way."

"Whoa, you said just one date."

"What a surprise. A red crested South American rainbow macaw." A large multicolored bird flew onto Gideon's shoulder. "Two, three, four…"

"Mabel…" the bird said. "Will… you… accompany… Gideon… to… the… ballroom… dance… this…. 'Thurbday'..." Gideon shook the bird. "Thursday!"

A letter regurgitated from the bird's beak. The bird then flew away.

"They're expecting us," said Gideon. "Please say you'll go."

Mabel turned around. A whole crowd of people were smiling at her, as if begging her to go along with this.

"Gideon, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say…" Mabel was about to say.

"I'm on the edge of my seat," the sheriff interrupted.

"This is gonna be adorable!" a transgender man added.

"If she says no, I'll die of sadness," an older woman cried.

"I can verify that will indeed happen," said a doctor.

Mabel returned to the Mystery Shack with a glum look on her face. This did not go unnoticed by Dipper.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I don't know," Mabel replied as she put her new lobster in a tank. "I have a lobster now."

"At least it's over and you never have to go out with him again." Dipper noticed Mabel's face remained. "Mabel, it's over, right?"

"Blargh! He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no!"

"Like this. 'No'."

"It's not that simple, Dipper. And I do like Gideon, as a friend, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I just need to get things back the way they used to be."

That night, Mabel and Gideon were riding down the lake. Old Man McGucket was steering.

"Boating at night! Boating at night!" he laughed.

"You know, I thought dancing was going to be the end of the evening, right?" said Mabel.

"Don't you want this evening to last, my sweet?" Gideon asked.

"No! I mean, I'm always happy to hang out with a friend! Pal, chum, mate."

"How about soulmate?"

Fireworks lit up in the sky. They had Mabel's name in a heart.

"You can't say no to that," said McGucket.

Later that night, Dipper was walking downstairs to get a drink of water. He noticed Mabel pacing around the living room.

"He's so nice!" she said to herself. "But I can't keep doing this, but I can't break his heart! I have no way out!"

"What the hell happened on that date?" Dipper asked.

"One minute, we were in the friendzone, but before I knew it, he pulled me into the romance zone. It was like quicksand."

"Come on, Mabel. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon."

"Great news, Mabel!" Stan shouted as he came in wearing a 'Team Gideon' shirt. "You have to marry Gideon!"

"What?" Mabel reacted.

"It's part of my long term deal with Bud Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus, I have this shirt." He looked at himself and realized, "Wow, I am fat." Mabel ran out of the room screaming. Stan assumed she was screaming about his gut. "Bodies change, Mabel!"

Dipper entered the attic to check on Mabel. He noticed her hiding in her sweater.

"Oh no, Mabel?" he said, knowing where this was going.

"Mabel's not here," Mabel lied. "She's in sweater town."

"Are you gonna come out?"

"Mm."

"Well, how about this? If you don't break up with Gideon, I'll do it for you."

"You will?" Dipper nodded. Mabel came out of her 'sweater town' and hugged Dipper. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Dipper made it to the restaurant Mabel said Gideon would be at. 'The Club'.

Dipper noticed Gideon sitting on the big table. He cleared his throat to get his attention.

"Dipper Pines," Gideon smiled. "Nice to see you. You look good."

"Thanks," Dipper thanked before getting serious. "Gideon, we gotta talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight. She doesn't want to see you anymore. She's kinda weirded out by you, no offense."

"So what you're saying is…" Dipper noticed Gideon's eye twitch. "You've come between us."

"You're not gonna freak out or anything, are you?"

Gideon's normal gleeful smile returned. "Of course not. Things happen. Bygones, you know."

"Cool. Sorry man. Hey, thumbs up?"

Dipper walked away.

"Thumbs up, indeed," Gideon whispered with a cruel smile.

Dipper met up with Mabel outside.

"How'd it go?" Mabel asked. "Was he mad? Did he try to read your mind with psychic powers?"

"Don't worry, Mabel," Dipper assured. "He's a kid. He doesn't have powers."

Gideon sat in his room. He stared at himself in the mirror. He was fighting the urge to cry.

"Dipper Pines, you don't know what you've done," he said. Gideon held onto the jewel on his bolo tie. The light bulbs around his mirror started to shatter. Small objects in his room floated in the air. "You just made the biggest mistake of your life!"

Gideon threw everything onto the ground. They all shattered and scattered.

Bud came into the room.

"Gideon Charles Gleeful!" he yelled. "Clean up your room this instant!"

"I can buy and sell you, old man!" Gideon threatened.

"Fair enough." Bud left the room.

Gideon looked at a photo he had of Dipper and Mabel. He used his amulet to burn Dipper's half of the photo.

The next morning, Dipper and Mabel were playing with Soos and having a good time.

"I'm so glad everything's back to normal," said Mabel. Right as she said that, the phone rang. Mabel turned to Dipper. "Your turn."

Since she said it first, Dipper had to answer.

"Oh man?" he muttered. Dipper entered the house and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper," said the voice on the phone. "Say, we want to interview you about whether you've seen anything unusual in this here town since you've arrived."

"Finally! I thought you'd never ask. I have notes, theories… Uh-huh. 412 Gopher Road." He wrote the address on a notepad. "Tonight? Got it."

Dipper hung up.

That night, Dipper reached the address. When he noticed the abandoned house, he assumed he was in the wrong place.

He rechecked his notes. According to the mailbox with the number '412' on it, this was the place.

Dipper entered the building.

"Hello?" he called, causing an echo.

When no one answered, Dipper turned around.

However, before he could leave, the door slammed itself shut.

A light turned on. In front of Dipper, Gideon sat on a chair holding a toy of himself.

"Hello, friend," he greeted menacingly. "Dipper Pines. How long have you been living here? A week? Two? How's the scenery?"

"What do you want from me?" Dipper asked.

"Listen, boy. This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend."

"Is this about Mabel? I told you, she's not into you."

"Liar! You turned her against me!" Gideon stood up and held his amulet. "She was my peach dumpling!"

Dipper noticed the glow coming from Gideon's chest. "Are you okay, man?"

Before Dipper knew it, he was floating off the floor. Then, he was sent flying into a stack of boxes.

"Reading minds isn't all I can do," Gideon smiled.

"But you're fake," Dipper panicked.

"Oh, tell me. Is this fake?"

Gideon lifted multiple bits of Gideon merchandise, and he aimed them all towards Dipper.

At the shack, Mabel sat on the porch chewing her hair. She couldn't help but feel bad for not severing ties with Gideon herself. That's when she noticed Wendy sitting next to her.

"How's that hair tasting, buddy?" she asked.

"Wendy, I need some advice," said Mabel. "You broke up with guys, right?"

"Yeah. Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stony Davidson…"

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross. Maybe making Dipper do it for me was a mistake. Gideon deserves an honest break-up."

"Danny Feldman, Mark Epstein…" Wendy continued. "Oh, I don't think I actually broke up with him. No wonder he keeps calling me."

"I know what I gotta do," said Mabel. "Thanks for talking to me, Wendy."

Mabel got on her bike and left the shack.

Meanwhile, Dipper was trying to avoid all the projectiles thrown his way. He narrowly avoided each and every one.

At some point, Gideon tipped a shelf over in an attempt to crush Dipper. He jumped out of the way in time, but he hit the wall.

"Grunkle Stan was right about you!" Dipper yelled. "You are a monster!"

"Your sister will be mine!" Gideon laughed.

Gideon pulled the string of one of his toys. It made the same laugh.

Dipper found a bat next to him. An idea popped into his mind.

When he turned back, Gideon was busy playing with his toy.

With Gideon distracted, Dipper made his move. He ran towards Gideon, bat in hand, and landed a hit.

Gideon was quick to recover. He lifted Dipper into the air.

"She's never gonna date you, man!" Dipper yelled.

"That's a lie!" Gideon screamed. "And I'm gonna make sure you never lie to me again, friend."

Gideon pulled a pair of scissors out of a box and got ready to cut Dipper in half.

That's when Mabel showed up in the nick of time.

"Gideon, stop!" she yelled.

"Mabel, my marshmallow," Gideon smiled as he dropped the scissors. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, Gideon. I can't be your marshmallow. I should've been honest and told you that myself."

"I don't understand." Gideon closed his fist, inadvertently squeezing Dipper.

"Mabel, this isn't the time to be brutally honest with him," he struggled to say.

"But we can still be buddies, right?" Mabel asked. "Wouldn't you like that?"

"Really?" Gideon smiled.

Mabel noticed the amulet and grabbed it, releasing Dipper.

"No, not really!" she shouted. "You were like attacking my brother! What the hell! Sorry, I meant heck."

"My tie, give it back!" Gideon demanded.

Mabel tossed the amulet to Dipper. He caught it.

"Not so powerful without this, are you?" he remarked.

Gideon wasn't going down, though. He grabbed Dipper and pushed him out the window. They both traded punches before they realized they were both falling to their deaths. They screamed and braced themselves…

But then they started floating before they touched the ground.

When they looked up, they saw Mabel floating down to the ground, wearing the amulet.

"Listen, Gideon," she told Gideon. "It's over. I will never, ever date you."

Mabel set Gideon and Dipper onto the ground. She then threw the amulet down, and crushed it with her foot, destroying it.

"My powers!" Gideon whined before backing into the woods. "This isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of widdle ol' me."

Back at Gideon's house, Stan and Bud were drinking some SnP approved equivalent to liquor, having the time of their lives.

"This is living, brother," Stan smiled.

"From now on, it's all name brand foods and clown paintings," Bud said. That's when Gideon came in. Bud turned to him and smiled. "Hey, Gideon, look who I…"

"Stanford Pines," Gideon interrupted. "I rebuke thee. I rebuke thee! The entire Pines family has invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!"

Stan sat silently for a long moment before finally saying, "Are those real words?"

"But sunshine, what about our arrangement?" Bud asked.

"Silence!" Gideon screamed.

"Well, I see he's taken to one of his rages again. Sorry, Stan, but I have to side with Gideon on this one."

Bud tore up the contract.

"Okay, I can see when I'm not wanted," said Stan. He took the clown painting and made a run for it. "Try and catch me, suckers!"

Stan made it back to the shack. He hung the painting on the wall, but he wasn't satisfied. It was just a reminder of what he lost.

He turned around to see the twins sitting on the couch.

"What happened to you two?" he asked.

"Gideon," they both replied in unison.

"I see. The little butthead swore vengeance on the whole family. I guess he's gonna nibble my ankles or something."

"Yeah," said Dipper. "How's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?"

"He'll never guess my number," Mabel added. "Negative eight. Who'd guess a negative number?"

"Look out," said Stan. "I bet he's planning our destruction right now."

The three laughed at the joke.

What none of them realized was that Gideon was, in fact, planning their destruction.

Gideon crafted a small version of the Mystery Shack and the Pines family.

"Gideon, I still love you," he said, playing with the Mabel figurine. "If only my family weren't in the way." He then played with the Stan figure. "Look at me, I'm old and smelly." Next, he played with the Dipper toy. "Hey, what are you gonna do without your precious amulet?" Finally, he went back to his normal voice. "You'll see, boy. You'll see."

Gideon turned to a book with a page about a mystic amulet. He closed the book.

The book had a red cover with a golden six-fingered hand in the middle. The hand had the number two on it.

Chapter 4: The Inconveniencing

Chapter Text

Dipper and Mabel were sitting in the gift shop minding their own business. Dipper was reading the journal. Mabel was spinning on the globe.

"Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?" Dipper asked.

"I believe you're a big dork," Mabel replied.

Dipper did not take kindly to that. To retaliate, he touched the globe, making it stop spinning. Since it was spinning so fast, the sudden stop caused Mabel to fall off.

That's when Stan came in.

"Soos, Wendy!" he called.

Wendy barely turned to face Stan. Soos quickly dropped what he was doing and diverted all of his attention to Stan.

"Yes sir?" he asked with a salute.

"I'm heading out," Stan said. "You two will clean the bathrooms, right?"

"Yes sir," Soos replied as he kept his salute.

"Absolutely not," Wendy said as she also made a salute.

Stan only laughed at that. "You stay out of trouble."

Once Stan left, Wendy walked towards a nearby curtain.

"Hey guys, check this out," she said as she opened the curtain to reveal a ladder. "A ladder that leads to the roof?"

"Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines will like that," Soos said nervously. "You're freaking me out, dude."

"We can actually go up there?" asked Mabel.

"Sure you can," Wendy replied. "Roof time! Roof time!"

"Roof time! Roof time!" Dipper and Mabel chanted as they climbed the ladder.

Once they finished climbing the ladder, Dipper and Mabel found themselves on the roof of the Mystery Shack.

"Alright, check it out," said Wendy.

The twins admired the view. Wendy then led them onto the balcony. On it was a cooler box, an umbrella, and a recliner chair.

"Did you put this up here?" asked Dipper.

"I may or may not sneak up here during work," Wendy tried to lie, but she couldn't help herself. "All the time, every day."

Wendy picked up a pinecone from a bucket, and threw it onto a target on the totem pole.

Dipper and Mabel tried it themselves. Dipper hit a nearby car, triggering its alarm.

As much as Wendy found Dipper annoying, even she could admit that was impressive.

"Not bad, kid," she complimented.

Dipper turned to Wendy. He noticed her beautiful smile and her long, gorgeous red hair flowing in the wind. If he wanted to say something right then and there, he couldn't.

He was snapped out of his trance when he heard a car pulling up.

"Hey, it's my friends," said Wendy before she turned to the twins. "You're not gonna tell Stan about this, are you?"

Dipper pretended to zip his lips and throw away the key.

Wendy leaped onto a pine tree and made it bend forward. She then jumped onto another tree and landed safely next to the car. She then got in the car before it drove away.

"Later Wendy," Dipper smiled and blushed. This didn't go unnoticed by Mabel.

"Uh-oh," she teased. "Someone's in love!"

"Yeah, right," Dipper defended. "I just think she's cool, okay? It's not like I lay awake at night, thinking about her."

That night, Dipper was trying to sleep. He couldn't, because he had one thing on his mind. Wendy.

Oh no, he thought to himself.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus.

In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 4

The Inconveniencing

The next morning, Mabel decided to throw a random dance party for no reason. She turned on some music, and she and Wendy started dancing.

Dipper couldn't help but watch Wendy. She looked so beautiful when she danced. However, he didn't wanna look like a creep, so he found a sheet of paper and pretended to write something down.

"Dipper!" Wendy called.

Dipper was frightened and tore up the paper out of impulse.

"Huh, what?" he asked.

"Aren't you gonna get in on this?"

"I… I'm not really a dancer."

"Yeah, you are," Mabel replied before turning to Wendy. "Mom used to dress him up in a lamb costume and make him do…" She put emphasis on the next words. "The lamby dance."

"Now's not the time to talk about that!" Dipper yelled.

"Lamb costume?" Wendy reacted. "Is there, like, little ears and a tail, or…"

"Dipper would prance around and sing a song about grazing," said Mabel.

That's when the clock struck six.

"Hey, quitting time," she said as she removed her nametag. "The gang's waiting for me."

Seeing his chance, Dipper took it.

"Hey, how about I join you?" he suggested.

Wendy didn't want Dipper to come with. She struggled to come up with the right words, but she eventually found them.

"I don't know," she said. "My friends can be very intense. How old are you again?"

"I'm thirteen, so, technically a teen."

Wendy could tell he was lying, but she couldn't help but find Dipper's confidence impressive. "Alright, I like your moxie. Let me get my stuff."

Once Wendy left, Mabel turned to Dipper.

"Since when were you thirteen?" she asked.

"Come on, Mabel," Dipper assured. "This is my chance to get in with the popular crowd, and Wendy or whatever."

"I knew it! You love her!"

Dipper wasn't having it. "Hey, what's that?"

Mabel fell for it easily. She turned around, allowing Dipper to flip her long hair in front of her face.

Dipper and Mabel met up with Wendy outside. Her friends were playing a game where they tried to toss a tiny ball into a fat kid's belly button. Wendy won that game.

"Nice, Wendy!" one kid shouted. "Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!"

"Hey guys," Wendy waved. "These are my pals from work, Dipper and Mabel."

"I chewed my gum to make it look like a brain," Mabel smiled, before sticking her tongue to reveal her brain-shaped gum.

"She's not one for first impressions," Dipper said, before pointing at himself. "Unlike this guy."

One kid in particular, a kid with messy black hair, a black hoodie with a blood red heart, and tight blue jeans, glared at Dipper and Mabel. After examining them both for a few seconds, he pointed at Dipper.

"I like the boy's moxie," he told the others. "But that girl's clearly not cut out to join us."

"What?" Mabel reacted.

She turned to Dipper and Wendy. They both made faces that read, "Sorry."

Mabel walked away sadly.

Dipper felt a little bad for her, but in the end, he knew this was his only chance to impress Wendy. Mabel would just get in the way.

Wendy really liked Mabel, and didn't like Dipper that much, but she knew that her friends approved of him and not her. There was no point in arguing with them. She quickly got down to business.

"Dipper, this is Lee and Nate," she introduced, pointing to two boys doing a side hug.

Lee was a tall boy with long blonde hair. He wore an orange shirt, and brown shorts.

Nate was average-sized, wearing a black shirt, blue pants, and a green and white cap. He had large tattoos on both of his arms.

"We're like brothers," the two said in unison.

"Tambry," Wendy continued, pointing at the girl on her phone.

Tambry was a girl with long, purple hair, with one pink strand on the side. She wore a blue long-sleeve shirt, a white undershirt, and purple pants.

"Hi," Tambry greeted.

"Thompson," Wendy pointed. "Who once ate a run-over waffle for fifty cents."

Thompson was the fat boy who had the balls thrown at him earlier. He had short, spiky brown hair, as well as a small, practically invisible mustache. He wore a green button-up shirt with a white rabbit face on the side of it, and brown pants.

"Don't tell him that," he cried.

"And Robbie," Wendy finished, gesturing to the goth boy who rejected Mabel. He was playing his guitar. "You can probably figure him out."

"Yeah, I'm the one who spray-painted the water tower," Robbie admitted.

"You mean the giant muffin?" Dipper asked.

"It's a big explosion."

Everyone looked at the water tower. The graffiti really did look like a muffin. The other teens laughed at that. Robbie didn't take kindly to that. He glared at Dipper. Dipper smiled nervously.

"Let's hurry it up, guys," said Wendy. "I have big plans for tonight."

Everyone got in the van. When Dipper saw Wendy driving, he tried to sit in the front seat next to her. Robbie beat him to it.

"Sorry, kid," Robbie fake-apologized. "I ride shotgun."

Dipper begrudgingly got in the very back seat, where no one could see him.

Once everyone was buckled, Wendy started the engine and drove away.

"Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!" the teens cheered as they punched the roof.

Dipper tried to join in the fun, but he was too small to reach the top.

Later that night, Stan was sitting on the couch watching TV.

"You're watching the black-and-white-period-piece-old-lady-boring movie channel," said the announcer.

Stan looked for the remote. He couldn't find it.

"Kids!" he called. "I can't find the remote, and I refuse to stand up!"

To his surprise, Mabel came in and sat down in front of him. She was upset that Dipper left her, and she wanted to take her mind off it. After her usual activities of scrapbooking and sewing sweaters didn't work, TV was her last resort.

"Stay tuned for the Friday night movie, The Duchess Approves, starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as The Duchess and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as the irascible coxswain, Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire." said the announcer.

"Mabel!" Stan begged, only to fall under deaf ears. Mabel had already made up her mind. The opening credits started to play. "No! NO!"

Dipper, Wendy, and her gang made it to their destination. They were blocked by a wired fence, but they could still seeitin all its glory. An abandoned, creepy-looking convenience store.

"There it is," said Wendy. "The condemned 'Dusk 2 Dawn'."

"What happened here?" asked Dipper. "Why did it shut down? Was it a health code violation or…"

"Try murder," Lee interrupted.

"Some folks died in there," Nate added. "The place has been haunted ever since."

"This town has such a colorful history," Dipper sarcastically remarked. "Are you guys serious about this?"

"Yeah, we're all gonna die," Wendy mocked before playfully punching Dipper. "Chill out, man. It's not as bad as it looks."

Everyone else climbed the fence. Dipper was the last one. He struggled to get his footing.

After a while, Lee lost his patience. He climbed back up.

"You know what?" he said. "Just, there you go." He picked up Dipper and dropped him. Dipper landed a lot harder than Lee intended. "Sorry dude."

"Good job throwing him off the fence, genius," Robbie complimented.

"Your mom's a genius," Lee retorted.

Robbie tried to open the door. It wouldn't budge.

"Maybe I should take a crack at it," Dipper suggested.

"Yeah, I can't do it, but a junior can?" Robbie sarcastically asked.

"Leave him alone," Wendy defended. "He's just a kid."

Dipper didn't like being called that. He was gonna prove Wendy, and everybody, wrong.

Dipper noticed a vent on the roof of the store. He found a nearby dumpster and used it to climb up to the roof.

The other teens were completely shocked at what Dipper was doing.

"What is he doing?" Tambry asked, having finally looked away from her phone.

Dipper managed to punch the vent open. It did hurt his knuckles, but it was worth it.

"Dipper, be careful!" Wendy yelled.

By then, Dipper made it into the vent.

"Who wants to bet he doesn't make it?" Robbie asked.

Right as he said that, Dipper opened the doors from the other side. He smiled and made a gesture, telling everyone to come in.

"Good call inviting this little maniac," said Lee.

"Your new name is Doctor Funtimes," said Nate.

Robbie simply glared at Dipper like he stole something from him.

"Nice work," Wendy complimented.

Dipper felt a sense of validation.

"Do you guys really think it's haunted?" asked Thompson.

"Come on, shut up!" Robbie yelled.

The group entered the store. No one noticed that the sign on the door automatically changed from open to closed.

Everyone split up to explore the store. Dipper went with Wendy. They noticed a newspaper stand. The paper at the front showed a front-page picture of a restaurant called 'Freddy Fazbear's Pizza'. The logo showed four characters, a brown bear, a blue bunny, a yellow chicken, and a red fox. The headline read…

Five children now reported missing. Suspect convicted.

"You know, this sounds like it'd make a great video game," Wendy remarked.

"Or book series," Dipper added.

"No, but you know what might work?"

"A movie?" the two said in unison.

"That sounds perfect," Dipper said. "So long as they don't oversaturate."

The two explored a little more. Wendy found some light switches.

"Guys, check this out!" she called. "Do you think these still work?"

Wendy flipped the switches.

All the lights turned on. Everyone smiled in amazement.

"Jackpot!" said Dipper. "So, what do we do now?"

"Anything we want," Wendy replied.

First, the group split into two teams. Dipper, Wendy, and Robbie were on one team. Tambry, Lee, Nate, and Thompson were on the other.

Both teams grabbed as much food as they could and threw them at each other.

Wendy lifted Dipper onto her shoulders so he could reach over the fence and hit a few enemies. He got hit back, but it was worth it.

Later, Lee grabbed some mints and put them in a bottle of coca cola. The mints caused the coke to launch out of the bottle.

Dipper came across a shelf full of this stuff called 'Smile Dip'.

"Wait, isn't this banned in America?" he asked. "And for good reason. God, I'm so glad Mabel isn't here."

He thought back to one infamous night, two years ago.

Flashback

Dipper had been ordered by his parents to check on Mabel. They called her for dinner, but she wasn't responding.

When Dipper entered his sister's room, horror awaited.

Mabel was laying on her bed. Multiple empty bags of smile dip surrounded her. Her lips and hair were covered in the dip, and her face looked very messed up.

"Maybe I had too much," she groaned before turning to Dipper. "What do you think?"

"You definitely had too much," Dipper replied as he reached out his hand to help her up.

However, Mabel grabbed Dipper's arm and started biting it like it was made of candy. It was very painful. It's like she didn't know how aggressive she was.

End of Flashback

After reliving that painful experience, Dipper sat on top of a high shelf, eating ice cream with Wendy.

"Hey, come here man, we got it ready!" Nate called Thompson.

"Whatever it is, I'll do it!" Thompson replied as he ran over to his friends.

"Thompson!" Wendy cheered before turning to Dipper. She had to admit that this was the most fun she's ever had, and it was all thanks to him. "Dipper, this night is legendary."

"Really?" asked Dipper.

"Yeah. Look around you. The guys are bonding." Wendy gestured to Lee and Nate, who were pouring ice in Thompson's pants. "I've never even seen Tambry look up from her phone this long." Tambry looked away from her phone for a very split second. "You know, Dipper. I wasn't sure if you could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age."

"Yes, yes I am." Dipper tried to put ice cream in his mouth without looking at it, but he ended up hitting his cheek.

"Hey, we need more ice!" Lee shouted.

"On it!" Dipper said as he jumped off the shelf.

Dipper went to the freezer to get another ice bag. Once he opened the freezer, the most horrifying thing appeared in front of him.

It was a large floating brain with multiple stems coming out of it, as well as two eyes and a jaw. The eyes stared at Dipper in the most unsettling way.

Dipper screamed like a toddler and slammed the door shut. He then took a breath, and opened the door again. This time, the monster was gone.

"What was that?" came Lee's voice. "I thought I heard someone screaming back there. You freaking out, kid?"

"No, I'm cool," Dipper lied. He then noticed a nearby arcade machine. "Hey look, Dance Dance Revolution. The game that tricks people into exercising."

Everyone ran to play the game.

Thompson was the first to play, and he was doing horrible. Dipper tried to pay attention, but he couldn't stop thinking of the monster he saw.

After a while, he noticed that his and everyone else's reflections on the window looked like skeletons. He rubbed his eyes, and looked at the window again. Their reflections were back to normal.

Dipper ran to the phone and tried to call Stan. There was no answer.

Back at the Mystery Shack, Mabel and Stan were continuing to watch 'The Duchess Approves'. Stan was just as invested in it as Mabel was. They both shared an ice cream as they enjoyed the movie.

"I'm not afraid anymore, Mother," the duchess said to her mother.

"Duchess, I forbid you," said the mother.

"I may be a duchess, but I'm also a woman." The duchess threw off her hat to let her long hair flow in the wind.

"Yes!" Mabel cheered. "In your face, Elizabeth!" She then noticed Stan crying. "Grunkle Stan, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Stan assured. "It's just… it's just like my life, in a way."

Back at the store, Robbie was using a coin to scrape off the tags of a lottery ticket to reveal the numbers. He dropped the coin and turned to pick it up. That's when he noticed something shocking.

"Guys, you gotta come see this!" he called.

Everyone else arrived to see what it was. It was two markings of what looked like humans. They were positioned to look like dead bodies.

"I dare you two to lay in it," Robbie told Lee and Nate.

"Alright," they said nervously. "Look, we're dead bodies."

They were about to step on the markings, but Dipper got worried.

"Wait, how about we don't do this?" he suggested.

"This kid's scared," Robbie teased.

"No, it's just, why tempt fate? I mean, what if this place really is… haunted?"

The other teens didn't like hearing that, not even Wendy.

"Take it down a notch, Captain Buzzkill," said Robbie.

"I thought I was Doctor Funtimes," said Dipper.

"Well, you're acting like a Captain Buzzkill now."

The other teens nodded. Wendy did feel a little sad, but the majority have already spoken.

"Yeah, a little bit," she said.

"Status update: trapped in an abandoned store with an insane nine-year-old," Tambry typed on her phone.

That was the last straw for Dipper.

"I'm not nine!" he snapped. "I'm thirteen! Technically a teen!"

To prove his point, Dipper laid on one of the markings.

The markings started to glow. Dipper started to worry he made a huge mistake. The lights went out. Tambry vanished into thin air.

Dipper picked up the phone and read what it said aloud. "Status update: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Tambry then appeared on the nearby TV screen. She screamed and banged on the glass. Everyone else screamed at the site.

"Tambry, can you hear us?" Wendy called.

Tambry didn't say anything. It's like she couldn't hear a word.

"What do we do?" asked Lee.

"We get out of here!" Robbie replied. "Thompson, it's time to go!"

"Just a minute!" said Thompson. "I almost got the high score!"

Right as he said that, he disappeared and reappeared inside the machine. A bunch of arrows came down on him. He tried to dodge, but they all got him.

"Forget him, let's go!" Robbie yelled. He tried to open the door. It wouldn't budge. "It's locked!" He tried to throw the cash register to break the glass. It just disappeared. "GOD DAMMIT!"

"Wait," Dipper said as he read the journal. "Whatever's doing this has to have some kind of reason. Maybe if we find out what it is, they'll let us out."

"Yeah, that makes sense," Robbie said sarcastically.

"Maybe he has a point," Wendy defended.

"Yeah, maybe the ghost will want to talk about its feelings," Lee mocked.

Right after he said that, he started to float off the ground. He then disappeared and reappeared on a cereal box.

"Lee!" Nate screamed. "Alright, kid! I'm with you a hundred percent!"

Right as he said that, two ghosts in the form of an elderly man and woman appeared behind him. The male had a name tag that said, Pa. The female had a tag that said, Ma.

"Welcome!" they said. "Welcome to your graves, young trespassers!"

"We're sorry for hanging out in your store!" Wendy apologized. "If you let us out, we won't come here again!"

"Okay, you're free to go," Pa said before opening the door. "But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it's crazy, but you gotta try these dogs."

No one was buying it for one second. They tried to run. The doors closed themselves.

"I was kidding about the hot dog sales!" Pa shouted.

"Let us out of here, right now!" Nate demanded.

"I don't like your tone, young man." The ghosts lifted Nate into the air, before transforming him into a hot dog and placing him on the vendor. "It begins!" He then lifted everyone else into the air, like they turned off the room's gravity. "Welcome to your home for all eternity!"

"Dipper, what do we do?" Wendy asked.

Dipper noticed the slushie machine flying towards Wendy.

"Duck!" he shouted.

They both ducked before the machine could get them. They then noticed a cabinet and flew into it.

"What do they want from us?" Wendy asked after they caught their breaths.

"Revenge?" Dipper guessed.

"What did we do wrong?"

"Alright, let's try to find a pattern. Why was each person taken? Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic, it doesn't make any sense."

"Yeah, they're all just normal teenage things."

Dipper started to notice the pattern. "Say that again?"

"'That again'."

"No, the other thing."

"'No, the other thing'."

"No, the thing you said before when you…" Dipper ran out of patience. He had to cut to the chase. "Never mind. I have an idea. Stay here until I get back."

Dipper flew out of the cabinet, leaving behind a befuddled Wendy.

"Dipper, what are you doing?" she asked.

Dipper ignored Wendy and flew towards the ghosts, avoiding as many objects as he could.

"Hey ghosts!" he shouted. "I'm not a teenager!"

The gravity returned. Everything fell to the ground. The ghosts' scary faces turned into normal ones.

"Well, why didn't you say so?" Pa asked. "How old did you say you were?"

Dipper knew he had to expose himself in front of Wendy, but what choice did he have? "I'm twelve. Not a teen."

"When we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store," said Ma. "Always sassafrassing customers with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants, so we decided to ban them, but they retaliated with this newfangled rap music. The lyrics were so hateful. It was so shocking we were stricken down with double heart attacks. That's why we hate teenagers so much. Don't we honey?"

The two ghosts nuzzled each other.

"But they're my friends," said Dipper. "Is there anything I can do to help them?"

"There is one thing," Pa replied. "Do you know any funny little dances?"

"Is there anything else I can do?"

"NO!" To prove his point, the ghost glowed orange and took the same form Dipper saw in the freezer earlier.

"Okay, okay! Well, I do know… the lamby-lamby dance, but I can't do it without a lamb costume." The ghosts snapped their fingers. Dipper's usual outfit turned into a lamb costume. "Oh, and there it is."

Dipper took a breath. He braced himself.

Play "The Lamby-Lamby Dance" from Gravity Falls

Dipper:

Well, who wants a lamby, lamby, lamby?

I do, I do

So go up and greet your mammy, mammy, mammy

Hi there, hi there

Wendy smiled. This was the cutest thing she ever saw.

So march, march, march around the daisies

Don't, don't, don't forget about the baby

End "The Lamby-Lamby Dance"

That was some fine girly dancing, boy," said Pa. "Your friends are free."

The doors opened, and the ghosts disappeared.

Everything returned to normal. Everyone was released from whatever prison the ghosts trapped them in.

"What happened?" they all wondered.

"You won't believe it," said Wendy. "The ghosts appeared, and Dipper had to…" Wendy stopped herself. She knew Dipper didn't want her mentioning it. Back then, she wouldn't have cared, but she grew to like Dipper over the course of this… adventure, so for his sake, she came up with a lie. "Uh… Dipper grabbed a bat and started beating ghosts down left and right, then the ghosts got all scared and ran away like a couple of little girls. It was insane."

Wendy then turned to Dipper and pretended to zip her lips and throw away the key.

Outside, the rest of the teens got in the van and fell asleep.

"That was traumatizing," Wendy remarked. "I'm gonna stare at a wall and rethink everything. Hey Dipper, next time, let's stay at the Mystery Shack, okay?"

"Next time?" Dipper asked. "Yeah, let's do that." He then noticed that Robbie was sitting in the backseat. "Hey, can I take the shotgun?"

Wendy thought about it for a second, then decided, "Sure."

Dipper got in the front seat, Wendy got in the driver's seat, and they drove away from the store.

Mabel and Stan finally reached the end of the movie.

"Ah, the wedding," said Stan. "I've waited so long for this. Look at her in that dress."

In the movie, the door burst open.

"Count Lionel?" asked Stan.

"I've come to reclaim my bride," said Count Lionel.

"You had your chance at the cotillion, you!" Mabel shouted.

"You had your chance at the cotillion, you!" said another character on screen.

"That's what she just said!" Stan screamed.

Dipper and Wendy just returned from their adventure. They were about to head inside when they saw the TV fly out of the window.

Stan and Mabel peaked their heads outside and noticed Dipper and Wendy.

"We couldn't find the remote," Stan half-lied.

Chapter 5: Dipper vs. Manliness

Chapter Text

One day, Dipper and Mabel approached Stan, who was working at the cash register.

"Grunkle Stan, can we go to the diner?" Mabel asked. "We're huuuungry."

"Huuuungry," Dipper added for dramatic flair.

The two twins started hitting their stomachs together playfully.

"Sure," Stan replied. "As soon as this yahoo makes up his mind."

"Do you have this in another animal?" asked a nearby customer as they pointed towards the 'fur trout', a trout with fur on its body.

"I'm fine locking him inside if you are," Stan decided.

The twins nodded.

The three left the shack, adding a wooden board to keep the customer from leaving. They then got in the car and drove away.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus.

In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 5

Dipper vs. Manliness

The Pines family made it to Greasy's Diner. An employee approached them. She was a woman with long blue hair and a missing eye. She was wearing a purple dress with a white apron over it.

"Lazy Susan," Stan greeted in a flirty tone. "Where were you yesterday?"

"I was hit by a bus," the waitress, Susan, replied.

Stan laughed. "Hilarious."

"Thank you." Susan made the best fake laugh she could.

"You do split plates, right?"

"Maybe."

"Great. We'll all split one-fourth of the number seven, plus a free salad dressing for the lady and a small plate of ketchup for the boy."

"But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes," Mabel whined.

"What am I, made of money?" Stan asked. Right as he said that, a dollar bill leaked out of his sleeve. He forced it back in. "Tap, tap."

Dipper felt a bit guilty. He turned and noticed a game near the entrance.

'TEST YOUR MANLINESS

WIN GAME FOR FREE PANCAKES!'

"Don't worry," Dipper assured. "The pancakes are on me. I'm gonna win some free pancakes by beating that manliness tester."

Stan and Mabel looked at each other before laughing their asses off.

"What's so funny?" Dipper asked.

"No offense, Dipper," Mabel replied. "But you're not exactly Manly Mannington."

"Yeah," Stan added. "In case you haven't noticed, you're weird. You're a weirdo. You don't fit in and you don't want to fit in." He pointed at Dipper's hat. "Do you ever walk around without that stupid hat on? That's weird."

"My hat isn't stupid!" Dipper defended before pointing at Stan's fez. "Well, not as stupid as yours."

"You take that back!" Stan yelled. "At least I don't sing any songs from that girly Swedish pop sensation, ABBA."

Flashback

Stan was watching the TV and minding his own business. His fun was interrupted when he heard Dipper singing loud and proud.

"See that girl, watch that scene, digging the dancing queen!" Dipper sang very off key.

"Dipper, I can hear you!" Stan called. "The walls are surprisingly thin!"

"You're surprisingly thin!"

End of Flashback

"What does that have to do with anything?" Dipper asked. "I'm plenty masculine! You see this chest hair?" Dipper pulled down his shirt to reveal his completely smooth, hairless chest. "Oh man." Stan and Mabel continued to laugh. Dipper wasn't having it. "Fine, family of little faith. Get ready to eat your words, and a plate of delicious pancakes."

Dipper stood up. He rolled up his sleeves. He walked over to the machine. He grabbed the lever. He started to count to three in his head.

"Stop stalling!" a patron yelled.

That knocked Dipper off guard. He pulled the lever too early, and he didn't pull hard enough.

As a result, he landed on 'wimp'. The machine printed out a paper that read, 'Cutie Patootie'.

Right afterwards, the town lumberjack approached the machine and moved the lever with the tip of his finger. The machine shattered because of the strength. This led to pancakes from the stand being launched onto everyone's plates.

"Yes, pancakes for everyone!" the lumberjack shouted.

Everyone in the diner cheered, except for Dipper. He felt like his victory was stolen. It didn't help that Stan and Mabel were continuing to laugh at him.

"I need to get chest hair, fast," he told himself.

He ran for the door. He tripped on a crack on the floor and fell to the ground. It hurt, but he fought the pain and got back up. He then left the diner.

Dipper walked down the streets of downtown. After walking for a while, he got hit by a hard stream of water.

He turned around to see a broken fire hydrant spraying water everywhere. The sheriff and deputy were inspecting it.

"Another broken fire hydrant," the sheriff shook his head.

"Do you want to get naked and run around in the water?" asked the deputy.

Right as he asked that, the sheriff took off his shirt to reveal his chest hair and abs. "Stop reading my mind, Durland."

Dipper quickly backed away before he could witness the traumatizing site of two naked cops running around a broken hydrant.

He then ran into a woman.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm looking for the mailman."

"Are you saying I'm not male?" Dipper reacted. "Is that what you're getting at?"

A few tears leaked out. The woman noticed this. "Are you crying?"

Dipper ran into the woods to avoid being seen in such a vulnerable state.

In the woods, Dipper tried to bench press a tree branch. He couldn't even get to five before he stopped.

He then looked at a bag that said, 'Real Man Jerky'. The man on the bag pointed at Dipper and said, "You're inadequate!"

"You're right," he said to himself. "I need some help."

That's when the ground started to shake. Multiple woodland creatures ran in the opposite direction.

Dipper noticed a tree falling. He grabbed his hat before it could be crushed. He then looked up. In front of him was a large, buff monster. He couldn't make out what it was, but he knew it was coming for him.

He let out a loud, high scream. He then realized he wasn't being manly, so he did his best to do a manly roar. That didn't work the way he hoped it would.

The creature got closer. Dipper could finally make out some details. The long beard, the buff muscles, the sixteen-pack abs. It stretched out its arms and let out a roar…

Then it grabbed a nearby dear and used his antlers as a backscratcher.

The monster then turned towards Dipper.

"Please don't eat me!" Dipper begged. "I'm all elbows and gristle!"

"YOU…" the creature pointed at Dipper. "Gonna finish that?"

It took Dipper a second to realize what was happening. "No."

He tossed the bag to the creature. It scarfed down the jerky.

"I can't believe it," Dipper remarked. "Part animal, part human. Are you some kind of minotaur?"

"I'm a manotaur!" the creature corrected. "Half man, half… half taur!"

"So did I, like, summon you, or…"

"The smell of jerky summoned me!" The manotaur punched a nearby tree, cutting it down. Then, he smashed a rock against his head. It shattered on impact. It then started to sniff the air, then Dipper. He sniffed so aggressively that it blew Dipper's hat off his head. "I smell… emotional issues."

Dipper put his hat back on.

"I got problems, manotaur," he admitted. "My uncle called me a wimp, and I flunked this manly game thing. You know, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me some pointers?"

The manotaur thought for a second before making his decision. "Alright. Climb on my back."

On the manotaur's back was long, sweaty, fly-infested hair. Dipper was reluctant, but he knew this was his only option.

The ride wasn't very pleasant. There were multiple branches and nests that Dipper had to avoid, all the while having to keep a good grip on the manotaur's back.

After a while, the manotaur leaped into the air and flew right through a hard surface.

Dipper closed his eyes. He couldn't watch.

Dipper felt the manotaur land. When he opened his eyes, he found himself in a cave filled with other manotaurs.

One was doing push-ups.

A couple were arm-wrestling.

A few were showing off their biceps.

"The gnomes live in the trees," the one with Dipper said. "The mer-people live in the water, 'cause they're losers. But we manotaurs crash in the man cave!" He hit the gong to get the others' attention. "Beasts, I have brought you, a hairless child!" Dipper nervously waved. The manotaur made introductions. "This is Pubitaur, Testosteraur, Pituitar, and I'm Chutzpaur. And you are?"

"I'm Dipper," Dipper introduced himself, only to be booed by the crowd. "The, uh, destructor? Dipper the Destructor."

Chutzpaur hits the gong once more. "Dipper the Destructor wants us to teach him the secrets to our manliness!"

"I need your help." Dipper showed his hairless chest.

The manotaurs huddled.

"I don't like him," Pubitaur said. "He's human."

"I don't like your face," said Testosteraur.

They all started fighting each other. Dipper did his best to hide his embarrassment. "I like these guys."

After a lot of punching, the manotaurs made their decision. "We have decided to deny your request to learn our manly secrets."

"Denied?" Dipper asked, shocked. He then got his composure and tried to act tough. "Okay, that's fine with me. Obviously you guys think it would be too hard to train me. Maybe, you're not man enough to try."

"Not man enough?" one manotaur yelled. "I have three Y chromosomes, six Adam's apples, pecs on my abs, and fists for nipples!" He showcased all of those things.

"Seems to me you're too scared to teach me how to be a man. Hey, do you guys hear that? It sounds like…" Dipper started imitating a chicken. "That's weird. That sounds like a bunch of chickens."

The manotaurs gasped before huddling again.

"He's using some sort of brain magic," Testosteraur said.

The manotaurs pulled out of their huddle.

"After a second round of deliberation," said Putitaur. "We have decided to help you become a man."

"Man! Man! Man!" the manotaurs cheered.

"Thanks," Dipper thanked. "Whatever you want me to do, I won't let you down."

The manotaurs led Dipper to the top of the mountain.

"Being a man is about conquering your fears," said Chutzpaur. "For your first task, you must plunge your fist into the pain hole."

"Pain hole, schmain hole," said Pituitaur as he put his hand in the hole. He then started to scream in pain.

"Is this really necessary?" Dipper asked, starting to question himself.

"You wanna be a man, do you?" asked Chutzpaur.

That was all Dipper needed to go along with it. He put his hand in the hole, and felt the most painful thing in the world. He screamed louder than ever.

Play "Training Mix" from Gravity Falls

The next thing Dipper had to do was pull a party wagon. He could only move it a single inch.

When the tiger roars, and the mountain cries

Later, Chutzpaur pulled out some of his hair, sprayed some glue onto Dipper's chest, and attached his hair onto Dipper. It fell off not long after.

You gotta dream the dream, you gotta win the prize

Then, Dipper tried to cross a stream by jumping off a few crocodile heads.

You gotta got the miles, you gotta face the trials

Then, the manotaurs held Dipper's arms out and his eyes open wide.

Never lose sight of the sites you see

You gotta believe your beliefs are real

Then, a manotaur destroyed a fire hydrant, causing water to spray out. He drank some water from the fountain, and gestured for Dipper to do the same.

Dipper tried to drink the water, but it sprayed so aggressively that it sent him flying.

Now you're drinking from a fire hydrant

Then, Dipper jumped off a cliff.

Now you're jumping off a crazy gorge

Afterwards, Dipper and some manotaurs did something weird with their stomachs.

I don't really know what's happening in this part

Finally, Dipper jumped off another cliff. He jumped all the way across the canyon. It almost felt like he was flying.

"WOO!" he shouted in excitement.

Your heart's on fire and the fire is in your heart

End "Training Mix"

With the training montage over, Dipper was relaxing in a hot spring with some manotaurs.

"I don't know about you, but I definitely felt some growth here," Dipper admitted.

"I have a growth," one manotaur, Glark, pointed at a large sore on his head.

"Glark, you are hilarious today. It's just you took me under your wing and have been so supportive."

"Stop," Chutzpaur said as he tried to hide a blush.

"No, you know what? You really have been. I feel like I'm finally becoming a man here."

"Not yet, Destructor. One final task remains. The deadliest trial of all."

"I survived forty-nine terrifying experiences today alone. Bring it on!"

After drying up, the manotaurs gave Dipper multiple tattoos. They included the words 'RAD DUDE' and 'TOO COOL' on his arms, a flaming cross on his stomach, and a winged skull on his chest.

"Behold our leader, leaderaur!" Chutzpaur introduced.

An older manotaur came in.

"Is he the oldest or wisest?" Dipper asked, right before the old one got eaten.

"No, he's just the offering," said Chutzpaur. "That is Leaderaur."

In front of Dipper was a large, dark, demon-looking manotaur.

"You wish to be a man?" he asked.

Dipper growled and punched his chest like a gorilla.

"Then you must do heroic act," said Leaderaur. "Go to highest mountain." He stuck his hand in his chest and cried in pain. Dipper did his best to avoid screaming or puking. Leaderaur pulled out a spear with a bone for a handle. "And bring back head of… the multi-bear."

Leaderaur dropped the spear in front of Dipper.

"Multi-bear?" Dipper asked. "Who's that? Some kind of bear?"

"He's our sworn enemy," Leaderaur replied. "Conquer him and your mansformation will be complete."

"Conquer? I don't know."

Chutzpaur showed up with a tape in his hand. "Destructor, is this yours?"

Dipper quickly grabbed it, recognizing it as the ABBA tape. "No. It's a friend's, not mine." He then noticed people whispering. He knew they weren't saying anything good. In retaliation, he picked up the spear. "I shall conquer the multi-bear!"

Dipper left the cave to find the multi-bear.

He climbed a tree to get a look at his surroundings.

He drank water from a stream to know where he was going.

After hours of hiking and climbing, he reached the multi-bear's hideout.

"I'm coming for you, multi-bear!" he declared.

Dipper entered the cave. He looked around and found multiple bones scattered throughout.

"What even is a multi-bear?" he wondered.

To answer his question, the multi-bear revealed itself. It was an amalgamation of multiple bears. The heads roared.

"Bear heads, silence!" the top head ordered, silencing them all. "Child, why have you come here?"

"Multi-bear, I seek your head!" Dipper yelled as he pointed his spear. "Or one of them. How many are there? Six, seven?"

"This is foolish! Leave now or die!"

Dipper pointed his spear.

The bear charged. Dipper climbed the wall to avoid it. He then jumped down to the floor and let out the best roar he could.

The bear then launched a whole pile of bones in Dipper's direction. He dodged all of them and took cover.

When the time was right, Dipper revealed himself. One of the heads tried to bite him. He jumped in the air and landed on the head. He then climbed up to the top of the creature. He then used his spear to suffocate it. It only took a few seconds for the multi-headed monster to fall.

Dipper wasn't done yet. A real man shows no mercy after all. He pointed his spear, ready to finish the job.

"Very well, warrior," said the head. "But will you grant a magical beast one last request?"

Dipper hesitated. "Okay."

"I wish to die listening to my favorite song." Dipper turned to the nearby radio. "The tape is already inside. Just press…"

Dipper already pressed play. The music started to play. It sounded… familiar.

"You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life…"

"You listen to Swedish pop group, ABBA?" Dipper asked. "I love ABBA."

"I thought it was just me. The manotaurs made fun of me because I know all the words to the song 'Dancing Queen'."

"You mean, 'See that girl…'"

"'Watch that scene…'"

"Digging the dancing queen," the two sang together.

Play "Dancing Queen" by ABBA

Dipper:

Friday night and the lights are low

Looking out for a place to go

Where they play the right music, getting in the swing

You come to look for a king

Multi-bear:

Anybody could be that guy

Night is young and the music's high

With a bit of rock music, everything is fine

You're in the mood for a dance

Both:

And when you get the chance

You are the dancing queen

Young and sweet

Only seventeen

Dancing queen

Feel the beat

From the tambourine, oh yeah

You can dance, you can jive

Having the time of your life

Ooh

See that girl

Watch that scene

Digging the dancing queen

You can dance, you can jive

Having the time of your life

Ooh

See that girl

The multi-bear pretended to play guitar.

Watch that scene

Dipper joined in, using his spear as the guitar.

Digging the dancing queen

End "Dancing Queen"

"This is crazy!" Dipper shouted. "I never thought someone would understand me!" He then snapped back to reality. "Oh yeah, I'm supposed to kill you or I'll never be a man."

"I accept my fate," the multi-bear assured.

"Really?"

"It's for the best."

Dipper readied his spear. He plunged it down.

Dipper hit his spear against the ground, causing it to crack.

"I'm not gonna do it!" he declared.

"You were told the price of manhood was the multi-bear's head!" Leaderaur reminded.

"Listen up, all of you! You keep telling me that being a man is doing all these crazy tasks and being aggro all the time, but I'm starting to think that stuff's malarkey. You heard me. Maybe I don't have muscles or hair on my chest, and sometimes when a girly pop song plays on the radio, I leave it on, because dammit, top forty hits are in the top forty for a reason, they're catchy! The multi-bear is a nice guy, and you're a bunch of dicks if you want me to cut his head off!"

Leaderaur stood up and punched the ground. "Kill the multi-bear or never be a man!"

"Then I guess I'll never be a man!"

The manotaurs booed and called Dipper weak. They then walked away to build something and knock it down.

Dipper sighed before leaving the cave.

Dipper made it back to the Mystery Shack. He was about to open the door when…

"Dipper!" came Mabel's voice.

Dipper didn't have time to react before Mabel tackled him into a hug.

"Hi, Mabel," Dipper smiled, returning the hug.

"Dipper, I'm sorry about how I treated you! I never meant to hurt you, but then you left, and didn't come back, and I worried that…"

"Mabel, it's fine. I'm fine."

Mabel could hear the melancholy in Dipper's voice. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Good," came Stan's voice. He pulled Mabel off of Dipper, before helping him up.

"It's just these half-man, half-bull humanoids were hanging out with me," Dipper explained.

"Here we go."

"But then they wanted me to do this tough, horrible thing, but it wasn't right, so I said no."

"You were your own man and you stood up for yourself. You did the right thing even though no one agreed with you. It sounds manly to me, but what do I know?"

Mabel then looked down towards Dipper's chest. "Wait a minute. Do my eyes deceive me? You have a chest hair."

Dipper opened his shirt to reveal he did, in fact, have a chest hair. "I do! This is amazing! Take that man tester! Take that manotaurs! This guy has chest hair!"

Mabel then plucked it off. "Scrapbookortunity."

"Don't worry kid," Stan assured. "If you're like me, there's more where that came from."

Stan opened his chest to reveal a lot more chest hair.

"Stan, that's gross," Dipper scolded. The three then laughed, before Dipper stopped. "But seriously, that's disgusting."

Chapter 6: Double Dipper

Chapter Text

Dipper and Mabel were bored out of their minds.

Wendy was blowing balloons.

Soos was hanging decorations.

Stan was monitoring everything.

To lighten the mood, Dipper decided to play a little pretend.

"Oh no," he acted. "I don't feel so good."

He sprayed Mabel with silly string, pretending to throw up.

"Oh, Grunkle Stan, what did you feed us?" Mabel played along.

She sprayed Dipper with her own silly string, while also pretending to throw up.

Stan found this really annoying. He pinched his nose as he asked himself,Why did I agree to this?

Wendy approached the twins with a stern look on her face.

"Guys, stop!" she yelled. "Something terrible happened!"

The twins stopped what they were doing. They wanted to know what Wendy was warning them about. They didn't think to keep a grip on their silly strings.

This was what Wendy wanted. She took the cans and sprayed the twins with the strings, while making her own barfing sounds.

Stan had enough. He quickly swiped the cans from Wendy.

"Alright, alright," he said. "Party supplies are now off-limits."

"Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again?" Soos asked as he hung a banner.

"Nobody's," Stan replied. "I thought this party would be a perfect way to get kids to spend money at the shack."

"Nice."

"The young people at this town want fun, I'll show them fun."

"Maybe comments like that are why kids don't come here," Dipper suggested as he poured a cup of Diet Coke.

Stan took the bottle and shut it.

"How about you make yourself useful and copy these flyers?" he requested.

Dipper read the flyer.

Part at the Mystery Shack

Kids and Teenagers Welcome

Free?

"Oh boy, a trip to the copier store," Mabel cheered.

"Calendars, mugs, T-shirts, and more, they got it all at the copier store," Soos added. "That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way."

"Save the trouble," Stan assured. "You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up, good as new."

The twins entered the office. They found the copier. It looked like it's seen better days.

"Does this thing even work?" Dipper wondered.

He accidentally put his arm against the scanner. The scanner activated and scanned his arm.

The copier printed out a sheet of paper with Dipper's arm on it.

"It works," Mabel smiled.

That's when the arm sprang to life. It crawled towards the twins.

"Stay back!" Dipper shouted as he poured his cup of soda in the arm's direction.

The liquids and acids of the soda melted the arm completely.

"Oh my god," Dipper said. "That copier can copy human beings."

The twins looked at what was left of the paper arm in complete horror.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus.

In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 6

Double Dipper

"Alright, party people," said Stan. "Let's talk business. Soos, because you work for free, and you begged, I'm letting you be DJ."

"You won't regret it, Mr. Pines," Soos saluted. "I got this book to teach me how to DJ r-r-right."

Stan turned to Wendy. "Wendy, you and Mabel are working the ticket stand."

"But this party's my chance to make new friends," Mabel whined.

"I could work with Wendy," Dipper suggested.

"You realize if you do, you gotta commit to staying at the ticket stand with Wendy," Stan warned. "No getting out of it. Just the two of you, alone, all night."

Stan didn't need to say that twice. Dipper took one look at Wendy and felt all warm inside.

"I promise," he assured.

Later, Dipper was in his room getting ready for what might as well be his first date. When he was about to put deodorant on his armpits, he noticed Mabel standing right next to him. This startled him.

"Mabel, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"'I can work the counter with you, Wendy,'" Mabel imitated before making kissing noises.

"Laugh all you want, but I have a plan to make sure my night with Wendy goes perfectly."

"Plan? You're not making one of those over-complicated lists, are you?"

Dipper took a small sheet of paper out of his pocket… then unfurled it into a fifteen-inch sheet of paper.

"Step one," he read. "Getting to know each other with playful banter."

"That sounds like a dumb idea for poop-heads," Mabel rolled her eyes.

"This isn't banter. This is what I want to avoid. The final step is to ask her to dance."

Dipper started to fantasize a reality where his plan succeeded.

He and Wendy were on the floor, dancing together.

"Dipper, I'm so glad you decided to work the ticket stand with me," Wendy said. "You're so organized. Show me that checklist again?"

Dipper did as he was told. Wendy let out a happy sigh.

Dipper then leaned forward. He puckered his lips.

"DIPPER!" Mabel snapped.

That snapped Dipper back to reality.

"Where was I?" he asked himself, as if he didn't just zone out. "Right. If I follow steps one through eleven, nothing can get in my way."

"Dipper, you're the one getting in your way," said Mabel. "Why not just walk up and talk to her like a normal person?"

"Step nine, sister." Dipper pointed to step nine, which read, 'Walk up and talk to her like a normal person.'

Mabel rolled her eyes.

That night, the party just got started.

A few teens were dancing on the floor.

Soos was struggling with the DJ equipment.

Mabel watched everything from the sidelines. Stan approached her.

"Can your uncle throw a party or what?" he asked. "And if anyone wants to leave, I'm charging an exit fee of fifteen bucks."

Lee and Nate were looking at how much they had.

"I only have thirteen," said Nate. "We're trapped!"

They looked out the window and saw Wendy working at the ticket booth. They banged on the window to get her attention, to no avail.

So far, things weren't going according to plan. Dipper and Wendy were handing out tickets and collecting money from the unlucky tourists.

Dipper tried to start up some banter. He couldn't muster the courage.

Come on, Dipper, say something,he thought to himself. He then blurted the first thing that came to mind. "Here's a casual question. What's your favorite snack food?"

"I can't pick one," Wendy replied.

"Great, me neither!" Dipper started to fear that it came out wrong. He sweat bullets. "I mean…"

Dipper stuffed a bunch of popcorn in his mouth before he could say something stupider. Wendy got concerned.

"Slow down, Dipper," she said.

Back inside, Mabel was working it on the dance floor. After a while, she sat down to rest.

"Thirsty?" asked a voice.

Mabel noticed someone handing a water bottle. She took it, no questions asked.

"Yeah, I…" she replied before noticing the guy sitting next to her.

He was a caucasian boy with short brown hair. He wore a blue shooting star shirt, and red shorts.

There was something familiar about this guy, but Mabel couldn't put her finger on it.

"Hi, I'm Mabel," she greeted. "Say, have we met before?"

"No, this is our first meeting," the boy replied, blushing brightly. They did, in fact, meet before, but they never actually spoke to each other until this moment. The boy tried to change the subject. "My name's Evan."

That's when a lizard appeared on his shoulder. Mabel saw it and thought it was cute.

"Aww, you have a lizard on you," she smiled.

Evan noticed the lizard. He didn't like the feeling of it touching his shoulder. He picked up the lizard, turned to the other girl next to him, and gave the lizard to her.

"Grenda, I thought I told you to keep him off of me," he scolded.

Grenda was a caucasian girl that was a bit bigger than other girls her age. She had long, brown hair in a ponytail. She also had a mole on her right cheek. She wore a pink t-shirt with the word, 'COOL' on it, and purple shorts.

"It's not my fault that Gekko likes you," Grenda defended in a deep voice.

"Yeah, and who could blame the little guy?" asked a second girl.

The second girl had long, black hair straightened out. She wore glasses and earrings. She wore a green sweater and a black skirt. She also had forks taped to her fingers.

"Mabel, these are my friends," Evan introduced. He gestured to Grenda first. "Grenda, the one with the lizard and the deep voice."

"Hey!" Grenda yelled, offended.

Evan ignored that and gestured to the second girl. "And Candy, the one with the forks taped to her fingers."

Candy waved, showing the forks.

"Why do you have forks taped to your fingers?" Mabel asked.

Candy used the forks to flawlessly grab a few pieces of popcorn from Grenda's bowl.

"Improvement of human being," she answered.

Grenda offered a piece of popcorn to her lizard. The lizard caught it with his tongue. Grenda, Candy, and Evan giggled.

"I found my people," Mabel smiled.

"Remember, dudes," Soos said while reading his DJ book. "Whoever, um, party hearties, gets the party crown. Most applause at the end of the night wins."

A girl with long blonde hair wearing excessive makeup and clothing approached Soos.

"Party crown?" she said. "I'll take that. Thank you very much."

"Who's that?" asked Mabel.

"That's Pacifica Northwest," Candy replied. "The most popular girl in school."

"I always feel awful about myself around her," Grenda mentioned.

"She's a complete bi…" Evan was about to add.

Mabel covered his mouth. "Don't. I really don't need another Dipper."

Evan removed Mabel's hand from his mouth. "Another who?"

"I can't just give you the crown," Soos told Pacifica. "It's sort of a competition thing."

"Honestly, who's gonna compete against me?" Pacifica asked before gesturing to Candy, Grenda, and Evan. "Fork girl? Lizard lady? Starboy?"

"Hold me, Candy," Grenda hugged Candy.

Evan patted the girls' backs to comfort them.

Seeing her new friends' distress, Mabel decided to do something.

"I'll compete," she told Soos before turning to Pacifica. "I'm Mabel."

"That sounds like an old lady name," Pacifica teased.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"May the better partier win."

Pacifica and her two backups backed into the darkness.

"It was nice meeting you!" Mabel shouted. She then turned to her friends and whispered. "That girl is going down."

Back at the ticket booth, Wendy noticed the partiers having a great time on the dance floor.

"I gotta get in there," she said before turning to Dipper. "Will you cover for me?"

Before Dipper could even answer, Wendy went inside and started dancing with everyone else.

Dipper looked at his list. Things weren't going to plan. He decided to close the ticket booth.

"Stan won't mind if I'm gone for a few minutes, right?" he asked himself.

"Yes, yes I would," came Stan's voice.

Dipper jumped back when he realized Stan was there.

"You promised, remember?" Stan reminded him. "These suckers ain't gonna rip themselves off."

"I did?" Dipper asked, before the memory came to mind. "I did."

Stan nodded, before noticing that Wendy was missing. "And where's Wendy?"

Dipper was quick to come up with a lie. "She had to go to the bathroom."

"Alright, but no funny business." Stan then walked away.

Dipper re-opened the booth and continued to collect money from tourists.

If only I could be in two places at once,he thought to himself.

He noticed the nearby fliers. He then remembered the copier that made a living arm. An idea came to mind.

When the opportunity came, Dipper laid on the scanner and turned on the copier.

"I wonder if this is a good idea," he said to himself aloud.

But by then, it was too late. He was already scanned.

Dipper sat up. He turned around. He saw the 3D copy of himself. It looked exactly like him, but paler, and lacking the pine tree on the hat.

"So, uh…" the two Dippers said in unison. "Oh, sorry, you first. Stop copying me. Ha ha ha."

The original Dipper wrote the number two on his clone's hat in permanent marker.

"I will call you, Number Two," he said.

"That's an awful name," said the second Dipper. "You know a name I always wanted?"

"Tyrone," they both said in unison.

"Okay, Tyrone," said Dipper. "Let's get down to business. I'm thinking, you cover me at the ticket stand while I ask Wendy to dance."

"I'm you," said Tyrone. "I know the plan."

Both Dippers pulled out two different versions of the same list.

"Wait," Dipper worried. "We're not gonna turn on each other like in the movies, right?"

"Dipper, this is you we're talking about," Tyrone replied. "Plus, you can always disintegrate me with water."

"Yeah," the two said in unison.

Dipper went to talk to Wendy. He noticed Tyrone at the ticket booth from the window. They gave each other a thumbs-up.

Dipper then approached Wendy and started dancing.

"Great news," he smiled. "I got someone to cover the concessions for us."

"That's awesome," said Wendy. "You can hang out with me and Robbie." Robbie was leaning on the wall minding his own business. Wendy got his attention. "Robbie, you remember Dipper from the convenience store, right?"

"No," Robbie replied bluntly. "Hey, check out this cool guitar."

Robbie revealed a silver guitar and did a small riff.

Dipper gasped at this. He started to worry about what this would mean.

Robbie and Wendy were dancing.

"Robbie, you're so arrogant and a fraud," said Wendy. "But you play guitar. Oh, I forgot something." Wendy pulled out an excessively large hammer and whacked Dipper in the head with it, killing him. She then turned back to Robbie. "Let's get married tonight."

That's when Dipper's phone rang. He walked away to answer it.

"Hey, it's me, you," came Tyrone's voice. "I just had the same jealousy fantasy as you."

"We gotta get rid of Robbie if I ever want to dance with Wendy," said Dipper.

"Dipper, we're gonna sit on the couch!" Wendy called. "Meet us when you're done!"

"Oh no," Dipper panicked. "They're gonna sit on the couch! We gotta think of something quick!"

Dipper made another copy. He wrote the number three on his hat.

"That's where you come in, Number Three," said Dipper.

"But what if Robbie catches me?" asked Three. "I'll be all alone."

"Okay, four Dippers," said Dipper. "This is a four Dipper plan."

As Dipper tried to print a fourth copy, the paper got jammed. Three had to force it out.

The fourth clone came out crumpled and wrong. He only spoke in gibberish and acted like a baby. Tyrone had to cradle him to calm him down.

"Am I seriously gonna be partnered with that guy?" Three asked.

"Hey, don't be rude," Tyrone scolded.

"Okay, one more," Dipper decided.

Mabel and her friends were getting ready for their performance. They still had to come up with a song.

"I know," Evan said, just to fall under deaf ears.

"I got it," said Candy. "The crowd will go wild if we sing, 'My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, it's better than yours'."

"That's perfect," Grenda and Mabel said in unison.

Knowing he was outvoted, Evan went along with it.

The lights turned on. The group thought this was their cue to get on.

"Hold on dudes," Soos got in front of them. "It's not your turn, it's theirs'."

Right as he said that, Pacifica and her backups got on stage. The music started, and the girls started to sing.

Play "Milkshake" by Kelis

All:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, it's better than yours

Damn right it's better than yours

I can teach you, but I have to charge

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, it's better than yours

Damn right it's better than yours

I can teach you, but I have to charge

Pacifica:

I know you want it

The thing that makes me

What the guys go crazy for

They lose their minds

The way I wind

I think it's time

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

Warm it up

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

The boys are waiting

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

Warm it up

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

The boys are waiting

All:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, it's better than yours

Damn right it's better than yours

I can teach you, but I have to charge

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, it's better than yours

Damn right it's better than yours

I can teach you, but I have to charge

Pacifica:

I can see you're on it

You want me to teach the

Techniques that freaks these boys

It can't be bought

Just know, thieves get caught

Watch if you're smart

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

Warm it up

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

The boys are waiting

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

Warm it up

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

The boys are waiting

All:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, it's better than yours

Damn right it's better than yours

I can teach you, but I have to charge

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, it's better than yours

Damn right it's better than yours

I can teach you, but I have to charge

"I used to sing like that before my voice changed," Grenda remarked.

Pacifica:

I know you want it

The thing that makes me

What the guys go crazy for

They lose their minds

The way I wind

I think it's time

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

Warm it up

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

The boys are waiting

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

Warm it up

Backups:

La la, la la, la

Pacifica:

The boys are waiting

All:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, it's better than yours

Damn right it's better than yours

I can teach you, but I have to charge

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like, it's better than yours

Damn right it's better than yours

I can teach you, but I have to charge

End "Milkshake"

The crowd went wild.

"Pacifica pulls ahead!" Soos announced.

"Try and top that," Pacifica teased. "Oh, and Grenda, you sound like a professional wrestler."

"I want to put her in a headlock and make her feel pain!" Grenda shouted once Pacifica was out of range.

"It's not over until it's over sisters," Evan assured. "I have an idea."

Dipper approached Soos and whispered in his ear.

"Dudes, would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside?" Soos asked. "It's being stolen right now."

Robbie bolted off of the couch and ran to the window. He noticed two kids riding away on his bike.

Little did he know that they were Three and Five doing this to distract him.

Seeing his chance, Dipper sat next to Wendy.

"Tough break," he sarcastically remarked. "I wonder who those guys are who aren't me because I'm right here?"

Now that they were ready, Mabel and her friends got on stage. They braced themselves, then started the song.

Play "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey (GLEE version)

Evan:

Just a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Mabel:

Just a city boy

Born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Candy:

A singer in a smoky room

The smell of wine and cheap perfume

Grenda:

For a smile they can share the night

It goes on and on and on and on

All:

Strangers waiting

Up and down the boulevard

Their shadows searching in the night

Streetlight, people

Livin' just to find emotion

Hiding somewhere

Mabel and Evan:

In the night

Mabel:

Workin' hard to get my fill

Evan:

Everybody wants a thrill

Both:

Paying anything to roll the dice

Just one more time

Candy:

Some will win, some will lose

Grenda:

Some are born to sing the blues

Both:

Oh the movie never ends

It goes on and on and on and on

All:

Strangers waiting

Up and down the boulevard

Their shadows searching in the night

Streetlight, people

Livin' just to find emotion

Hiding somewhere

Mabel and Evan:

In the night

Grenda braced herself. Evan said that she should do the high note. She didn't think she was cut out for it since her voice changed, but in the end, she gave it a shot.

Grenda:

Don't stop

All:

Don't stop believin'

Mabel and Evan:

Hold on to that feelin'

All:

Streetlight, people, oh oh oh

Don't stop believin'

Mabel and Evan:

Hold on to that feelin'

All:

Streetlight, people, oh oh oh

Don't stop

End "Don't Stop Believin"

The crowd cheered even louder.

"Before we announce the winners, we're gonna bring it down for a minute," said Soos. "Ladies, dudes, now's the time."

Soos changed the song to a slower song. Every visitor turned to the person next to them and started dancing with them.

"Ah snap," said Wendy. "I love this song."

Mabel approached Dipper.

"Hey goof," she said. "Now's the time to ask Wendy to…" Dipper covered her mouth before she could say more, before leading her away from Wendy. "Now's your chance to ask Wendy to dance."

Dipper looked at the list. This wasn't the plan, but he knew he had his chance. He approached Wendy, opened his mouth, prepared to speak…

Then he chickened out at the last second.

"I'll be right back," he said as he ran to his room.

Dipper and Tyrone paced around the room.

"I agree," said Tyrone. "You can't just go dance with her."

"The dance floor is a minefield," said Dipper.

"What if there's a glitch in the sound system?"

"Stan might get in the way."

"Robbie might come back."

"There's too many variables. We need help."

Dipper printed a few more clones, and they all started to brainstorm a Plan B.

When the time was right, Dipper got everyone's attention by hitting a spoon against a lantern.

"Alright Dippers, now's the time!" he announced. "You all clear on what to do?"

All clones nodded.

They all headed out to put the plan into motion.

Number Ten used a glowing dot to distract Soos so he could play a 'Wendy Mix'.

Number Seven changed the lighting of the room.

Number Nine used a fishing pole to lower a dollar bill and distract Stan. No matter what, he couldn't resist getting an extra dollar on his hands.

Number Five pulled a rope.

That rope was connected to a bell in Dipper's room. The bell rang.

"That's your cue," said Tyrone. "It's the perfect moment to ask Wendy to dance. Good luck, me."

"I don't need luck," Dipper cockily replied. "Ihave a plan."

Dipper ran downstairs to ask Wendy to dance.

Then he ran into Wendy in the hallway.

"Ah, Wendy!" Dipper screamed, before taking a breath. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm just waiting for the bathroom," Wendy replied.

Dipper looked through his list, then struggled to come up with small talk.

"Hey, if everyone at this party got stranded on a desert island, who do you think would be the leader?" asked Wendy before she pointed to an overweight middle-aged man punching the air. "My bets would be that guy."

Dipper chuckled, then he pointed at a skinny late-teen doing the moonwalk. "I'd go for stretchy over there because… tall people can reach coconuts?"

Wendy giggled. "Speaking of tall, wanna see something?" She pulled out a picture of herself and three other boys. She covered herself to show the boys. "These are my brothers and…" She uncovered herself to show how tall she was compared to the boys. "Boop."

"Ha! You were a freak!" Dipper realized what he said and covered his mouth. "Sorry. Sorry."

"Oh, it's fine," Wendy sounded completely unoffended. "I was."

"You know, kids used to make fun of my birthmark before I started hiding it?"

"Birthmark?"

"It's nothing. I shouldn't have said that."

"But you said it. Now you have to show me. Show me, show me!"

Dipper removed his hat and uncovered his forehead, revealing his birthmark. It looked exactly like a certain star constellation.

"The Big Dipper," Wendy realized. "That's how you got your nickname. I thought your parents hated you or something. Hey, I guess we're both freaks."

Dipper smiled and blushed. "I never thought about that."

Wendy offered her cup. Dipper noticed an empty cup on the floor and picked it up. They clinked their cups together before chuckling.

Wendy noticed the bathroom was finally available. She went to do her business.

Dipper turned around. He noticed all his clones staring at him.

"What are you doing?" asked Tyrone. "Ten has been distracting Soos for ten minutes. He's gonna get tired of that dot eventually."

"Never!" Soos shouted from the other room.

"You won't believe this," said Dipper. "I accidentally bumped into Wendy, and it's going great."

"That's great, but not the plan," Tyrone reminded him.

All the clones took their copies of the list and read through it.

"Wow, am I really that crazy?" Dipper asked himself. "Look, we really don't need the plan. Maybe I could talk to her like a normal person."

The clones gasped.

"If you're not gonna stick to the plan, then maybe you shouldn't be the Dipper to dance with Wendy," said Five.

"Guys, come on," said Dipper. "We said we wouldn't turn on each other."

"I think we all knew we were lying," said Tyrone.

The clones ganged on Dipper and dragged him away.

Dipper was tossed into a closet.

"Don't worry!" Tyrone shouted. "There are snacks and a coloring book!"

Dipper begrudgingly grabbed the cheese crackers and started eating them.

"Now that Original Dipper is out of the picture," said Tyrone. "I propose I be the one to dance with Wendy. I've been around the longest. I mean, logically."

"Fair point, but maybe I should do it because I've been around the least," said Ten.

"That makes, like, zero sense."

"You make zero sense."

Ten shoved Tyrone into the other clones. They were all about to fight each other.

Paper Jam Dipper tried to say something. No one could understand him.

It only took Tyrone a second to realize what Paper Jam Dipper was trying to say.

"What would we do if we were trapped in a closet?" he asked.

"Break out," the others replied.

They turned to the closet to see the door wide open.

Dipper ran downstairs. He noticed Wendy on the dance floor. He tried to call out to her.

The clones grabbed him before he had the chance.

"Stop, STOP!" Dipper shouted. "We're exact equals, mentally and physically. If we start fighting, it'll go on for infinity."

The clones stopped. Dipper had a point.

This was what Dipper wanted. He used the opportunity to punch Tyrone, starting a clone fight.

The clones fought each other in a massive free-for-all.

Dipper used this as an opportunity to get away.

Tyrone spotted Dipper. "Hey, Original Dipper is getting away!"

Realizing he was caught, Dipper had to resort to Plan B. He activated a small confetti cannon so the smoke could trigger the sprinkler.

The sprinkler sprayed water all around the room. All the clones complained while melting.

"Boo!"

"Not cool!"

"You're the worst!"

Paper Jam Dipper was fine with it. "Nyi nyi nyi! (It's better this way for Paper Jam Dipper!)"

Dipper sighed in relief. It was finally over… or so he thought.

"You!" Tyrone pointed.

"Shit," Dipper muttered.

The winners were about to be unveiled.

"Pacifica, I just want to say, that no matter who wins, it was a fun party," Mabel told Pacifica in one last attempt to win her over.

"Aww, she thinks she's gonna win," Pacifica teased. "How cute."

Tyrone continued to beat up Dipper.

"Say it!" he demanded. "Say I can dance with Wendy!"

Dipper managed to free himself before grabbing Tyrone. "Never!"

That's when they both heard Wendy giggling. They headed to the dance room to see Wendy talking and having a good time with Robbie.

"We blew it," the two Dippers sighed.

"So, what now?" asked Dipper.

"I don't know," Tyrone replied. "You wanna grab a couple sodas or something?"

"Let the party crown voting commence," Soos announced. "All in favor of Mabel?"

Evan, Candy, Grenda, Stan, and a good chunk of the crowd applauded.

"That's pretty good," said Soos. "Now, all in favor of Pacifica."

A lot less people cheered for Pacifica.

Pacifica knew she was losing. She wouldn't let that happen. She gave the crowd a cold glare. A lot more people nervously applauded.

This didn't go unnoticed by Soos.

"Hey, that's cheating," he scolded. "Disqualified. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! The winner of the contest is Mabel Pines."

Pacifica wasn't having it. There was no way she was gonna lose to a bunch of weirdos.

"This isn't fair!" she screamed. "This is favoritism! She's just a newbie and hangs out with a bunch of freaks! I'm rich! I'm important! I'm…"

Before she could continue, she felt someone punch her hard on the face, causing her to fall to the floor.

She looked up to see that Evan was the one that punched her. Candy and Grenda grabbed him to make sure he couldn't do any more.

"The absolute worst!" Evan snapped. "You look down on everyone around you for the dumbest reasons! You've picked on me and my friends for as long as I can remember, you always steal the spotlight from everyone, and now you're accusing this nice man of giving someone else a crown because of 'favoritism'? That's low, even for you! So, you have two options here. One, continue acting this way and people will start to see you for how petty you are. Two, you accept the defeat and people will see you as a humble girl who accepts her losses."

Realizing her reputation was on the line, Pacifica begrudgingly chose the second option. She huffed and walked away, but not before saying one final thing. "Hey, who wants to go to the after-party at my parents' boat?"

Half of the crowd cheered and followed Pacifica.

Once Pacifica and the few followers she had left were gone, Mabel approached Evan.

"Hey, thanks for that idea," she said, offering the crown. "You deserve this."

"No, keep it," Evan refused. "We wouldn't have won if not for your idea to challenge Pacifica to begin with. You won, fair and square."

Mabel put the crown back on.

"Then I declare that we party all night!" she shouted. "Hit it, Soos!"

Soos started the music, and everyone in the room continued to dance.

Meanwhile, Dipper and Tyrone were sitting on the roof, enjoying looking up at the night sky.

"Some night, huh?" said Tyrone.

"Do you think we really have a chance with Wendy?" Dipper sighed. "I mean, she's cool, we're not."

"I don't know. We're not making any progress the way we're doing it. The only good conversation you had with her was when you didn't do any of that list stuff."

"I think Mabel's right. I do get in my own way, literally."

The two Dippers drank their sodas. Tyrone realized too late that he basically caused his own demise.

"Shit, shit, SHIT!" Dipper shouted.

"It's fine," Tyrone assured. "I had a good run. Hey, don't be a wimp around Wendy, for my sake."

Dipper kneeled at the remnants of his first clone, in one moment of silence.

Dipper then climbed down. He looked through the window to see that the party was still going.

He went inside and met up with his sister.

"Dipper, where have you been?" she asked. "Meet my new friends, Candy..." Candy smiled and waved. "Grenda…"

"Hello," Grenda greeted in her deep voice.

"And Evan," Mabel finished.

Evan noticed Dipper's birthmark.

"Is that real?" he asked.

Dipper realized that he forgot to cover it back up after showing it to Wendy.

"No it isn't," he quickly lied, despite how pointless it was.

"I don't get why you're embarrassed," said Evan. "I think it's cool."

Dipper didn't know how to feel about that. "Thanks?"

Later that night, the party was over. Every visitor headed home, except for Candy, Grenda, and Evan. They were staying to sleep over with Mabel.

Evan sat outside under the porch to gaze at the stars in the sky.

"Couldn't sleep?" asked a voice.

Evan jumped, only to realize it was just Mabel.

"Hey," he smiled nervously. "What are you doing?"

"I'd ask you the same thing," Mabel replied.

"I like to look up at the night sky every night before bed. I always feel a bit of comfort, like someone's whispering in my ear, 'Everything's gonna be okay'. It's why Pacifica makes fun of me, calls me 'Starboy'."

He almost cried saying that. It was painful knowing how he was treated.

Mabel could tell that Evan was in a bad place.

"Hey, I think you're cool," she assured. "If Pacifica can't see that, then she'll have to answer to me."

"You mean…" Evan was about to ask.

"Yes. That's what friends are for."

Evan blushed. "Yeah, friends."

Evan wanted to admit how he felt right then and there, but it was evident that Mabel saw him as a friend, and nothing more. He knew it was for the best if he kept his feelings to himself.

Chapter 7: Irrational Treasure

Chapter Text

The Pines were in the car heading somewhere. They were stuck in traffic, so they had to wait a while.

Mabel passed the time by attaching nachos to her ears.

"Nacho earrings," she laughed. "I'm hilarious."

"That's debatable," Stan replied before honking his horn. "What's with all this traffic, and why is it…"

Stan looked ahead to realize… it already came.

Families drove by on horse-drawn wagons, all the while dressed like they're from the 1800s.

"Oh no!" Stan shouted as he tried to back away. "Not today!"

"Stan, what's going on?" Dipper asked.

"We gotta get out of here before it's too late!" Stan shouted. A bunch of the wagons surrounded the car. They were too late. "No!"

Mabel saw a cow smiling at her through the window. "I have a good feeling about today."

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 7

Irrational Treasure

Dipper and Mabel got out of the car. They both looked around, amazed at everything they were seeing.

"Look at the town," Dipper said as he looked at a postcard of the town.

The picture showed a statue, a cathedral, and a few other buildings. In front of Dipper, everything seemed to be an exact match to the picture.

"It's Pioneer Day," Stan explained. "Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded."

The town gossiper, Toby, approached the Pines family with newspapers.

"Welcome to 1863," he greeted in an enthusiastic tone.

"I will break you, little man!" Stan threatened.

Toby ran away in fear.

Dipper and Mabel looked around. There were a lot of things to do. Candle dipping, gold panning, and even a wedding between a man and a woodpecker.

"I remember this," Dipper said as he read the journal. "Back then, it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers. Don't know what that's about."

"It's still very legal," the new husband told Dipper.

"Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!" a voice announced.

"Grunkle Stan, you coming?" Mabel asked.

"No thank you," said Stan. "Just remember, if you come back to the shack talking like these morons, you're dead to me."

"There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar," Dipper mocked in a country voice.

"Well, hornswaggle my haversack," said Mabel.

They both spit on the ground before running off to join the festivities.

"Dead to me!" Stan shouted.

The twins joined the rest of the townsfolk for the Pioneer Day announcements.

"Here ye, here ye!" the sheriff announced on stage. "Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence!"

The deputy jumped on stage and rang a bell like a crazy person.

"Woo! I got a bell!" he cheered.

"He sure loves his bell," the sheriff remarked. He couldn't help but find that cute.

Dipper and Mabel finally got around the bigger people just to see a familiar blonde girl at the microphone.

"Howdy everyone," she greeted. "You may know me as Pacifica Northwest, great-great-granddaughter of town founder Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich." The crowd applauded, except for Dipper and Mabel. "Now, if you have the pioneer spirit, we ask you to come up here and introduce yourself."

Audience participation!" Mabel cheered.

"I don't know," said Dipper. "Isn't she your arch-nemesis?"

"Water under the bridge."

Mabel walked onstage.

"Our first newcomer is," Pacifica said excitedly before seeing Mabel. She wasn't happy to see her. "Mabel."

"Yeah, let's get this party started!" Mabel cheered before blowing a raspberry. "USA! USA!"

"USA! USA!" the crowd, including Dipper, cheered along.

"I hate to break it to you," said Pacifica. "But Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you're plain ridiculous." She looked at Mabel's sweater. "I mean, a puppy playing a basketball? Are you always this silly?"

Mabel hid her face under her sweater, embarrassed.

"That's rich coming from a snob like you!" a voice shouted. Everyone turned around to see Wendy standing in an epic pose, one that made Dipper blush. "You call her ridiculous as if your family isn't horrible!"

"What are you talking about?" Pacifica asked as if trying to hide something.

"You know full well what I'm talking about North-wretch! Your family ruined mine!"

"More like you did that to yourselves. Your family is just a bunch of stupid lumberjacks. That's not even mentioning what happened to your poor mommy!"

"Well, I, you…" Wendy couldn't speak. The reminder of what happened really hurt. She ran away, fighting the urge to cry.

Pacifica turned back to the crowd. "Who wants to hear more about me?"

Dipper turned to Mabel. "Let's get out of here."

The twins left the area.

Stan tried to drive back to the shack. It got stuck in some mud of all things. Stan noticed a guy with a donkey passing by.

"Hey you!" he called. "Can you help me with my car?"

"Here in 1863, I have never heard tell of a… car," said the donkey boy. "Pray tell, what is this magic wheel box?"

"Come on, Steve, you're a mechanic for God sake! Cut me some slack!"

"'Slack.' I am unfamiliar with this bold new expression."

"I can't take this anymore!" Stan grabbed the donkey boy. "I'm getting dumber every second I'm here!"

The sheriff and deputy arrived.

"Are we gonna have to intervene here?" the sheriff asked.

"Oh, look, it's the constable," Stan sarcastically remarked. "What are you gonna do, throw me in 'ye stocks'?"

Stan got thrown in the stockades.

"Ah, come on!" he yelled.

Gideon walked by carrying a sack of tomatoes.

"Hey, Gideon," Stan greeted. "You actually look less girly than usual."

"Why, Stanford," said Gideon. "I'm just a humble tomato farmer selling his wares. Whoops, I dropped one." Gideon threw a tomato in Stan's eye. "Whoops, I dropped another one." He threw a tomato in Stan's other eye.

"Pioneer Day!" Stan screamed.

Dipper and Mabel saw Wendy sitting in front of the statue of the town founder. They sat next to her to comfort her.

"Dipper, Mabel, do you think I'm… stupid?" Wendy asked.

"No," Dipper replied as sincerely as he could.

"You're lying, I know it! My family history, my stupid outfit, people see me as a joke."

Wendy took her hat off. This concerned Dipper. "Wendy, you always wear that hat."

"I did before that Pacifica bitch ruined it for me. She and her family ruin everything!"

Wendy punched the statue of Nathaniel, leaving a dent. It did cause some pain, but she shook it off.

"You're right," said Mabel. "She acts like being related to the town founder gives her the right to treat everyone around her like garbage. That's what she did to me and my friends during the party at the Mystery Shack. Someone needs to take her down a peg."

Dipper gasped as an idea came to his mind. He started skimming through the journal. "I think I read something about Nathaniel Northwest before." He found the page he was looking for. "Of course, this is perfect." He imitated the voice of the writer. "'In my investigations…'" He stopped and returned to his normal voice. "Should I do the voice?"

"No," Mabel replied.

"Yes," Wendy said at the same time.

"I'll just read normally," Dipper said before he continued reading. "'In my investigations, I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the founder of Gravity Falls. I believe the proof is somewhere on the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code.'" Dipper removed a piece of paper taped onto the page. He opened it to reveal a strange puzzle. "Oh man, if this is true, it means Pacifica is a fraud. This could be a major conspiracy. Mabel, we gotta investigate this. Mystery twins?"

"I thought you hated that," said Mabel.

"Well, I'm starting to get used to it."

The twins fist-bumped.

"Wait, I wanna come with you," said Wendy. "Conspiracies are serious, right?"

"Yeah, definitely," Dipper replied.

"Well, if we crack this code, then that means Pacifica will have to leave us all alone."

The three ran off to investigate. Wendy realized she almost forgot her hat, so she turned back and grabbed it.

None of them noticed the sheriff watching them from behind the statue.

"This is Sheriff Blubs," he called someone on his walkie. "We have a code sepia."

"What?" asked the voice on the other side. "What are you doing about it?"

"I'm following them right now."

"Find them and stop them. There's no room for error."

"I understand. Blubs out." Blubs hung up and turned to the deputy. "Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready for this?"

"Woo!" Durland cheered as he rang his bell.

Blubs chuckled. "If being delightful was a crime, I'd have to arrest you."

"Let's go get them."

The incompetent enforcers ran after the trio.

The trio made it to the town library.

"Alright, proving Nathaniel wasn't the founder of Gravity Falls will finally put Pacifica in her place," said Dipper.

"And solving a mystery will prove that my family isn't stupid," Wendy added.

"We just need to crack the code." Dipper turned on a slide projector to showcase different forms of code. None of them matched the puzzle. "It's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not…" Dipper was on a slide about Alchemist Symbols. "Of course. The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message. It's so obvious." He grabbed a candle. "Alright, let's light this sucker up and…" Dipper noticed that Mabel had folded it into a hat. "Mabel."

"Whoops," Mabel said, assuming she did something stupid.

"Wait," Dipper shone the candle on the hat. "You folded it into a map, and I was gonna burn it."

"We're looking for three kids who might be reading," came the voice of Blubs.

The trio hid under the table. Wendy held her breath and covered the twins' mouths so they wouldn't risk exposing themselves.

"We're hunting them down for secret reasons!" Durland shouted while ringing his bell. "WOO!"

When the cops were gone, Wendy exhaled and uncovered the twins' mouths.

"Maybe we should take this elsewhere," she whispered.

"This map should lead us to…" Dipper examined.

"The Gravity Falls History Museum," Dipper finished.

By then, they were at the Gravity Falls History Museum.

"You both realize what this means," Wendy said with a dramatic face. "We're gonna have to break in."

"And those are your free Pioneer Day passes and balloons," the museum employee said as she gave the trio badges and balloons. Dipper's balloon was blue, Mabel's was pink, and Wendy's was red.

Wendy kept her dramatic face. "We're in."

The trio looked around the museum.

"What are we gonna do next?" asked Mabel. "Steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage?"

"No," Dipper replied, disgusted. "According to the map, the next clue about the real founder should be right… here." In front of Dipper was a strange carving in a triangle. "We have to figure this out, quickly. I have a feeling those cops weren't at the library to check out books."

"I don't think the one with the bell can read," Mabel remarked.

The trio examined the painting. It looked really weird.

"Hey painting, be less stupid," Mabel demanded as she sat on a bench upside-down. She saw the artwork in a whole new light. "It worked!"
Dipper and Wendy quickly sat upside-down. They saw a picture of an angel holding a book and pointing to the right.

"It's not abstract, it's upside-down," Dipper realized.

"I think I saw that statue in the cemetery," said Wendy. "Let's go."

The trio got back up. They were about to run to the exit, but they got dizzy because they were upside-down for so long.

"I'm sorry, but we're out of pink balloons," the employee apologized to Durland.

"Why did we even come?" Durland whined.

"Officer Blubs," said a voice on the walkie.

Blubs and Durland ran away from the employee so they could answer.

"Blubs here," said Blubs.

"Have the targets been apprehended?" asked the boss.

"Negative, but we're close. Those kids will never get past us, I promise."

Right as he said that, the kids ran right past them.

The cops ran after them, but they got stuck between the doors.

The kids got away.

"Dammit!" Blubs shouted.

Stan tried to use a hairpin to pick the lock. He had to hold it with his mouth because his hands were tied. He dropped the pin.

Pacifica of all people picked it up.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Pines," she teased. "Looking for this?"

"Yeah, yeah. What do you want?" asked Stan.

"I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls."

"Sure, you want that in writing?"

Pacifica handed Stan a pen to hold with his mouth, all the while she held the notepad. Stan wrote his message on the pad. 'YOU STINK!'

"Ha! I did that with my mouth!" he laughed.

Pacifica wasn't gonna let herself be humiliated a second time. She whistled to some nearby townsfolk, then pointed at Stan.

The folks knew what they needed to do. They readied their tomatoes.

"Come on!" Stan shouted.

The trio made it to the cemetery. They found the angel statue.

"It must be pointing to the next clue," Dipper theorized.

Mabel positioned herself so it would look like the statue was picking her nose. She accidentally moved the finger with her nose a bit.

A secret passageway opened up.

"Who's silly now, Pacifica?" Mabel asked before getting her nose stuck. "Ow."

Dipper helped Mabel out. He noticed some blood dripping out of her nose, so he gave her some tissues to plug it up.

The trio went down the steps and deep underground.

"We gotta watch out for booby traps," said Dipper.

"Ha, you said traps," Mabel laughed, before realizing she said the wrong thing.

Before she could correct herself, she stepped on a tile.

A bunch of tranquilizer darts started firing towards the trio. Wendy picked up the twins and started dodging the darts.

After a bit of running, she tripped on a rock. She slid down a slippery slope, carrying the twins with her. All three of them screamed until they reached the bottom.

The three got up, dizzy and exhausted.

Once they recovered, they looked around the room they were in.

"It's a secret trove of historic, secrety things," Mabel described.

She noticed some papers revealing unknown facts about historical figures, like Abraham Lincoln having a secret third hand on his head, and Benjamin Franklin secretly being transgender.

"Jackpot," Dipper said. He found it. The Northwest Cover-Up. "Now we'll find out who the real founder was." He opened the document and started reading.

"Let it here be recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, famous in his native Gravity Falls for standing in the park and hitting himself with a large boating oar until he blacked out, was chosen to become the patsy mayor of Gravity Falls. Northwest spoke in a series of grunts and screams and often yelled, 'I am going to eat this entire oak tree because I'm a powerful wizard!'

The fabled founder of Gravity Falls was, in fact, a fraud, and a waste-shoveling village idiot. His last moments on Earth were spent choking on a giant piece of bark, attempting to live out his beautiful dream. He was hated by everyone that knew him. He will not be missed."

"Ha ha ha!" Dipper laughed. "Bad news for Pacifica. Wait until the papers hear about this."

"Once people see that we uncovered a historical conspiracy, they could never call us silly again," Wendy added.

Dipper read the last part of the page.

"The true founder of Gravity Falls was:

Sir Lord Quentin Trembly, III, ESQ."

"Who's Quentin Trembley?" Mabel wondered.

That's when a light shone on the trio. They turned around to see the cops staring at them.

"He's none of your business," said Blubs.

Durland rang his bell. "WOO! WE GOT YOU! Woo!"Pant."Woo-hoo…"

Durland collapsed. He got hit with quite a few of those darts.

After Durland recovered, Blubs finally spoke up. "I hate to do this, but Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security."

"What do you mean?" asked Dipper. "Who is Quentin Trembley and how is he a threat to national security?"

"See for yourself," Blubs replied.

He turned on a projector to reveal a black-and-white film.

"If you're watching this," said the guy on the screen. "Then you are one of eight people in the United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete." He turned to someone off-camera. "What? No? Ha! That's a relief." He went back to the camera. "Of all America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley, the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States."

"Eighth-and-a-half?" Mabel asked. "How does that work?"

"Shh," Blubs shushed.

"After winning the 1837 election in a literal landslide," the narrator explained. "Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president. He declared war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the Supreme Court, and issued the De-pants-ipation Proclamation. His state of the union speech was even worse."

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," came the voice of Trembley. "And gigantic man-eating spiders."

"He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named 'Gravity Falls', after plummeting into it at high speed. Trembley's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as president and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of Trembley's body are unknown."

That's where the video ended.

"Until now," Blubs finished.

He pointed at the body of Trembley. He was frozen in a cube of… something that clearly wasn't ice.

"Is that amber or something?" asked Dipper.

"The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of peanut brittle," Blubs explained. "Smooth move, Mr. President. Finding Trembley's body was our special mission, and now thanks to you, it's complete."

"Who knew all we had to do was follow a couple of twins and Ms. Corduroy?" Durland remarked.

"Now that you know the truth," Blubs finished. "Well, we can't let you go around talking about it."

"Does that mean you're gonna kill us?" Wendy asked, getting in front of the twins to protect them.

"Oh no!" Durland screamed.

"We're just gonna escort you and all this stuff back to Washington," Blubs assured, calming the deputy down. "You ain't coming back by the way."

Before anyone knew it, the trio were locked in a crate with Trembley's frozen body, on a train to Washington.

"Hey, let us out!" the twins begged as they banged on the wall.

Wendy sat in the corner thinking about everything that just happened.

"I can't believe I got us into this mess," she said. "This is my fault. Pacifica had me pegged all along." Tears formed around her eyes. "I'm a failure just like the rest of my family."

Wendy punched the peanut brittle as hard as she could.

The brittle cracked upon impact. Trembley was free.

"It is I, Quentin Trembley!" he announced before tearing off his pants.

"You're alive, but how?" Dipper asked.

"Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties," Mabel smiled. "You're not silly, you're brilliant."

"And so are you, kids," Trembley replied. "For following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb."

"He's right," Dipper realized. "Making maps into hats, hanging upside-down, your silliness is what cracked the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years."

"By Jefferson," Trembley said as he took in his surroundings. "We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box. Good thing I have the president's key which could open any lock in America." Trembley tried to use his key to unlock the crate. That didn't work. "Dag nabit, my greatest enemy, wood! To get out of here, we'll need to cook up the silliest plan ever."

"I think I know how to help you," said Dipper.

Mabel noticed a tiny hole in the crate. She tried to stick her finger through.

That's when they heard pecking.

"Is that my third wife, Sandy?" Trembley asked.

After a while, a piece of the wood came off. The rest of the crate crumbled shortly after.

"Well, we didn't fit through the hole," said Trembley. "Let's rebuild the box and try again!"

"No, dumbass!" Wendy yelled. "We gotta get out of here!"

"Also good."

The quartet entered the next car. Durland was there getting ice. He saw the gang.

"Blubs!" he called.

Blubs arrived.

The gang turned around and tried to find another way out. Trembley found an emergency exit on the roof. He tried to use the key to unlock it.

"Give me that!" Dipper took the key.

Dipper pulled the lever and opened the emergency exit.

Everyone got on the roof and made a run for it. After a while, they reached a dead end.

"There's nowhere to run," Blubs panted. All that running tired him out. "I gotta take a knee."

"Anything I can get for you, darling?" Durland asked as he held Blubs.

"Edwin Durland, you are a diamond in the rough."

"Sheriff, do you really want to lock us all up in a facility somewhere?" asked Dipper.

"I have no choice!" Blubs replied. "Our orders come from the very top!"

"Wait!" Dipper turned to Trembley. "Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?"

"No sir! I ate a salamander and jumped out the window!"

"Then technically, you're still legally president! You gotta answer to this guy!"

The cops turned to each other, confused.

"As president of these several United States," Trembley declared. "I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened, and go on a delightful vacation!"

"Vacation?" Blubs asked before turning to Durland. "Where's one place you always wanted to go?"

"Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan." Durland replied.

Once the train reached its next stop, which thankfully wasn't that far away, Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, and Trembley got off the train. The cops waved goodbye as the train sped away.

"You've done a great service to your country, kids," Trembley told the kids. "As thanks, I'd like to make all three of you official U.S. Congressmen."

Trembley pulled three hats out of his vest. Wendy and Mabel put on their hats gladly, while Dipper rejected his.

"I'm legalizing everything!" Mabel declared.

"As for you, dear boy," Trembley told Dipper. "You are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land, so I'd like you to have my president's key."

Dipper took the key and smiled.

The quartet made it back to Gravity Falls.

"And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for three hours," Trembley finished telling his story. "Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk."

"Agreed," said Wendy.

That's when they saw Pacifica watching some other kids play Maypole.

"Hey asshole!" Wendy called, getting Pacifica's attention. "We uncovered a government conspiracy! Who's silly now?"

Wendy gestured to Trembley, who was busy fighting a bald eagle.

"What?" Pacifica asked, shocked. "Who is that idiot?"

"The eighth-and-a-half president of America," Mabel explained. "I know what you're thinking: 'How is he still alive?' It turns out, you can hibernate in peanut brittle and…"

Pacifica laughed. "You really are sad dumb kids. Nice top hats by the way." She made a fake gasp. "I see your car is stuck in the mud. Enjoy walking home."

Pacifica walked off.

"Hey, aren't you gonna tell her about…" Dipper was about to ask.

"I have nothing to prove," Mabel interrupted. "I learned that being silly is awesome."

Wendy was dumbfounded.

"Seriously?!" she snapped. "That's the message you got from all of this?! Pacifica has been an asshole for as long as any of us have known her and you're just gonna let her off?!" She turned to Dipper. "What about you, Dipper?"

"I haven't learned anything," Dipper replied before turning to Pacifica. "Hey North-wretch!"

Dipper and Wendy approached Pacifica and showed her the article.

"Your great-gramps didn't found Gravity Falls!" Wendy shouted. "You say MY family is a sham, but I don't recall MY ancestor shoveling shit for a living! Deal with it!"

Pacifica skimmed through the article and was completely shocked. "WHAT?! MOM!"

"Ha, and now you're calling out to your mommy," Dipper laughed, staring Pacifica down. Pacifica blushed at Dipper getting close to her face. She slapped him before walking off. Dipper didn't really care about the slap, though. "Revenge is so underrated. That felt awesome."

That's when Trembley approached the kids. "Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here…" Trembley pointed at Dipper's heart, before revealing a dollar bill with his face on it. "On the negative one dollar bill."

Dipper took a good look at the bill. "This is worthless."

"It's less than worthless my boy. Trembley away!"

Trembley jumped in the air as if about to fly, then he landed on a horse and rode it backwards.

"Where do you think he's going?" asked Mabel.

"If I had to guess, he's gonna ride off a cliff," Dipper realized.

The trio found Stan still locked up.

"And then Soos came by and talked to me for, like, an hour," Stan explained.

"You've been through so much," Mabel remarked.

Dipper tried using the president's key to remove the lock. It worked like a charm.

"So what's with the top hats?" Stan asked Mabel and Wendy.

"We're both congressmen," Mabel replied.

"Pardon me?"

"You're officially pardoned."

The trio laughed at Mabel's joke.

"You three are never gonna make sense to me, kids," Stan remarked.

"No we're not, Stanford," Wendy replied. "No we're not."

Chapter 8: The Time-Traveler's Pig

Chapter Text

It was a great day for Stan Pines. He managed to rent a carnival for the Mystery Shack. This was bound to make him millions.

"There it is, kids," he told the kids while the carnival was being built. "The cheapest fair money can rent. I spared every expense. I got a job for you two. I printed a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit."

Dipper and Mabel looked at the certificates. They were just papers with a big blue A stamped on it.

"Grunkle Stan, is this legal?" Mabel asked.

"When there's no cops around, anything's legal," Stan replied before turning to Soos, who was busy building one of the attractions. "Hey Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along?"

"Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines," Soos replied.

Stan punched the target. The trapdoor didn't budge. "Ha! You got it rigged from here to Timbuktu. There's nothing on this planet that can knock me down."

"Yeah, except for, like, a futuristic laser arm cannon."

"Have you been licking yourself again, Soos?"

Soos blushed. "Ha, caught me again, Mr. Pines."

He then proceeded to lick his own elbow.

Stan searched his pockets for something. He couldn't find it. "Hey, you haven't seen my red screwdriver, have you?" He started checking the toolbox. "Damn thing went missing."

"Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing took it."

"Oi, you've been spending way too much time with those kids. Alright, let's see. Where did I put that thing?"

Meanwhile, an average bald man wearing a gray jumpsuit and goggles was walking past the porta-potties with a red screwdriver in hand.

"The mission is proceeding as planned," he said to someone on his watch.

He used the screwdriver to mess with his watch. His suit changed to blend in with the background.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 8

The Time-Traveler's Pig

"It's 12:00!" Stan announced. "The dunk tank is now open! Step right up and dunk me, folks!" He started pointing to people in the crowd. "I'm talking to you, cut-offs, muffin top, high pants! Who wants a piece of me?" This infuriated the crowd. They threw the balls provided onto the target. None of them did a thing. Stan laughed. "Come back any time, folks!"

Elsewhere, Dipper and Wendy bought some question mark-shaped corn dogs.

"How do they get it in this shape?" Dipper wondered. "It's unnatural."

"But Dipper, it's…" Wendy replied as she held up her dog. "Delicious?" That's when some cheese fell onto her sleeve. "Ah, dammit." She left to clean up the stain. "I'll be right back."

"I'll be right here!" Dipper chuckled and blushed. When Wendy was out of site, he whispered, "I love you."

That's when Mabel showed up with two cones of cotton candy.

"Look at you two getting all romantic at the fair," she smiled.

Dipper blushed. "Come on, it's no big deal."

"Yeah it is."

Dipper couldn't deny it anymore. "Okay, you're right. It's amazing! I just dove in and said, 'Hey, you wanna hang out at the fair?' And you know what she said? 'Yeah, I guess so!' It totally worked! All your advice about just going for it is finally paying off!"

"When are you gonna learn, Dipper? I'm always right about everything." That's when she smelled something off. "Hey, what smells like a gallon of body spray?"

The twins turned to see Robbie approaching them.

"Have either of you dorks seen Wendy?" he asked.

"Who wants to know?" Dipper replied.

Robbie took a piece of Mabel's cotton candy. "I got some super tight jeans, thought she might wanna check them out."

"Yeah, I think I saw her in the bottomless pit. You should jump in there."

Robbie didn't take kindly to that. "Maybe I will, smart guy."

Robbie kicked Dipper in the shins before walking off.

"He's such a jerk," Mabel remarked.

"Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar," said Dipper. "I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs."

"Don't worry. No matter what happens, I'll be right here supporting you every step of the…" Mabel's attention was diverted to a nearby game. "Oh my gosh, a pig!"

Mabel ran over to the 'Win a Pig' game.

"If you can guess the critter's weight, you can take the critter home," said the carnie.

Mabel heard one of the pigs oink in a way that sounded like he was saying her name. She got excited.

"Oh look," came the voice of Pacifica. "Mabel found her real twin."

That's when Dipper finally caught up to Mabel and saw Pacifica teasing her as usual.

"Hey, you!" he shouted, getting Pacifica's attention. "Leave her alone!"

Pacifica blushed and struggled to speak. "What… what are you going to do?"

Dipper made a smug smile. "I can always tell the entire town the truth about your great-gramps."

"You… you wouldn't dare."

"Try me." Pacifica didn't know why she was blushing. She couldn't say anything. She ran away. Dipper was satisfied. "Yeah, you better run."

He then turned to Mabel. She was still admiring that pig.

"Sir, I must have that pig," she demanded to the carnie.

"Oh, old Fifteen-Pounder," he said. "How much do you guess that he weighs?"

"Fifteen pounds?"

The carnie was shocked, as if he didn't just give away the answer. "What are you, some kind of witch? Well, there's your pig."

Everyone in the area cheered for Mabel, including Dipper. Mabel hugged her new pet. "Everything is different now."

Dipper noticed Wendy walking by. He ran over to her.

"Hey Dipper, where have you been?" she asked.

Dipper blushed and struggled to speak. "I was… playing some other games."

That's when Wendy noticed a nearby game. The prizes were stuffed toys of strange hybrids.

"I don't know what that is, but I want it," she said.

Dipper recognized the game. "My uncle taught me the secret. You throw the ball at the carnie's head, then take the prize while he's unconscious."

Wendy chuckled. "Nice."

Dipper turned to the carnie and handed him a ticket. "One ball, please?"

The carnie took the ticket and gave Dipper a ball.

"You only get one chance," he said.

Dipper held the ball out. He took a couple breaths. He threw the ball.

He missed the bottles. The ball bounced right below the bottles and flew right towards Wendy's face. Before she could react, it got her in the eye.

"Ow!" she screamed.

"Shit!" Dipper shouted. "Wendy, are you okay?"

"Does it look swollen?" Wendy showed her eye to reveal it was swollen.

Dipper was horrified, but he tried to keep Wendy calm. "Everything's gonna be fine. I'll… get some ice."

Dipper went to the shack and found the cooler. He grabbed a bag of ice and ran to find Wendy.

Before he could reach Wendy, he bumped into someone. The bag shattered, and ice was poured everywhere. Dipper started putting ice back in the bag.

He turned to the man he bumped into. "Watch where you're going!"

The man took a tape measure and made a run for it.

Dipper turned back to Wendy. His worst nightmare came true.

Robbie got to Wendy first. He used a snow cone to heal her swollen eye.

"Robbie, thanks," she said. "That's really sweet. The gesture, and the flavor."

"Yeah," Robbie replied. "I was in the right place at the right time. You know, I've been meaning to ask you. We've spent so much time together, and I was wondering, do you wanna go out with me?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Sweet."

Wendy and Robbie got on the 'Tunnel of Love' ride. Dipper couldn't believe his eyes.

"Everything is different now," he said sadly.

Later that day, Dipper walked back to the shack sadly. He met up with Mabel, who was still cuddling her new pet pig.

"Hey, Dipper," she said. "Come meet my new pig. His name is Waddles. I called him that because he waddles." She shook him around to prove her point. She then noticed the sad look on Dipper's face. "What's wrong, bro?"

Dipper sighed. "Mabel, do you ever wish to go back in time to fix one mistake?"

"Nope, I do things right all the time."

"I mean, Wendy only went out with Robbie because he had the ice, and she needed it, and she only needed it because of the baseball, and I would've had the ice if it weren't for…" Dipper noticed the guy he ran into earlier. "Him!" He approached the man. "Hey asshole, you ruined my life!"

"Huh?" the guy asked.

"Don't 'huh' me! I've seen you before! What's your deal? Are you following us?"

The man seemed terrified. "My position has been compromised! Assuming stealth mode!" He started messing with his watch. His outfit changed to show the background. "Dammit!"

He started using a screwdriver on the watch.

"That's amazing," said Mabel. "Are you from the future or something?"

The man got defensive. "No! Who told you that? Memory wipe!" The man threw a wipe at Mabel's face. She grabbed it to see it was just a normal wipe. The man sighed. "Alright, you've cornered me. The name's Blendin Blandin. I'm a time-traveler."

"Wait, if you're from the future, do you have a time machine or something?" asked Dipper.

"That's how it works," Blendin replied.

Dipper got excited. "Can I borrow it?"

"No."

"Come on! Just once?"

"Out of the question! This is sensitive, extremely complicated time equipment!" Blendin revealed what looked like a tape measure.

"It looks like a tape measure."

"Shut your damn mouth!"

Dipper turned to Mabel. "Is he making sense to you?"

"I think he's crazy," Mabel replied.

"You don't believe me?" Blendin asked as he pulled the tape. When he let go, he disappeared. He reappeared a few seconds later dressed as a French soldier. "Guess where I was." The twins looked amazed. "That's right, fifteen years ago, there was a costume store right here! One second."

He disappeared, then reappeared back in his usual outfit. This time, he was on fire. He panicked. He quickly patted it off.

"So who are you again?" Mabel asked.

"Blendin Blandin," Blendin replied as he showed his card. "Time anomaly removal crew, year 207012. My mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are meant to happen at this very location, but I don't see any anomalies. I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or if I'm tired."

Dipper got an idea. "You sound like you can use a break."

"Definitely," Mabel agreed, offering a couple of tickets. "Might we recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?"

"You know what?" Blendin decided as he stood up. "What the hell. I'm worth it!" He took the tickets. "But I got my eye on you!"

Blendin went to the nearby 'Rusty Barrel Rodeo' ride. He dropped one of his tickets in the barrel.

"Sorry, dude, but you're gonna have to take your belt off for the ride," said Soos, who was monitoring the ride. "One of your tools might fly off and accidentally fix something."

Blendin took off his belt and gave it to Soos. "Guard it with your life!"

Soos took the belt. "I'll watch it like a hawk, dude."

Blendin got on one of the barrels and rode around in a circle. To any outside viewer, the ride didn't look thrilling, but Blendin was having the time of his life.

Soos put down the belt the moment the ride started.

This was their chance. The twins grabbed the belt and ran away with it.

The twins set down the tape measure and admired it.

"Here it is, Mabel," said Dipper. "Our ticket to any moment in history."

"Let's get two dodos and force them to make out," Mabel suggested.

"No! We gotta be smart about this. All that paradox stuff kinda freaked me out. All I'm gonna do is go back and fix my one mistake. If I don't miss that throw, I won't hit Wendy in the eye, and Robbie won't comfort her, and they won't start going out."

"I wanna come too so I can relive the greatest moment of my life, winning Waddles."

Dipper pulled the tape measure until it was at six hours.

"See you later," he told Waddles.

"You mean, 'see you earlier,'" Mabel corrected before laughing at her own joke.

Dipper pushed the back button, before high-fiving his sister.

They watched as everything around them froze, before moving in reverse.

Once it stopped, Dipper noticed that his hat was on fire. He quickly patted it out.

The twins then went outside.

"It's 12:00!" Stan announced. "The dunk tank is now open!"

"Do over?" Dipper asked.

Mabel nodded.

Mabel ran over to the pig game. She guessed, "fifteen pounds" before the carnie could finish the question. She then said, "Yes, I am a witch."

"Well, time to round up the mob," the carnie said as he lit a torch.

Dipper found Wendy. "Hey, Wendy."

"There you are," Wendy said before noticing the mark on Dipper's hat. "Hey, what happened to your hat?"

"Nothing. Hey, what's that?"

Wendy noticed the hybrid toy. "I don't know what that is, but I want it."

Dipper gave the carnie a ticket, and received a ball.

He took a breath. "Second chance, Dipper. Don't mess this up."

Dipper threw the ball. This time, he managed to knock down all the bottles.

"Yes!" both Dipper and Wendy cheered.

Then the ball bounced off the wall, and got Wendy in the eye.

"What?" Dipper reacted.

A second later, Robbie showed up with the snow cone. Dipper's eye twitched.

Dipper met up with Mabel, who was busy feeding Waddles a caramel apple.

"The same thing happened twice," said Dipper. "It was spooky."

"Maybe it's a time curse," Mabel suggested.

"Is it possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes? No, I just need to try again. Third time's the charm."

During the third try, Dipper tried tossing the ball with his other hand. Once again, it ricocheted towards Wendy's eye.

The fourth time, Dipper tried swapping spots with Wendy. He tossed the ball. It knocked down the bottles, bounced up, hit one of the toys, then the carnie's head, then Wendy's eye.

The fifth time, Dipper started to question everything.

"Wendy, how badly do you want that stuffed animal?" he asked.

"More than anything in the world," Wendy replied dramatically.

Dipper sighed. He was still worried that his next attempt would fail just like the rest. Wendy noticed his hesitance and sighed.

"If you can't do it, I'll do it myself," she said.

Wendy took the ball from Dipper, and threw it. Once again, the ball bounced back and hit Wendy in the eye.

Dipper tried to use geometry to plan his next attempt.

"Face it, Dipper," said Mabel. "You're obviously fated to fail, just like I'm fated to be with Waddles."

Dipper ignored her. "It's like there's one variable missing." An idea popped into his head. "That's it! I know how to win the toss without hitting Wendy!"

"Awesome. I'm gonna go win my pig again."

"Whoa, you can't go. I need you for my plan."

"What about Waddles?"

"It'll just take a few minutes."

Dipper waited for the right moment to make his throw.

"Dude, are you gonna go?" Wendy asked. Dipper made a gesture to tell her to shut up. He then took a couple breaths, braced himself, and threw the ball high into the air. Wendy sighed. "You missed."

"Did I?" Dipper replied.

The ball rolled down a tent, hit the question mark on the corn dog stand, then rolled down the roof of the Mystery Shack.

Mabel adjusted a water spout into a ramp to launch the ball into the air.

The ball hit the target on a dunk tank, only for Stan to not get dunked. He laughed, satisfied.

The ball then flew back towards the game. Wendy noticed it in time to jump out of the way.

The ball obliterated the bottles, and itself.

"Your stuffed creature of indeterminate species, miss," the carnie said as he handed Wendy her stuffed animal.

"Awesome," she said.

That's when Robbie showed up. "There you are, Wendy."

"Hi, Robbie."

"So I was wondering if you…"

"Look what Dipper got for me." Wendy showed the toy.

Robbie got jealous. "Whatever. Can't even tell what species it is." He used his hood to hide his face.

Wendy rolled her eyes. "What's his deal? Looks like I came to the fair with the right guy."

Dipper got excited. He turned to Mabel, who gave her a thumbs-up.

"Any time, broseph," she said.

Mabel went back to the pig game. She gasped at what she saw.

Pacifica won Waddles before Mabel had the chance.

Mabel screamed and ran to find Dipper.

Meanwhile, Dipper and Wendy got out of the Tunnel of Love.

"That was even better the third time around," Wendy said before noticing the funnel cake. "Ooh, funnel cake. Let's get some."

Dipper was about to follow Wendy when he heard faint screaming. He assumed it was something in his ear and picked it for a second.

Then the screaming got louder. Dipper turned around to see Mabel running towards him, screaming.

"What's…" he was about to ask, before Mabel kept screaming. "I'll wait until you're done."

"I'm done," said Mabel.

"What's wrong?"

"We messed up the timeline. Pacifica won Waddles before I did. She took Waddles, Dipper."

"I'm sorry, Mabel."

"It's fine. We just need to go back and do things differently."

"Wait! I did the math. In any other timeline, Wendy ends up with Robbie. I can't mess this up again."

"But then I'll lose Waddles forever."

Mabel tried to grab the time machine. Dipper fought back. They both tripped and dropped it. The tape got caught on the log, and it started moving, pulling the tape with it.

When it let go, the twins were gone.

The twins woke up in a forest in the middle of nowhere.

"When are we?" Dipper asked.

"You mean, 'when are we?'" Mabel replied before realizing her mistake. "Oh, you already said it, didn't you?"

"Do you hear that?"

The two turned to see a bunch of bison running in their direction. They quickly ran the opposite direction until they ran off a cliff.

They landed in a small wagon.

"What is this, the seventies?" Mabel wondered.

"No, you sent us back 150 years," Dipper replied.

The driver of the wagon turned around and saw Dipper and Mabel.

"By trembley," he said. "Fertilla, it seems you gave birth to two more children."

"It appears I have," said a woman in the back. "More little hands to render the tallow."

"Tallow?" Mabel asked.

One of the other kids on board noticed the silver in Mabel's teeth.

"Her teeth have silver in them, Mother," he said.

"These are called braces," Mabel corrected.

"Mabel, we can't mess with the past," Dipper warned.

"Says the guy who messed with the past all day, and cost me my pig? I'll mess with whatever I want." She showed the kid a calculator, and the blinker on her shoes. She then turned to the woman, Fertilla. "Hey, guess who gets to vote in the future. Ladies!" She raised her hand. "Up-top." Fertilla did the same. Mabel high-fived her. "That's called a high-five. Teach it to your friends."

Dipper snatched the tape measure. "Give me that. I'm gonna make this right."

He sent himself and Mabel forward in time, a little too forward.

The environment seemed like they were far in the future. There was fire everywhere, soldiers with futuristic armors and weapons, and a giant baby floating around destroying everything on site.

"This future seems neat," Mabel remarked.

They went back. They found themselves near the lake.

"I'm coming, Waddles!" Mabel shouted as she took the tape and ran.

Dipper ran after her, not noticing his calculator falling out of his pocket.

They then found themselves back during their first battle with the gnomes. A flower pin fell off of Mabel's hair.

They then found themselves in front of the Mystery Shack during winter. This was clearly before the shack opened, because the sign wasn't there.

"This thing is getting hotter!" Mabel panicked.

"What did you do?" Dipper asked.

"I don't know!"

In a flash of light, the twins were gone.

A thirty-year-younger Stanford Pines heard their screaming. He opened the front door and looked around. He didn't see anyone. He simply brushed it off and went back inside.

When the twins woke up, all they could see were each other's eyes.

"Oh no, we're at the end of time!" Dipper panicked.

Mabel caught a foul stench. "Wait, if this is the end of time, why does it smell so bad here?"

They realized they were in an outhouse. They exited to see that the Mystery Fair was still going on.

"We're back in the present," Dipper said. "But which one?"

He noticed Wendy hugging her stuffed hybrid.

"This is the best present ever," she said.

"Yes!" Dipper cheered.

Mabel noticed Pacifica struggling to carry Waddles.

"No!" she screamed as she tried to grab the tape measure.

Dipper climbed on top of the outhouse.

"Mabel, it's over!" he yelled. "I've worked too hard to lose this!"

"But Waddles is my soulmate!" Mabel retorted.

"You said that about a ball of yarn once! Do you really want Wendy to be with Robbie?"

"I don't know."

Mabel started banging her head on a totem pole. Dipper wasn't falling for it, though.

"You're not guilt tripping me this time," he said. Mabel continued to bang her head. "Come on, I know you. You're gonna forget about this in a day. I'll prove it."

Dipper went forward a day.

Mabel was still banging her head. Now, there was a small cut on her forehead, and blood was dripping down her face.

"Okay, maybe a week," Dipper said.

Dipper went forward a week.

Mabel was still there. The bleeding got a lot worse.

"A month," Dipper tried to assure himself. "She'll be better in a month."

Dipper went forward a month.

Mabel wasn't banging her head anymore. She was laying on the ground, dead.

Soos was walking by with a few tourists.

"And if you look to your left, you'll see Miserable Mabel," said Soos. "The girl who banged her head to death after her dreams were shattered by a heartless jerk." He then noticed Dipper. "Oh, hey Dipper."

Dipper stood in horror knowing that his sister literally killed herself over a pig. He knew he had no one to blame but himself.

"What have I done?" he asked himself.

He then sighed. He knew what he had to do.

Once again, Dipper stood next to Wendy.

"Wendy, just know that people make mistakes, and it's best if you forgive them," he said. "Also, tight pants are overrated."

"Dude, you lost me," Wendy smiled.

He knew he couldn't win her the toy without sacrificing Mabel's chance to win Waddles, but he didn't want to hurt Wendy for the eighth time.

He came up with an idea.

"Wendy, you might wanna duck in case…" he was about to say.

"I thought you'd never ask," Wendy replied as she ducked under.

Dipper sighed. He threw the ball, intentionally missing the target.

The ball hit the wall and bounced back. It flew far away from the booth, right towards Robbie's leg. It hit him right in the shin.

"AH, SON OF A BITCH!" he screamed.

Dipper felt a mix of shock and satisfaction knowing he got Robbie instead of Wendy. He still did his best not to smile.

Wendy ran towards Robbie and grabbed the snow cone he dropped. She used the snow cone to help Robbie.

Seeing the opportunity, Robbie spoke. "You know, I've been meaning to ask you. We've spent so much time together, and I was wondering, do you wanna go out with me?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Wendy replied.

"Sweet."

Wendy and Robbie headed to the Tunnel of Love. Dipper watched with a sad look on his face.

He was then tackled to the ground. Mabel was hugging him.

"Dipper, thank you, thank you, thank you!" she said.

"I couldn't break your heart, Mabel," Dipper replied. "And besides, it's not like Wendy can date Robbie all summer, right?"

That's when Blendin showed up and snatched the time machine.

"You two!" he yelled. "Do you have any idea how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking. I wasn't there with you!" That's when two figures appeared and surrounded Blendin. "Ahh, the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron!"

"That's right," said one of the soldiers. "Our phones have been ringing off the hook. There's settlers high-fiving in the 1800s, and calculators littered through eight centuries."

"You are under arrest for violations of the time-traveler's code of conduct," said the other soldier.

"It was those kids!" Blendin blamed as he was carried away. "I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never meet!"

The twins looked at each other. They were still there.

"I guess he forgot to go back," said Mabel.

Stan had just scammed a bunch of tourists until his pockets were empty. He teased them all, and enjoyed hearing them boo. That's when he noticed two soldiers in the area.

"Hey, biceps and haircut!" he shouted. "Take your best shot!"

The soldier shot the target. It shattered into a million pieces.

The trapdoor opened and dunked Stan in the water.

Dipper and Mabel were enjoying some snow cones.

"So I guess we'll never learn about those time anomalies Blending was looking for," said Mabel.

"I think it was us," Dipper realized. He then noticed Wendy and Robbie sharing a caramel apple. "Great, now I'll have to deal with them all summer."

"Don't worry," said Mabel.

Mabel slapped Waddles and gestured to the apple. Waddles ran towards the apple, scaring away Robbie.

Robbie accidentally hit a pot of hot water. The water poured onto his pants, shrinking them.

Everyone laughed at Robbie, even Wendy.

Dipper turned to Waddles. "That'll do, pig. That'll do."

Meanwhile, Blendin was on trial for his crimes. The judge was none other than Time Baby.

"You have broken the eternal laws of space-time!" said Time Baby.

"I beg your mercy, Time Baby!" Blendin begged.

"You now must clean up all the time anomalies!"

With that, Blendin was sent to clean up his mess.

Chapter 9: Reaching Out

Chapter Text

It was just a typical morning for Wendy Corduroy.

She could feel the sunlight coming through the window. She ignored it, though. She wanted to sleep in. That's what Summer's about after all.

That's when she heard her phone vibrate. Barely opening her eyes, she reached out for her phone. Once she finally got her phone, she turned off her wake-up alarm.

She tried to go back to sleep when she noticed a notification. 'Event Reminder.'

Wendy gulped before hitting the ignore button.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 9

Reaching Out

After getting dressed, Wendy headed to the Mystery Shack as usual. She entered the gift shop and sat in front of the cash register.

She looked around. The only person in the room, other than herself, was Soos, who was busy dusting the shelf like he usually did.

Knowing it'd likely be a while before any customers would show up, Wendy put on some earbuds and started to play some music, something that could keep her distracted all day. She then leaned back and drifted off to sleep.

"Wendy!" came Dipper's voice. Wendy bolted awake to see Dipper coming in. "We have a problem, and it could distract us all day!"

Wendy jumped out of her chair, excited. "Tell me all about it and don't spare a single detail!"

Dipper led Wendy outside. There was a trail of pig tracks that went from the shack to the woods.

"Stan says he took Waddles outside for some fresh air, and he ran off," Dipper explained. "We need to find him before Mabel finds out, or she'll be devastated."

"I'm in," Wendy said with no hesitation. "But do you really think Stan was telling the truth when he said he was just 'taking Waddles out for fresh air?'"

"No. I have a good idea what really happened."

Flashback

Stan led some customers to a new attraction covered in a tarp.

"Folks, I present to you," he said before pausing for dramatic flair. "A unicorn made out of corn, the corn-icorn."

Stan removed the tarp to reveal an animatronic endoskeleton in the shape of a horse, with a few eaten corn cobs around it. The crowd gasped at the horrific site.

Stan was shocked to know what was happening, before he noticed Waddles eating some of the corn.

"What a ripoff," one of the customers whined. "Kids, we're leaving."

The customers turned to the exit.

"No, no!" Stan yelled before angrily turning towards Waddles. "YOU!"

Stan carried Waddles outside.

"Just ten minutes without this pig in the house," he said. "Is that too much to ask?"

Stan set Waddles down, tied a rope around him, and nailed the other end of the rope to the ground.

"There. Oh, and if Mabel asks…" Stan placed a dollar bill next to Waddles. "This never happened."

He turned around and headed back to the shack.

He started to imitate Mabel. "'Oh, but Grunkle Stan, it's not safe out there. There's predators.' Oh, brother. She can be so irritating, am I right?"

Stan turned around to see that Waddles somehow managed to free himself, and was running into the woods. He quickly realized he made a huge mistake.

End of Flashback

Meanwhile, Mabel was watching TV. She couldn't really enjoy what she was seeing knowing the pain Dipper was going through.

"Poor Dipper," she said to herself. "Having to deal with Wendy dating Robbie, unable to face his fears."

"Fears are for chumps," said Stan. "That's why I don't have any."

Stan was busy working on a new exhibit. He tried to get glue from the high shelf. He had trouble reaching it.

"Want me to get the ladder?" Mabel asked.

"We don't have a ladder," Stan replied.

"What?"

"You know, studies show that keeping a ladder inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own ten guns, in case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder."

Mabel wasn't buying it. She mimicked the show she was watching earlier. "Grunkle Stan, why you ackin' so cray-cray?"

"You're the one ackin' cray-cray! I gotta go now."

Stan left the room. Mabel continued to think to herself. "Why would Grunkle Stan be so afraid of ladders?" An idea popped into her mind. "Of course. He has a secret fear of heights. I'll have to test him to be sure, or I could leave him alone." It only took a second for Mabel to make her choice. "Nah!"

Dipper and Wendy followed the tracks deeper into the woods. Wendy held out an ax she brought with her and looked around for any threats. Dipper skimmed through the journal.

"We gotta be careful," he said. "There could be anything lurking around here. Werewolves, bigfoot, gnomes…" He shuddered as he remembered that experience.

"Slenderman!" Wendy shouted.

"Yeah, that too."

"No, look!" Wendy grabbed Dipper's hand and forced him to face the direction she was looking.

In front of them was the slenderman. He was a tall slender figure with no face. He wore a black suit and tie.

"Don't panic," Dipper said as he turned to the page about the slenderman. "We just have to…" He noticed Wendy running towards the slenderman. "Wendy, what are you doing?"

Wendy charged towards the demon with her ax ready. Tentacles sprouted from the slenderman's back, and they reached towards Wendy. Wendy was faster, and she used her ax to slice off the tentacles. The slenderman fell to his knees in pain. Wendy held out her ax as if about to slice his head off. The slenderman backed away and ran deeper into the woods.

"Wendy, what was…?" Dipper was about to ask.

"Woo-hoo!" Wendy cheered, raising her ax in the air. "That was fun!"

Dipper wanted to ask why Wendy was acting the way she was. He quickly shook his head. He needed to focus on finding Waddles.

"Okay," said Mabel. "It's time to begin Operation Get Stan Over his Fear of Heights. I came up with that name." Mabel approached Stan, who was asleep on the couch. She handed him a present. "Happy Great Uncle's Day!"

Stan bolted awake, confused. "I haven't heard of Great Uncle's Day."

"Of course it's not a day I made up!"

Stan opened the box to reveal high heels. He smiled. "High heels? You shouldn't have." His face turned serious. "Seriously, what is this?"

"What's wrong? Are you saying these heels are TOO HIGH for you? Do they make you uncomfortable?"

"Maybe." Stan went to fix the TV.

"Admit it! Admit you have a fear of heights!"

"What? That's why you bought me these? You should be ashamed of yourself, and on Great Uncle's Day no less!" Mabel felt a bit of guilt. "But no, I don't have a fear of heights."

Stan fixed the TV to see it was playing a recording of someone skydiving. He quickly backed away from the screen, screaming, "Turn it off! Turn it off!" He realized he gave himself away. "So I have a fear of heights. Is that really so cray-cray?"

Dipper and Wendy followed the tracks deeper into the woods. At some point, the tracks just stopped.

"Where did the tracks go?" asked Wendy.

"I don't know," Dipper replied. "They just stop here."

"What are you talking about?" asked a third voice.

Dipper and Wendy turned to see Robbie standing there, a familiar pig in his arms.

"Robbie, what are you doing here?" Wendy asked.

"I'd ask you the same thing," Robbie replied.

"We were looking for him," Dipper explained, pointing at Waddles.

"You mean tonight's dinner?" Robbie said nonchalantly.

Dipper couldn't believe what he just heard. "You're telling me you plan to eat him?"

"Why are you making such a big deal out of it? It's just a pig, it doesn't matter."

Images of Mabel killing herself in gruesome ways flashed before Dipper's eyes. He got angry. "HE is not just a pig! HE is my sister's friend!"

"So what? Your sister likes animals or something?"

That was the last straw for Dipper. "You are a horrible person, Robbie! I don't know what Wendy sees in you that makes her want to date AN ASSHOLE LIKE YOU!"

Dipper gasped and covered his mouth. Many bad memories flashed before him.

"You know, you are so hard to bear sometimes!"

"That's rich coming from you! You're a horrible person! I don't know what I saw in you that made me want to date AN ASSHOLE LIKE YOU!"

He turned to Wendy, who had a shocked expression on her face. The look on her face reminded him of how he felt that infamous night. It made him feel horrible. He wanted to take back everything he said. He reached out his hand. "Wendy, I…"

Wendy's look of shock turned to one of rage. She slapped Dipper's hand.

"Get away from me!" she demanded. Robbie approached her. Wendy quickly shifted her wrath onto him. "BOTH of you!"

Wendy ran away, crying.

Robbie angrily turned to Dipper.

"This is all your fault!" he said before tossing Waddles to Dipper. "You can keep your stupid pig! I don't want it anymore!"

Robbie stormed away.

Dipper wanted to find Wendy and apologize to her, but given how she acted, he realized that would be a bad idea. He picked up Waddles.

"Come on, Waddles," he said. "It's time to head home."

Stan was busy chugging a can of cola, minding his own business, when Mabel snuck up behind her.

"Hey Grunkle Stan!" she greeted loudly, causing Stan to spit out his drink. "How would you like to go take a walk nowhere in particular while wearing a blindfold?"

"Beats just sitting around being old," Stan replied as he stood up. He then got suspicious. "Wait a minute. You're not planning on taking me somewhere high up, are you?"

"Grunkle Stan, I would never." Mabel put on a red sweater with a hand holding the peace sign. "Scout's honor."

"Alright, let's go."

Stan walked out. Mabel turned around, revealing the back of her sweater showed a hand with the index and middle fingers crossed. She used her hair to cover that part of her sweater.

After what felt like hours, Dipper finally returned to the Mystery Shack.

He brought Waddles inside. Dipper could tell Waddles was traumatized knowing someone tried to kill him, so he gave him a blanket to warm him up.

He looked around. It didn't seem like anyone was around.

"Mabel? Grunkle Stan?" he called out, just to get no answer. He sighed. "They probably went out or something."

Dipper went back outside. He noticed Wendy's hat lying on the ground. He gasped, worried what might've happened to her.

He then noticed a trail of human-shaped footprints. He picked up the hat and followed the tracks.

As he ran, he worried what horrible things Wendy would do to herself. He felt all this grief knowing if she did hurt herself, it would be all his fault.

Wendy sat at the edge of a cliff. She looked down and saw a great view of the land around her. From anyone else's point of view, it would've been a great way to take your mind off of your problems, but for Wendy, all it did was remind her of it.

Seeing this cliff for the first time was the last happy moment she had with her family before disaster struck.

The arguing.

The front door opening.

The gunshot.

Dipper found Wendy sitting near the edge of a cliff.

Dipper felt a sense of relief knowing that Wendy was alive. He smiled and was about to approach her.

He then stopped himself. He didn't know if Wendy wanted to see him after what he said.

After a second, he stepped closer.

"Can I, uh, sit here?" he asked.

Wendy turned towards Dipper and flinched a bit, having just noticed his presence. It only took a moment for her to regain her composure. She made a gesture that told Dipper he could sit next to her.

Dipper sat next to Wendy and tried to look her in the eye. She didn't look at him, instead staring off into space.

"Wendy, I'm sorry for saying all those things," Dipper apologized as he offered Wendy her hat. "I wasn't thinking straight. I was angry at Robbie and worried about how what he'd do to Waddles would affect Mabel, and I lashed out without thinking. I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore. I wouldn't want to be my friend either."

"Dipper, I understand you didn't mean it," Wendy assured as she took the hat and put it back on. "I wasn't in the best mood today, anyway. I guess your argument was the last straw."

"If you were upset, then why'd you agree to help me?"

Wendy sighed. The topic was painful, but she mustered the courage to speak.

"I don't talk about this because it happened, like, a long time ago, and it's, like, totally not an issue anymore, but, uh…" Wendy pulled out her phone, and revealed a notification that said, 'Event Reminder.' "Today is the anniversary of my mom passing away. That's not an excuse for what I did, like I said, it happened a while ago, so I…"

She turned to Dipper. It looked like he was fighting the urge to cry.

"Didn't want to bring it up," she continued. "She always brought me and my family flowers on our birthdays, so after she passed away, we started picking flowers for each other, then we'd visit her grave, and we'd spend the day together. It was nice, but over time, we all started to drift apart. My dad's so caught up in his work, and my brothers are too busy picking fights with each other to even acknowledge anything else. When you told me about the problem with Mabel's pig going missing, I don't know." Tears formed around her face as she continued. "I felt I needed a distraction. I thought that joining you on your adventure of the week would've helped me forget everything, but I was dumb. I'm sorry."

Wendy turned towards Dipper. He was very close to her face. She screamed and jumped back a bit before regaining her composure.

That's when they both heard screaming coming from further away. Dipper ran to investigate.

Wendy tried to get up, but her legs were wobbly. She had to get on her knees before she could fall off the cliff.

Dipper turned back.

"I don't know what traditions you used to do with your family," he said, blushing. "But I'll help you pick some flowers and we can do something together."

Dipper continued running towards the screams.

Flashback

30 Minutes Earlier…

Mabel led Stan to the top of the water tower. Stan was blindfolded.

"You can remove the blindfold now," Mabel said.

Stan took off the blindfold. He looked down to see all the tiny houses and trees.

You'd expect a narcissistic and greedy man like Stan to brag about how everything looks tiny from where he was at, but that's not how he felt. He felt more terrified than ever.

"That's pretty much what I was expecting," he said as he held onto the rails.

"You're doing better than I thought," said Mabel. "Now let go of the rails."

Stan tightened his grip. "No."

He shivered and shook as he tried to keep his hands on the rails. His shaking caused the tower to shake as well. As a result, one of the legs of the tower was starting to collapse.

Mabel could feel the place falling apart.

"We're safe, right?" she asked.

"Of course not!" Stan snapped. "This thing is on stilts high, high up!"

They both screamed and called for help.

End of Flashback

Dipper reached the water tower. He saw Mabel and Stan hanging on for their lives.

"Don't worry guys!" he shouted. "I'll get you down, once I figure out how to fix this!"

"We're gonna need some plywood!" came Wendy's voice. Dipper turned around to see Wendy with a hammer in one hand and some wood in another. She set them down on the ground and approached Dipper. "Thank you for listening to me. I can't wait to pick flowers with you."

Wendy kissed Dipper on the forehead. Dipper stood there and blushed brightly. He quickly brushed it off and got to work.

Wendy applied some of the wood onto the broken part of the leg. She held it steady while Dipper hammered a nail into the wood.

They repeated the process a few times until the leg was all fixed.

The two then high-fived, satisfied with their work.

Mabel and Stan opened their eyes once they felt the place stop shaking.

"I survived," Stan realized before getting excited. "I survived and I feel great! Wait, let me do a cocky dance just to make sure!" He did a cocky dance, and he was completely fine. He laughed. "Deal with it, world! Stan Pines has cured his fear of heights!" Stan was about to climb down until he noticed Mabel wasn't moving. "You coming down, Mabel?"

Mabel shook her head. "No."

"What, you got a fear of heights now?" Stan realized that that was, in fact, the case. "Uh-oh."

Later that night, Dipper met up with Wendy at the cliff with some dandelions in hand.

"Find any good ones?" he asked.

"Nope," Wendy sighed, looking at the petalless flowers she was holding. "What about you?"

"All I could find were dandelions." Dipper showed the dandelions.

Wendy held the dandelions and smiled. "Those were her favorite flowers. I don't know why I didn't think to look for those. My head's really on backwards today. Now what?"

"Make a wish."

Wendy didn't believe in wishes, but she went along with it. She closed her eyes, and blew the dandelions. Their fuzz flew away.

"Do you think they'll reach her in the afterlife?" Dipper asked.

"It probably doesn't work that way," Wendy replied. "But it's a nice thought."

Wendy returned home. She was about to head to her room when she felt someone wrap their arms around her.

She turned around to see her brothers and father standing around her. They all hugged her one at a time.

Wendy was surprised at first. This was the first time in so long she really felt like she and her family were together. In the end, she accepted it. It was nice to know that they were all there for her.

Chapter 10: Summerween

Chapter Text

The Pines family parked at the nearby store, right over the blocker.

"Here we are," said Stan. "Spirit Summerween."

"Wait, Summer what?" Dipper asked.

"Summerween." Stan showed a calendar. "The people in this town love Halloween so much, they celebrate it twice a year, hence Summerween, which is today."

"Do you always carry that calendar in your pocket?"

Stan looked away hesitantly, before finally answering. "Yes."

"Summerween?" Mabel wondered. "Something about this feels unnatural."

"There's free candy," said Soos.

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other for a second before smiling.

"To the costume aisle!" the twins cheered as they raced into the store.

Soos walked around until he found these little skull toys. He pressed the skull nervously.

"I'd lend you a hand, but I don't seem to have any," the skull said. "Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!"

Soos chuckled. "This guy tells it like it is."

"Sir, could you please stop doing that?" an overworked employee asked.

"Make these less hilarious and you got yourself a deal."

The employee sighed before walking away.

Stan found some barrels of fake blood.

"When the children come to my door tonight, they're gonna run away screaming from Stan Pines, Master of Fright!" he laughed. He then turned and noticed a nearby baby being carried by his mother. "Boo!"

The baby started crying.

The same employee from earlier heard the baby crying. She turned and saw Stan's fake blood barrel leaking, Soos pushing all the skulls, and the twins running around like children.

"Have the police come and eject the Pines family from the premises," she said to someone on a walkie.

"Not today!" Stan screamed.

Stan threw a smoke bomb, blinding the employee long enough for the family to escape.

"You paid for this stuff, right?" Mabel asked as the four got in the car.

"Of course," Stan lied.

The employee looked at the 'Stan Buck' she was given. It was just a poorly made counterfeit dollar with Stan's face on it instead of Washington's.

"I hate Summerween," she complained.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 10

Summerween

"I'm so excited!" Mabel said as she sat next to Dipper. "We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy, and have the biggest stomach aches ever!"

"Yeah!" Dipper cheered as the twins high-fived.

"I've never seen either of you so pumped," Soos remarked. He was now wearing a shirtless superhero costume.

"Back home, me and Dipper were kinda the king and queen of trick-or-treating," Mabel explained as she showed a Halloween scrapbook she made. She showed different photos of their matching costumes, like salt and pepper. "Twins in costumes, the people eat it up."

"You dudes better be careful out there. It's a night of ghouls and goblins, not to mention…" Soos turned off the lights, turned on a flashlight, and pointed it at himself for dramatic effect. "The Summerween Trickster. The Trickster goes door to door, so the legend goes, eating children who lack the Summerween spirit."

"You don't have to worry about us," said Dipper. "We've got plenty of spirit to go around." Dipper tried to eat a piece of candy, just to choke on it. He was able to cough it out. "What is this stuff? I've never even heard of these brands." He looked at the different candies. "Sand Pop? Gummy Chairs? Mr. Adequate-Bar? These are all cheap knockoffs!"

"Quiet your discontent, dude," Soos warned. "Lest the Trickster overhear."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Your cape is caught in your fly, Soos."

Soos looked down to see his cape was caught. "Touche."

"Goodbye loser candy," Dipper said as he threw the candy out the window.

That's when he heard the doorbell ring.

"Trick-or-treaters!" Stan shouted. "Quick, give them that terrible candy!"

Dipper grabbed the bowl and went to answer the front door.

He was surprised to see none other than Wendy at the door. He screamed and dropped the bowl of candy.

"'Sup, Dipper?" she greeted.

"Wendy!" Dipper blushed as he backed off. He accidentally hit his leg against the stairs. "What's up, guys?"

"I left my jacket here again." Wendy noticed the bowl of candy. "What's with the candy? Are you gonna go trick-or-treating?"

"Actually, uh…" Dipper couldn't bring himself to say anything.

"What am I saying? Of course you're not going."

Dipper chuckled nervously. "Yeah. Trick-or-treating is for babies."

"You should come to this party with me and my friends. Tambry's parents are out of town and it's gonna be off the chain."

Wendy gave Dipper a flier.

TAMBRY'S SUMMERWEEN PARTY

BOTTLES WILL BE SPUN

NO PHOTOS BETTER END UP ONLINE!

9:00

Dipper noticed Wendy about to leave. Seeing his chance, he took it.

"Wendy, I'll see you at the party!" he shouted.

"It's at nine!" Wendy said as she got in Tambry's car with the rest of her friends. "Don't forget!"

Dipper watched as the car drove away. He then looked at Mabel's scrapbook and the flier. He didn't know what to choose.

"What am I gonna tell Mabel?" he asked himself.

Later, Mabel and her friends were talking when Stan showed up.

Stan was dressed like a vampire.

Mabel was dressed up as Batgirl.

Candy was dressed up as, well, candy.

Grenda was dressed up as a witch.

Evan had a more interesting costume. He wore starry pajamas that were dark blue on one side, and light gray on the other. He wore a purple nightcap that covered the back of his head. Some of his face was painted blue, making the unpainted part look like a crescent moon.

"Grunkle Stan, meet my best friends, Evan, Candy, and Grenda," Mabel introduced.

"I am so sweet I can eat myself," said Candy.

"Hello, Mr. Pines!" Grenda waved hello.

"You got a cold, honey?" Stan asked, uncomfortable hearing Grenda's masculine voice. "Something wrong with your voice, there?"

"What do you mean? Why would you say that?"

Stan left without saying another word.

"Is Waddles coming?" Evan asked.

"I wish he could, but he's got important meetings to attend," Mabel replied. That's when Waddles showed up dressed as a businessman. Mabel picked him up and imitated him. "File these documents under 'I' for 'I have a curly tail.'"

All four laughed at Mabel's joke.

"What about your brother?" asked Grenda.

"Oh man, just wait until you see Dipper's costume," Mabel replied. "It's amazing! Here he comes now!"

Dipper showed up in his usual outfits.

"That is a very good Dipper costume," Candy remarked.

Mabel knew better. She approached Dipper, concerned.

"What the hey, bro," she said. "Where's your costume?"

"I can't go trick-or-treating," Dipper replied. "I'm really sick. Must've been that bad candy. Go on without me."

"Fight it, man. Where's your Summerween spirit?"

That's when they heard a bang on the door. Dipper answered. A strange tall man dressed as a faceless scarecrow was at the door with a treat bag.

"Trick or treat!" he said menacingly.

"Aren't you a little old for this?" Dipper asked, suspicious.

"No. You're never too old for free candy."

Dipper slammed the door without saying another word.

"Dipper, why?" Mabel asked.

"I told you, I'm not feeling it tonight," Dipper replied before faking a cough.

Mabel wasn't buying it. "I think a little trick-or-treating might make you feel better."

"I'm not trick-or-treating!" That's when they heard another knock on the door. Dipper answered to see it was the same scarecrow. "I told you, go bother someone else!"

Dipper slammed the door again.

"Dipper, where's your Summerween hospitality?!" Mabel yelled.

They heard a louder bang on the door.

"I'm not getting it," said Dipper.

"Well I am!" said Mabel. Mabel answered the door. "I apologize for my brother. He came down with a case of the grumpy-grumps…"

"Silence!" the scarecrow yelled. "You have insulted me, and for this you must pay, with your lives!"

"Twick or tweat!" came a five-year-old boy. "I'm Gorney."

The scarecrow grabbed Gorney, opened an inhumane mouth, and swallowed the kid whole.

"AH!" everyone screamed.

"Gorney!" Grenda shouted.

"There's only one way to avoid his fate," said the scarecrow. "I need a treat. If you can collect 500 pieces of candy, and bring them to me before the last jack-o-melon goes out, I'll let you live. The choice is yours, children. You must trick-or-treat… or die."

The kids watched as the scarecrow climbed on top of the shack and disappeared into the darkness.

"Mabel, do you know what this means?" Dipper asked.

"I do," Mabel replied with a grin. "It means you have to come trick-or-treating! Yay!"

"Who was that?" Evan asked.

"It's the legend Soos told us about," Dipper realized. "The Summerween Trickster."

Evan started to panic. "What do we do?!"

"What's going on out here, dudes?" Soos asked as he entered the scene. "I heard a ruckus. That's a funny word."

"Soos, a monster's forcing us to trick-or-treat by threatening to eat us," Dipper explained.

"I got a picture," Evan added as he showed a picture he took.

"The Summerween Trickster," Soos recognized. "Oh man, dude. You guys are in trouble!"

"How are we gonna get 500 pieces of candy in one night?" Dipper paced back and forth in a panic. "There's no way!"

Mabel climbed on top of a haystack and clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. "Listen up, people! Some might say that being cursed by a bloodthirsty holiday monster is a bad thing, but that monster messed with the wrong crew! With Candy's spirit, Grenda's strength, Evan's perseverance, Dipper's brains, and… Soos here, we'll get 500 pieces of candy and have fun doing it too, even if it takes all night!"

Dipper remembered that the party was at 9:00. It was currently 6:00. He knew there was no way they could get 500 pieces of candy in three hours.

"Guys, I'm sick, remember?" he continued to lie.

"Bro, what's worse?" Mabel replied. "Getting eaten or going trick-or-treating with us?"

Mabel didn't give Dipper time to answer the question. She grabbed his hand and carried him away.

Dipper carried a little cart for the candy while everyone else carried treat bags.

"I don't see why we can't just buy the candy and be done with it," Dipper said.

"We aren't made of money, Dipper," Mabel reminded. "And besides, that kinda takes the fun out of trick-or-treating."

The gang reached the house of Lazy Susan.

"Trick or treat!" all of them except Dipper said.

"Is everybody in costume?" Susan asked as she looked at each kid and gave then nicknames. Grenda. "Chimney sweep…" Soos. "Elephant man…" Candy. "Squeegee…" Mabel. "Bat girl." And Dipper. "What are you supposed to be?"

"I'm not…" Dipper was about to say.

"He's a moody teenager who doesn't like Halloween!" Mabel interrupted.

Susan looked at the twins skeptically before relenting. She gave each of the kids one piece of candy.

"Enjoy!" she said before slamming the door.

Candy looked at her piece. "Black licorice? This is loser candy!"

"Five pieces of candy?" Dipper reacted. "This will take forever!"

"We gotta up our game," said Mabel. "You gotta put on your costume!"

Seeing no other choice, Dipper finally sighed and relented.

"Introducing for the first time in public," Mabel announced. Dipper came out wearing a Robin costume. "Ta-da! Batgirl and Robin!"

"Ah," everyone else said in unison.

"I'll make you two internet famous," Evan said as he pulled out his phone.

"Erase that!" Dipper demanded. "Let's just get this over with, okay?"

"Over with! Over with!" everyone else cheered as they marched on.

"Are you sure this is gonna work?" Dipper asked as he rang the doorbell.

A tall, edgy man answered the door. He stared at them menacingly.

Dipper threw a birdarang in a random direction. Mabel used her grappling hook to pull a nearby tin can towards her.

"Twins!" they said in unison.

The man smiled and shed a tear. He then dumped the entire bowl of candy into their bags.

The twins met up with the rest as they filled the cart with candy.

Mabel was counting the amount of candy she was putting in the bag. "34, 35…"

"Thirty-six," Candy interrupted as she jumped in the cart.

They both giggled at Candy's joke.

They continued splitting up and visiting houses to get as much candy as possible.

After a while, they managed to get a total of 499.

"We did it!" Mabel cheered. "All we need is one more piece of candy."

"And it's only 8:30," Dipper added as he checked his watch. "Perfect timing!"

"And your cough went away too," Mabel remarked as she hugged Dipper.

"Dude, I'm gonna go around and grab the truck," said Soos. "Soos away!"

"Last one to the final house is a pair of wax lips!" said Mabel.

Mabel and her friends raced to the last house.

"This is perfect," said Dipper. "I can go to Wendy's party and no one needs to know I went trick-or-treating."

That's when Dipper noticed Wendy coming by in a van. He quickly hid the candy behind a bush and took off his costume.

The van stopped. Wendy rolled down the window.

"Hey Dipper!" she called.

"Hey, Wendy," Dipper greeted, doing his best to act normal. "What's up?"

"Are you coming to the party? What are you doing out here?"

"I'm on my way. I like watching the trick-or-treaters. It reminds me of when I was a kid."

"Okay. You're coming, right?"

"Definitely." The van drove away. Dipper waved goodbye. "Later!"

"You're going to a party?" came Mabel's voice.

Dipper turned around to see Mabel and her friends staring at him with both shock and disappointment.

"Hey, I…" Dipper was interrupted when Mabel threw a piece of candy in his eye.

"That's why you were acting sick and trying to hurry us!" Mabel yelled. "If it wasn't for this crazy monster, you were gonna ditch me, on our favorite holiday! What happened to the Dipper who used to love Halloween?"

"Relax, I left it right here, behind this bush," Dipper assured as he pulled out the candy. Thankfully, it was all intact. Dipper picked up the piece of candy that was thrown at him and put it in the cart. "See? We got all the candy, just in time for the party, so now we all have the best of both worlds."

Mabel glared at Dipper, as if about to slap him.

"Guys, look!" Evan shouted.

Everyone looked to see that the jack-o-melons were all out. The Summerween Trickster approached them.

"Knock knock," he said menacingly. "So, children, where's my candy?"

"It's right here," Dipper replied as he grabbed the cart and gave it to the Trickster. "All 500 pieces."

The Trickster opened its big mouth and sucked all 500 pieces into it.

"So, we can go now, right?" asked Evan.

The Trickster laughed before reaching towards Dipper. It grabbed him and lifted him into the air.

"Dipper!" Mabel shouted.

She fired her grappling hook. Dipper grabbed onto it. Mabel pulled as hard as she could. It wasn't enough to save Dipper.

The Trickster yanked just a little, but it was just enough to pull Mabel into the air. He caught her in his other hand.

"Run!" Evan screamed.

He, Candy, and Grenda all tried to run away. The Trickster just sprouted three more arms and grabbed all three of them.

The Trickster laughed maniacally as it prepared to eat the kids…

Then a truck ran it over, causing it to shatter into a million pieces.

"We're alive!" Evan cheered.

The truck pulled over. The window opened to reveal Soos.

"That wasn't a regular pedestrian, was it?" he asked.

"Soos!" Dipper and Mabel smiled.

"It was the monster," Mabel explained.

"Thanks, Soos," Dipper thanked before turning to Mabel. "I'm just glad it's over. Right?"

Mabel simply looked away with a pout.

Dipper quickly went back to retrieve his Robin costume.

The kids got in the truck.

"Everyone remembered to put on their seatbelts?" Soos asked.

"Yes," most of the kids replied. Mabel just silently nodded.

As they drove off, Mabel noticed some bits of fuzz floating by. When she turned to get a better look, she realized the fuzz was the pieces of the Trickster.

"Guys!" she called.

Everyone turned to see the Trickster reform itself. It jumped onto the truck.

Soos managed to swerve and hit a lamppost. That forced the Trickster off the truck.

Unfortunately, Soos ended up losing control. He swerved right towards Spirit Summerween.

"Brakes, brakes, brakes!" Dipper screamed.

Soos managed to slam the brakes. Sadly, they hit the store's entrance, then the airbags came out, hitting everyone sitting in front.

All the kids coughed out the dust that came from the airbags.

Dipper noticed that Soos seemed to have fallen asleep.

"Soos, now's not the time to fall asleep!" he yelled. No response. "Soos! Soos?" Still no response. This made Dipper worried. "Oh no."

Evan turned around to see the Trickster gaining on them.

"We gotta go!" he said.

The kids got out of the truck and tried to get inside. Sadly, the truck blocked the door, so they couldn't get in through there.

"Stand back!" Grenda said as she grabbed a nearby stone.

Grenda swung her arm for a bit before throwing the stone at the window.

The window didn't break. The stone bounced right back. The kids had to duck to avoid getting hit. The stone hit the Trickster in the head, tearing it off.

The kids knew it wouldn't last. They needed to come up with something fast.

"Everyone, hold me!" Mabel eventually ordered.

Everyone grabbed onto Mabel. Evan did feel a bit weird holding Mabel's arm, but he did his best not to freak out.

Mabel grabbed her grappling hook and aimed it at the roof. She fired the hook, and it landed on the roof with no problem. The five of them were pulled off the ground. They screamed as they struggled to keep their grip.

After a few seconds, they landed on the roof. They stood up and got their bearings.

They turned and noticed the Trickster reattached its head.

"How are we gonna stop this thing?" asked Evan.

"Leave that to me," Dipper replied.

Everyone turned around to see Dipper back in his Robin costume.

"Where'd you go, children?" the Trickster asked as he looked around.

"Over here, scarecrow!" Dipper shouted.

Dipper stood on the edge of the roof and spread his cape out as far as he could.

Dipper then jumped off the roof, intending to glide towards the monster. Sadly, gravity had other plans, and he fell straight down, flat on his face.

"Dipper!" Mabel shouted.

"Girls, I found a way in!" Evan called.

The girls turned to Evan, who gestured towards a small door. Seeing no other option, they all went through it.

Thankfully, the door led them into the store. They looked through the window and saw the Trickster holding Dipper.

As upset as she was, Mabel was genuinely worried for Dipper.

She noticed a barrel of fake blood and got an idea.

The four friends grabbed the barrel and flipped it sideways.

"Alright, on three," said Mabel. "One, two…"

Evan got extremely nervous, and pushed the barrel too soon. The barrel started rolling towards the window.

The girls glared at Evan. He smiled nervously and blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry."

The barrel slowed down the closer it got to the window. Once it reached the window, the barrel hit it a tiny bit.

After a second, the glass started to crack until it shattered completely.

Grenda was dumbfounded. "So it works for you and not for me?"

While the Trickster was distracted keeping glass shards from getting in its eyes, Mabel snuck behind it and grabbed Dipper, pulling him to safety.

The twins made a run for it before they could be found. They managed to find an empty bottom shelf to hide under.

Candy and Grenda found another shelf. They hid under that one.

Sadly, there was no room for Evan. He had to hide behind the aisle.

"Everyone, stay quiet," Dipper whispered.

"Oh, now you're worried about the monster?" Mabel asked. "I thought all you cared about was Wendy."

"Mabel, you know that isn't true." Dipper had to quiet down when he heard the Trickster pass by. "I just felt I was getting a little too old to go trick-or-treating."

"That's exactly why we need to go trick-or-treating, Dipper. We're getting older, and there's not many Halloweens left." She cried as the memory of the argument came back to her. "For all we know, this is our last one."

"We have to escape," said Candy.

"What if it sees us?" asked Grenda.

"If only there was something we could use to cover our bodies and faces with, like a disguise," said Evan.

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other as an idea came to their minds.

It took a few seconds, but the kids managed to disguise themselves as cloaked skeletons using the costumes on the shelves. When the Trickster wasn't looking, they went to another shelf.

The Trickster passed by them. It hit a clothing hanger, where Candy and Grenda were hiding.

Thankfully, the Trickster didn't notice them. The kids quickly headed for the exit.

As they ran, Evan accidentally hit one of the talking skull toys. He realized his mistake and was able to grab it before it could fall.

He sighed in relief and placed his hand against the shelf. He accidentally pressed another one of the skulls.

"No matter the score, I'm always ahead!" it said. "Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!"

The Trickster noticed Evan. It ate him before he had the chance to react.

"Evan!" the girls screamed.

"Hey monster!" Dipper called.

The four removed their cloaks to reveal plastic weapons. They ran towards the monster and tried chopping it up.

Grenda successfully used her ax to chop off the monster's arm. Some crumbs fell onto her face. She licked them out of curiosity.

"Saltwater taffy?" she reacted. "Gross!"

Dipper felt some crumbs land on his tongue as well.

"It is," he said. "How?"

"You haven't figured it out yet?" the Trickster asked as he grabbed all of them. "Don't you recognize me? Look at my face. Look closely."

Everyone got a closer look at the face. It was made of candy.

"Loser candy," Mabel realized.

"That's right," said the Trickster. "Did you ever stop to think about the candy at the bottom of the bag that no one likes? Every year the children of Gravity Falls throw away all of the 'rejected candy' into the dump, so I seek revenge on the picky children who cast me aside. I'm made of every piece of black licorice, every discarded bar of old chocolate with that white powder, you know what I'm talking about?"

"Yes, and I hate that stuff."

"No one would eat me, so I'm gonna eat you…"

Before the Trickster could finish, he felt someone biting his leg. He turned to see a certain overweight middle-aged man eating his leg.

"'Sup?" he asked nonchalantly.

The Trickster started puking out little bits of candy as it fell to the floor.

"Dudes, you want some of this?" Soos asked as he offered some of the candy to the kids. They all shook their heads.

"Wait, you actually think I taste good?" the Trickster asked.

"Sure, you know."

"All I ever wanted was for someone to say I was good." The Trickster cried tears of candy corn. "I'm so happy."

"The crying makes it weird, but I guess I'm still eating it."

That's when Evan and Gorney climbed out of the stomach.

"'Sup, you two?" said Soos.

"I've been twaumatized!" Gorney shouted while keeping his smile.

"Yeah, me too," Evan said as he shivered in fear.

The gang returned to the Mystery Shack.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan," the twins said in unison.

"Hello, Mr. Pines," said the rest.

"How's it hanging?" Stan asked.

Dipper turned and noticed Wendy carving a jack-o-melon.

"Hey, Dipper," she waved. "I didn't see you at the party. Where were you?"

Dipper was hesitant to tell the truth, but Mabel gave him a thumbs-up. That was all he needed.

"I was trick-or-treating with my sister," he said with a confident smile.

"I'm sorry you missed the party, but I'm glad you had fun," said Wendy. "Robbie ate one lollipop stick and had to go home sick."

"At least he hadacandy," said Mabel. "We went to every single house but we didn't get to eat any candy."

"Candy?" Stan reacted as he revealed two large sacks of candy. "How's that for candy?"

The twins smiled at each other.

"And now back to The Nightmare on Elm Street," said the announcer on TV.

Everyone sat and ate as much candy as they could while enjoying the movie marathon. Mabel bandaged up the scrapes Dipper got on his face from falling off the roof.

"You know, kids?" said Stan. "I've been thinking, Summerween isn't about candy or costumes or even scaring people. It's a day where friends and family can get together in one place and celebrate what really matters, pure evil!"

Stan started laughing maniacally. Instead of questioning it, everyone laughed with him for a bit before stopping abruptly.

"I ate a man alive tonight," Soos said calmly. Stan and Wendy turned to him, stunned.

Play "Nine to Five" by Dolly Parton

The next day, Mabel and Dipper took a set of pictures of everyone in their costumes.

Working nine to five, what a way to make a living

First they took a picture showing Grenda in her witch costume pretending to hypnotize Candy.

Barely getting by, it's all taking and no giving

The next picture showed Candy in her candy costume looking horrified while Grenda was making a maniacal laugh, as if she cursed Candy.

They just use your mind and they never give you credit

In the next one, Candy was gone. Instead, Waddles was there, implying Grenda turned Candy into a pig.

It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

The next picture showed Dipper in his Robin costume throwing a birdarang at Grenda.

Nine to five, for service and devotion

The next picture showed Grenda dodging the birdarang.

You would think that I would deserve a fair promotion

The next one showed Mabel popping up in her Batgirl costume.

Want to move ahead but the boss won't seem to let me

The next one showed Mabel using her grappling hook to tie up Grenda.

I swear sometimes that man is out to get me

Finally, they took a picture of Waddles asleep, with Dipper and Mabel comforting him. There was an added caption, Pigged Out.

End "Nine to Five"

Chapter 11

Chapter Text

"Watch out, Gravity Falls," Toby Determined said on the radio. "We're looking at the hottest day of the summer."

Everyone in the Mystery Shack was burning to death.

Dipper tried to fan himself with his hat. It barely did anything.

Mabel sat next to Dipper, breathing hard.

Stan tried to refrigerate himself with ice cream. All that did was make him sick.

Soos laid on the carpet in his underwear.

"All in favor of doing nothing all day, say ah," said Dipper.

Everyone groaned.

"On the bright side," Toby continued. "Pun very much intended, it's opening week at the Gravity Falls pool."

"Gravity Falls pool?" Mabel bolted up in excitement.

"Today?" Dipper added.

"Pun intended?" said Soos.

"Quick, to the car!" Stan yelled as he tried and failed to get up. "Kids, a little help here?"

Dipper and Mabel used some spatulas to help Stan up. Soos could only watch the disgusting site in horror.

"Alright, let's go!" Stan said.

He turned around to reveal the wood he was laying on was attached to his back.

"And remember to be alert for random wildfires," Toby finished his announcement.

Stan opened the door right as he processed that last statement. "Wait, what?"

Then the boards on his back caught on fire. Stan screamed in pain.

"He'll be fine," Dipper said.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 11

The Deep End

The Pines family reached the town pool.

"Ah, the pool," said Mabel. "Sparkling oasis of summer enchantment."

"Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers," Stan sarcastically remarked. "It's like the bus, but wet."

Dipper noticed the towel Soos was holding. It was a pink towel with the words, 'SUMMER FUN' in big green letters. There was a sun on it wearing sunglasses.

"Why would the sun need sunglasses?" he asked.

"It's best not to think about it," Soos replied.

"Hey Mabel," a voice called.

Mabel turned around to see it was Evan. "Oh, hey Evan."

Evan smiled and blushed. "Fancy seeing you here. There was something I've been wanting to say…"

Mabel's attention diverted away. "Hold that thought, Evan. Who's that?"

Nearby, an older man was relaxing in the pool in front of a convenient set of pool noodles. He had a long mullet blowing in the wind. He was wearing nothing but a necklace with a shell on it.

"Oh, him?" Evan asked. "I never see him outside the pool. Some call him a 'mysterious loner'."

"Is it hot out here or is it that guy?" Mabel asked with a blush on her face.

"It's the hottest day of the year, Mabel."

Evan noticed Mabel's eyes and smile grow wider. He realized what this meant. He walked away sadly.

"You're clearly enamored by him," said Soos. "Go to him."

Mabel gladly ran off. She got her foot stuck in a bucket, she ran over some men sitting and minding their own business, and she got her other foot stuck on an empty seat, but she didn't stop.

"So beautiful," Soos smiled.

"Mabel's all talk," Dipper said, unfazed. "She's never even kissed a guy before. She always messes it up somehow."

"Oy, women," Stan sighed and shook his head.

That's when he got hit with a water balloon.

Stan looked up and noticed Wendy sitting on the high chair.

"Hey, Mr. Pines," she greeted.

"Wendy?" Stan reacted. "Where's the lifeguard?"

"Iamthe lifeguard. I make the rules, sucka!"

Wendy started throwing water balloons at Stan. Stan ran to find cover.

Dipper turned to Wendy and blushed. "You work here?"

"I found out lifeguards get free snack privileges," Wendy explained. "Plus, I get the best seat in the house."

"Yeah, you do!" Dipper laughed for a bit before realizing how awkward it was. "I've been laughing for too long."

"Dude, are you and Wendy having a secret staring contest?" Soos asked. "'Cause I think you're winning."

Dipper pushed Soos away. He then turned back to Wendy.

"So, wanna chuck more water balloons at Grunkle Stan?" he asked.

"I'd love to, but I have other things to do," Wendy replied, gesturing to Pacifica, who was running across the pool. She blew her whistle and started speaking on a microphone. "Hey, North-wretch, no running around the pool!"

"You can't tell me what to do!" Pacifica retorted.

"Actually, I can." Wendy showed off her whistle. "I'm the new lifeguard!"

"So?"

Dipper approached Pacifica.

"You might want to listen to her," he threatened.

Pacifica backed away from Dipper, blushing brighter than before. To everyone watching, she looked like a big red tomato. Some couldn't resist the urge to laugh.

Pacifica ran out of the pool.

"Yeah, you better run!" Wendy shouted through her megaphone. "And don't come back, you hear?"

Dipper approached Wendy and they fist-bumped.

Dipper then noticed a buff blonde man wearing a lifeguard uniform doing push-ups with the tips of his pointer fingers.

"Who's that?" he asked.

"Oh, that's Mr. Poolcheck, my boss," she replied.

Mr. Poolcheck turned towards Dipper with a stern glare. Dipper couldn't help but feel unsettled.

Mabel swam underwater until she reached the hot dude. She popped out of the water, startling him.

"How crazy it is we bumped into each other despite not knowing each other," she said.

"How long have you been underwater?" the man asked.

"That doesn't matter." Mabel coughed out a bit of water. "So hey, my name's Mabel."

"Hola."

"Whoa, you speak Spanish?"

"Ha. I'm charmed by your sense of humor and your bold lack of water wings."

"You're so funny, and your hair is beautiful."

"No, it has silly tangles."

Mabel pulled a comb out of the water. "Mind if I…"

Mabel started combing before she even finished her own question. The man was impressed.

"Why, Mabel, you are so forward," he said.

This is it, he likes you,Mabel thought to herself.Go for it, Mabel! It's time! Ask him out on a date!

"So, hey, you wanna go dry off?" she asked. "Maybe hit the snack bar, or…"

"I'm afraid I cannot," the man replied. "For I have a terrible secret. I must go."

The man swam to the other side of the pool. Mabel was upset, yet intrigued.

Stan led Soos to a very particular chair.

"Here she is, Soos," he said. "Equidistant from the snack bar and the bathroom, just the right amount of sun and shade, and pointed away from where Old Man McGucket lotions himself."

He gestured to McGucket, who was busy lotioning his belly in a way that everyone in the pool found disgusting.

"The perfect lawn chair," Stan finished. "The legends are true, Soos. I can't believe it wasn't already taken, and now to sit on it, thereby claiming it as my own."

Stan sat on the chair, and prepared to lean back. He didn't feel the back of the chair. He felt a foot.

"What?!" he shouted.

He turned around to see none other than Gideon smiling at him while lotioning his face.

"Why, hello Stanford," he smiled.

"Get out of my chair, kid!" Stan demanded.

"Oh my, was this your chair? I had no idea." Gideon lowered his voice. "Yes I did, Stan. I knew."

Gideon laid on the back of the chair, where Stan already placed his 'Property of Stan' towel.

"Move it, you little troll!" Stan ordered.

"First come, first serve," Gideon retorted as he rolled back and forth on the towel.

"I'LL FIRST SERVE YOU!"

Stan grabbed Gideon and prepared to chuck him into the pool, but then he heard a whistle blow.

Stan turned to see Wendy glaring at him.

"Stanford Pines, leave that poor child alone!" she yelled.

"You aren't my boss, Wendy!" Stan argued. "I'myourboss!"

"You were the boss before, but now I'm the boss! I'm a lifeguard, remember?"

"What? I…" Stan turned to Gideon. "Fine, you win this round, Gideon, but this isn't over!"

Mabel popped out of the water once again, surprising the stranger.

"Hi there!" she shouted as she gave the man a soggy sandwich. "I brought you a sandwich. It's wet, but it's still good. I like sharing things. Sandwiches, secrets… share your secret, beautiful sandwich."

"That sandwich does look delicious," the man admitted. "Very well. I will tell you my secret, but you must never tell another living soul my terrible secret."

Mabel nodded.

"You have to stay away from me because I am…" The stranger removed the set of noodles revealing his bottom torso was a fishtail. "A merman!"

"Oh, thank goodness," Mabel sighed in relief. "I thought you were gonna say you have a girlfriend. A merman, I should've known. That would explain what Evan said earlier about you never being seen outside of the pool."

"Who's Evan?"

"Just a friend. Anyway, how old are you? Your voice is so deep and masculine."

"I am twelve years old. Mermans hit puberty when they're, like, three."

"So, what's your name?"

"Some call me…" The merman played a guitar for dramatic flair. "Mermando. That's because Mermando is my name."

"But I don't understand, Mermando. What's a guy like you doing in a public pool?"

"It's a tragic story, Mabel. I was swimming with my friends, The Mighty Dolphins, in the Gulf of Mexico, when I was ensnared. The cargo was headed for Gravity Falls. Using all my strength, I tried to race back home, but it was not to be. I would've died of dehydration if not for the kindness of the forest animals, but now that you know who I am, you must be seriously weirded out."

"What?! I don't care if you're a merman! You're the coolest guy I ever met, and you can play the guitar!"

"Oh, Mabel, never have I met a human as kind as you. Would you like to join me in a song?"

"Oh yes, Mermando! Yes!"

Mabel held Mermando's cheeks. Mermando struggled to breathe.

"Mabel, you're covering my gills," he said.

Mabel quickly uncovered them. They both laughed a bit.

Stan stared angrily as Gideon covered his chubby baby face in lotion and was admired by everyone within a 15-inch radius.

"Look at him," he said to himself. "That smug chair-stealing jerk, but I can't touch him or Wendy will throw me out."

As Stan pondered, he felt a bit of sunlight get in his eye. He realized he inadvertently reflected some sunlight through his watch. This gave him an idea.

Stan started reflecting the sunlight towards Gideon.

"Yes, burn the demon child," he laughed.

Right as the light was about to blind Gideon, he grabbed a small mirror. It reflected the sunlight back into Stan's eyes.

"Ah, my eyes!" he screamed as he fell into the pool.

"Deal with it," said Gideon.

Nearby, Soos was putting on a duck floatie.

"Soos," the floatie said.

"Inflatable duck guy, is that you?" Soos asked excitedly.

"Yes, Soos, I can talk."

"Yes, I knew you can secretly talk."

Soos didn't notice Dipper and Wendy laughing before shushing each other.

Dipper took the megaphone and did his own imitation. "My people have been enslaved, Soos. You must free us."

"The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand," Soos said.

Play "Mermando" - Parody of "Fernando" by ABBA

Mermando played his guitar while Mabel sang.

Mabel:

Can you hear the drums Mermando?

I remember long ago another starry night like this

In the firelight Mermando

You were humming to yourself and softly strumming your guitar

I could hear the distant drums

And sounds of bugle calls were coming from afar

They were closer now Mermando

Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally

I was so afraid Mermando

We were young and full of life and none of us prepared to die

And I'm not ashamed to say

The roar of guns and cannons almost made me cry

There was something in the air that night

The stars were bright, Mermando

They were shining there for you and me

For liberty, Mermando

Though I never thought that we could lose

There's no regret

If I had to do the same again

I would, my friend, Mermando

If I had to do the same again

I would, my friend, Mermando

Yes, if I had to do the same again

I would, my friend, Mermando

End "Mermando"

That's when they heard a whistle blow.

Mabel and Mermando turned and saw Mr. Poolcheck driving around in a small vehicle.

"Pool's closing!" he announced before turning to Soos. "Don't touch those!"

"Can I see you tonight?" Mermando asked Mabel.

"Sure," Mabel replied. "Wanna go for a walk?"

"Merman, I am a merman."

"Right. I'll be back tonight."

That night, Mabel made it to the pool. She managed to grab a net and use it to climb over the fence. She did damage it, but it was worth it.

She sat in the pool and showed Mermando a scrapbook.

She pointed to one photo in particular. "This is me and my family kickboxing."

Mermando sighed and swam away. Mabel noticed the sadness in his face.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I, too, used to have a family once, back in the ocean," he explained. He opened his shell locket to reveal a picture of himself and his family. "How I miss them."

"Mermando, why don't you leave the pool?"

"I tried, once, but escaping required a plan that was bold and daring."

Flashback

Mermando swam to the bottom of the pool. He then swam up as fast as he could. He tried to fly over the fence.

He landed right on the ground next to the pool. He bounced around for a bit like a fish out of water.

A woodpecker came down and pecked Mermando in the eye.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" he screamed.

When the woodpecker finally flew away, Mermando fell back into the pool.

End of Flashback

"And then the wolves came," Mermando finished. "But I'm glad I ended up here, because I met you."

Mermando looked up at the night sky. A shooting star passed by.

This is it, Mabel,Mabel thought to herself.First kiss. Here we go.

Mabel leaned forward and puckered her lips. She closed her eyes and readied herself for sweet, ignorant bliss.

"What are you doing?" Mermando asked.

Mabel opened her eyes. "I was eating sour candy," she lied. "That's why my lips were doing that."

"Can I have some candy?"

"No."

The next morning, Durland was applying sunscreen to Blubs' back when they both got trapped by floaties.

"I'm scared!" Durland screamed.

"Me too!" Blubs admitted.

"One hundred points!" Dipper cheered.

"Dude, if I keep this job, you and I can have fun all summer!" said Wendy.

Dipper smiled and blushed as he fantasized having fun at the pool for the rest of the summer. "All summer?"

That's when Mr. Poolcheck blew a whistle, getting both Dipper and Wendy's attention.

"Corduroy, here, now!" he demanded.

Wendy got down and saluted Mr. Poolcheck.

"You gave me your word that you would respect the rules of this municipal pool!" Mr. Poolcheck cried.

Wendy noticed the tears. "Mr. Poolcheck, are you crying?"

"That's not important, right now!" Poolcheck wiped his eyes. "You wanna keep this job, girl?! Well, some maniac broke into the supply closet last night and destroyed our one and only skimmer! I want you on stake out! If one more supply gets taken, you're fired!"

Wendy saluted Poolcheck once more. "I won't let you down."

Mabel tried to play a game of volleyball with Mermando. He didn't seem to care.

"Mermando, what's wrong?" Mabel asked, before quickly realizing what was wrong. "Oh, it's your family, isn't it?"

Mermando nodded and made a dolphin cry.

"Mermando, enough is enough!" Mabel decided. "I care about you too much to see you like this! We're gonna bust you out of here and get you back to your family!"

"But Mabel, escape is impossible," Mermando retorted.

"We're breaking you out of here tonight!"

That night, Wendy was pacing in front of the pool entrance.

She heard rattling coming from the bushes. She readied her flashlight.

Dipper popped out. Wendy sighed with relief.

"Dipper, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I want to help you catch the culprit," Dipper replied. "I know you really care about this lifeguard job."

Wendy smiled. "Thanks, dude."

That's when they heard a thud. The two turned around to see Stan cutting the fence open.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked.

"I'm sleepwalking," Stan lied. "And now I'm sleeptalking."

"You're the one damaging pool supplies!" Wendy accused.

"No, my crime is a lot better. I'm gonna get that seat and be ready in the morning when Gideon comes."

Wendy blew her whistle.

"Yeesh, I'm going," Stan said as he backed up. "Sike!"

Stan ran for the chair. Wendy ran after him.

Mabel backed into the pool with a golf cart. Mermando saw her.

"Mabel," he said happily.

Mabel used a hairpin to pick the lock to the supply closet.

"Who's ready to see his family?" she asked.

"I am, but how can I escape?" Mermando asked.

"My original plan was to tape together a bunch of fish sticks to make you a prosthetic pair of legs, but then I realized I can just transport you in this cooler."

Mermando jumped out of the pool. It took him a while, but he got in the cooler.

That's when Dipper showed up.

"Mabel, what are you doing here?" he asked. "What, is Soos here, too?"

"Oof, I'm okay," came Soos' voice.

"Go home, Soos."

"You got it."

"So, why are you here?"

"No reason," Mabel lied.

Mermando coughed. Dipper heard him.

"Did that cooler just clear its throat?" he asked.

"Don't be silly," Mabel replied. "It's not like there's a merman in there."

"Mabel, I don't have time for your games. If you steal these supplies, Wendy will lose the coolest job ever."

Mabel sighed. "I understand. Hey, look, Wendy in a bikini!"

Dipper turned around. "Really, at night?"

Mabel used this distraction to get on the cart and drive away. "Sorry Dipper!"

Dipper realized his mistake. "Mabel!"

Dipper got on the Pool Mobile and drove after Mabel.

Stan peaked out of the bathroom and assumed the coast was clear.

"Now all I gotta do is sit in that chair for fifteen hours until the pool opens," he said to himself. "This is a good plan."

"Yes, yes it is," came Wendy's voice.

Stan saw Wendy sitting in his chair.

"Wendy?!" he reacted.

"Stanford Pines," Wendy said as she got up and grabbed Stan's arms. "You're officially banned for breaking and entering. You have the right to remain dry."

Wendy kicked Stan out of the pool, and quickly repaired the broken fence to the best of her ability.

Dipper chased Mabel and tried to launch water balloons at her. One of them hit the plug on the cooler. The water drained out.

After a while, they reached the lake. Mabel swerved to avoid driving into the lake. Dipper did the same.

"Alright, the jig is up!" Dipper shouted. "Hand over that cooler!"

"Never!" Mabel screamed.

"Why do you even need it?"

"I need it to save my new friend because he needs to go home to his family and he needs water because he's a merman."

Mabel opened the cooler to reveal Mermando.

"Hola," Mermando greeted.

"Dipper, Mermando the merman," Mabel introduced.

"Nice to meet you," said Mermando. "Also, I think I'm suffocating."

"Dipper, quick, do reverse-CPR!" Mabel shouted.

"Mabel, why would I do that?" Dipper asked. "I'm not an idiot. The lake is right there. We can just toss him into it."

Dipper and Mabel picked up Mermando and tossed him into the lake.

Mermando managed to catch his breath. He then made a dolphin noise.

"I am weak from all that suffocating," he said. "How will my family hear my call from the mighty depths of the ocean?"

"I've got it," Mabel replied as she grabbed the megaphone from the Pool Mobile.

"Mabel, those are pool supplies!" Dipper yelled. "Wendy will get fired!"

"Dipper, don't you know what it's like to fall for someone, even though you know in your heart that it'll probably never work out, but you'd do anything for that person?"

Dipper understood what Mabel was saying. That's exactly how he felt around Wendy, and he didn't want Mabel undergoing the same torture.

"Give Mermando the megaphone," he relented.

Mabel tossed the megaphone to Mermando.

"Mabel, I have never met anyone like you," Mermando said.

"Same here," said Mabel. "Well, Mermando, I guess this is it."

"No. This is."

Mermando leaned forward and locked his lips onto Mabel's. Mabel was shocked at first, but she went along with it. When they pulled out, she was beyond happy.

"Yes, my first kiss!" she cheered. She calmed down and held Mermando's hand. "Goodbye, Mermando."

As Mermando swam away, Dipper and Mabel walked off.

"You did the right thing, Dipper," Mabel said. "Wait, one more thing."

Mabel ran back to the edge of the dock and struck a dramatic pose, all the while Mermando leapt out of the water and flew over her before landing back in the water.

"I always wanted to do that," she remarked.

Back at the pool, Poolcheck was horrified at all the damage done to the pool.

"A wrecked fence, dents in the Pool Mobile, and a missing megaphone?!" he screamed at Wendy. "You swore you'd prevent this from happening!"

Dipper arrived just in time to see what was happening.

"Wait!" he shouted. "Don't fire her! It's my fault! I got in too deep."

"Get out of the pool, boy!"

Dipper stepped out.

"I swear if one more thing goes wrong," Poolcheck said to himself.

That's when he noticed a nearby note on the ground. He picked it up and read it. Once he finished reading it, his eyes widened, and he turned to Wendy with an angry glare.

Mabel left the shack to see a strange bottle in front of the door. Inside it was a rolled up sheet of paper with her name on it. She took the bottle and opened it up. It read…

Dear Mabel,

I am home, safe and sound, with my family.

Our first kiss will always hold a special place in my heart.

Technically hearts. As a merman, I have, like, seventeen hearts. Horrifying, but true.

More bottles on the way.

Mabel smiled and shed a small tear.

Dipper sat in front of the lake and skipped stones. He noticed Wendy sitting next to him.

"Wendy, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"Poolcheck found out that I lied about my age on my resume," Wendy replied. "I guess Stan told him that to spite me for kicking him out of the pool before he could cook up his petty revenge scheme against Gideon. I mean, Gideon's just a harmless child. What does Stan have against him?"

Meanwhile, Gideon was in his room reading his journal. He was plotting his next scheme.

"Zombie attack?" he thought. "Never works. They never take orders. Blood rain? Ew, that'll mess up my suit. Demon caterpillars?"

He slammed the book shut, frustrated.

"No, no, no!" he screamed. "There's gotta be a perfect way to exact revenge on the Pines family! It's not enough to harm them. I need to take something from them, something that'll give me ultimate power."

An idea popped into his head. He took the small model of the Mystery Shack.

"It's perfect," he said. "I just need to know how to get my hands on it."

He felt a small gust of wind blow. He turned to see if the window was open. It wasn't.

He then turned to the journal. It turned to a very specific page.

There was a circle with ten different symbols around it. A pine tree, a shooting star, a crescent-shaped symbol, an ice bag, a question mark, a six-fingered hand, a regular star, a pentagram with an eye in the center, a llama, and a pair of glasses.

In the center was a triangle with one eye, two arms, and two legs. It wore a top hat and a bow tie.

Chapter 12: Boyz Crazy

Chapter Text

Evan woke up one morning in a foul mood. Every day since the start of the summer, the most beautiful girl came to town, but she always ditched him for another boy.

But that was gonna change. He would make sure of it.

Evan went downstairs to get some breakfast. Someone was sitting at the dining table, someone he didn't expect.

He was a forty-year-old man with a small beard. He wore a nice suit and tie, with fitting pants.

"Hey Evan," he greeted.

Evan approached the man and hugged him.

"Hey Dad," Evan said. "How was it?"

"It was great," his father replied. "My one-hit album is a smash hit. The song's so good that you could sing it to whoever you want and they'd instantly fall in love with you. My team and I sold a million copies in just two days."

He took out a CD case with a black cover. It almost looked like the cover of a Necronomicon. He handed it to Evan.

"I'd like you to have this," he said.

Evan took the case and looked at it. The memory of what his father said repeated over and over.

"The song's so good that you could sing it to whoever you want and they'd instantly fall in love with you."

Evan smiled a small wicked smile.

"Thanks, Dad," was all he said.

Dipper and Wendy were watching security footage of things that happened in the Mystery Shack.

On screen, a customer was showing Stan a yellow t-shirt with a question mark on it.

"Do you have this t-shirt in my size?" he asked.

Wendy muted the footage right as Stan was about to speak.

"I have something even better," she imitated.

On screen, Stan turned around and leaned forward to reach into a box.

"Behold, my butt," Wendy imitated.

Dipper and Wendy laughed at the dub.

"I could play this game forever," Dipper whispered.

"What'd you say?" Wendy asked.

Dipper realized he was caught. He had to come up with something.

"Coughing!" he shouted before faking a cough. "I was coughing! Those weren't words!"

Dipper heard a familiar laugh. He turned around to see Mabel there.

"What you two have is cute," she said.

"Mabel, how long have you been standing there?" Dipper asked.

"Don't worry about that. Let's talk about why I'm doing this dance."

Mabel gestured to the tap dance she was doing. Dipper got worried.

"Oh no, she got into the smile dip again," he panicked.

"Wrong 1000," Mabel replied. "It's because today is the greatest day of my life."

Mabel threw a calendar at Dipper. He barely caught it.

On the back of the calendar was a poster showing four boys that appeared to be late teens to early adults. It read, '4*TOWN, Gravity Falls Civic Center'.

"4*TOWN is playing at the Gravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet," Mabel explained.

"You mean that boy band that came a decade too late?" Dipper asked as he remembered that earworm of a song. "Mabel, you know all boy bands are fake, right?"

"Dipper's right," Wendy added. "They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry."

"You're making my dance sad," Mabel whined.

Dipper ignored that statement. "There's probably a machine that mass-produces them."

Wendy laughed. "Or maybe the boys are grown from pods."

"You both can't ruin this for me," Mabel said. "I have backup." She heard a knock on the door. "And there it is now."

Mabel went to the door and opened it. Evan was there, smiling nervously.

"Hey Evan," she said. "Where are Candy and Grenda?"

"They're falling behind," Evan replied. "Say, while we wait, I just got a new CD. Do you happen to have a CD player?"

"Do I?"

It took a while, but Mabel eventually came down with a CD player.

Evan took out the CD case. He looked at it nervously.

After a while, he took a breath.

"Let's hope this works," he told himself.

Evan inserted the CD to the player and pressed play. He took a breath, and started to sing.

When I think about you, I feel feelings so deep

I'm tossing and turning, and you know I'm losing sleep

And I know I'm going crazy, when I look into your eyes,

Just listen to this song, and you'll be hypnotai-ai-zed.

Mabel looked like she was about to fall asleep. She rubbed her eyes and smiled at Evan.

"Evan, I never realized how handsome you were," she said in a way that sounded wrong.

Evan didn't think much of it, though. He finally got what he wanted. For the first time since the start of the summer, he felt truly happy.

"Hey, kid!" a voice shouted.

Evan turned to see a goth teenage boy wearing a black hoodie with a blood red heart, and tight blue jeans.

"I saw what you did there," the teen said, causing Evan to back away in fright. "How much for that CD?"

Evan sighed in relief.

"You can have it for free," he replied. "I don't need it anymore."

Evan gave Robbie the CD.

"Thanks kid," Robbie smiled the best smile he could.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 12

Boyz Crazy

Dipper watched some footage of Robbie entering the gift shop.

"Hey, is this the fingerless glove store?" he imitated. "I'm Robbie and I like dumb things."

The footage wasn't old. It was live. Robbie was offended by the statement.

"Ha ha ha, laugh it up, chief," he said before turning to Wendy. "So Wendy, Lee and Nate are going to Lookout Point this weekend. Maybe we should go too."

SLAP!

Wendy slapped Robbie hard on the cheek.

"Are you kidding me?" she asked. "First, you tried to kill Mabel's pet pig with no hesitation, then you got into an argument with Dipper even though you know I don't like it when people argue, and instead of apologizing, you want me to go to Lookout Point?"

"I'll just be over here," Dipper said as he entered the back.

He opened the door ajar and peeked.

"Look, Robbie," Wendy continued. "I'm not sure this relationship's working. Maybe we should see other people."

Dipper closed the door and cheered as quietly as he could. He noticed Waddles and hugged him tightly.

"Whoa, whoa," he heard Robbie say. "Before you do anything crazy, I want you to hear this."

Dipper watched as Robbie took a CD out of a strange case. He inserted it into the nearby CD player.

"I wrote this song just for you," Robbie said.

He pressed play, took a breath, and started to sing.

When I think about you, I feel feelings so deep

I'm tossing and turning, and you know I'm losing sleep

"Yeesh," Dipper muttered. "How much cornier can he get?"

And I know I'm going crazy, when I look into your eyes

Just listen to this song, and you'll be hypnotai-ai-zed.

Wendy turned around. The frown she had earlier turned to her usual smile.

"You know, maybe I was being a little hasty," she said. "I'll give you another chance."

Wendy leaned forward and kissed Robbie on the cheek. She then went to the backroom to get her coat.

Dipper approached Robbie, fury in his eyes.

"Alright, Robbie, I saw that weird CD," he said. "What the hell are you up to?"

"It's called romance, kid," Robbie replied. "It's something you'll never understand."

Wendy came out with her coat.

"I can't believe you wrote that for me," she said.

"I know," Robbie replied. "I'm just insanely talented."

Robbie and Wendy walked out of the shack. Robbie forgot to take out the CD.

Dipper got curious. He took out the CD and examined it.

Meanwhile, Evan, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were at the 4*TOWN concert.

"Alright girls, and boy," Candy said. "Have you all practiced your obsessed boy band scream?"

Grenda's scream sounded like she was being hit by a car.

Evan's scream sounded really fake.

Mabel had the best scream out of all of them. It was right in Evan's ear.

McGucket showed up and did his own hillbilly scream.

"Let's pretend that didn't happen," said Evan.

The quartet got their tickets and entered the stadium.

Back at the shack, Stan was stacking brown meat for the apocalypse. Dipper was pacing back and forth with the CD.

"What's with the pacing, kid?" Stan asked. "You look even more freaked out than usual."

"I don't know," Dipper replied. "You wouldn't understand."

Dipper was about to leave, but Stan grabbed him and had him sit down.

"Try me," he said.

"This is gonna sound weird," Dipper said. "But I think Robbie might be brainwashing Wendy with music."

"I've seen this before. Her name was Carla 'Hot Pants' McCorkle. Me and Carla baby would cut a run together at The Juke Joint, our favorite 50s-themed 1970s diner, then one day, this new-age tree-hugger starts playing this transcendental hippie music. Carla's hot pants turned into bell bottoms before I even knew it happened. My memories got a little hallucination-y at the end, but you get the gist."

"So you actually believe my theory?"

"You're darn right I do, and we're gonna get to the bottom of it, right after I get to the bottom of this brown meat."

The kids managed to get front-row seats. They sat in excitement as the band got onto the stage.

Play "Nobody Like U" from Turning Red

Aaron T:

I've never met nobody like you

Had friends, and I've had buddies, it's true

Aaron Z:

But they don't turn my tummy the way you do

I've never met nobody like you

All:

You're never not on my mind, oh my, oh my

I'm never not by your side, your side, your side

I'm never gonna' let you cry, oh, cry, don't cry

I'll never not be your ride or die, alright

Robaire:

Let's call it what it is, it's a masterpiece

Got a whole lotta love for them city streets

Tonight, is the place to be

Got a big boom box and a new CD

Jesse:

Come on, everybody, let's tear it up

If you want mad skills, you can share with us

I want everybody to stop and stare

And you know why, it's me

All:

You're never not on my mind, oh my, oh my

I'm never not by your side, your side, your side

I'm never gon' let you cry, oh, cry, don't cry

I'll never not be your ride, or die, alright

Li-li-li-like you

Li-li-li-li-like you

Li-li-li-li-li-like you

Like you, like you

Li-li-li-like you

Li-li-li-li-li-li-like you

Li-li-li-li-like you

Like you, like you

Tae:

I've never met nobody like you

Had friends, and I've had buddies, it's true

But they don't turn my tummy the way you do

I've never met nobody like you

All:

You're never not on my mind, oh my, oh my

I'm never not by your side, your side, your side

I'm never gonna' let you cry, oh cry, don't cry

I'll never not be your ride, or die, alright

End "Nobody Like U"

When the song was over, everyone cheered as loud as they could.

Stan finished chugging a can of cola.

"You see, Dipper," he explained. "Music has subliminal mind-control hidden in it all the time. If you listen closely, even the music I play in the gift shop has subtle hidden messages."

"You mean when the soft music is interrupted by you screaming 'BUY MORE KEYCHAINS!'?" Dipper retorted.

Stan looked away, sweating. "Uh, anyway…" He pulled out a record player. "If you want to hear the mind-controlling messages, you gotta slow down the record."

Stan took the disc and inserted it to the record player. He inserted the needle to the spinning disc. All that came out were screeches and sparks.

"We're doing something wrong here," Stan said. "But I can't put my finger on it."

Evan and the girls left the concert.

"That might be the best concert ever, right girls?" Evan said before turning to Candy and Grenda. They had concerned looks on their faces. "What's wrong?"

"Evan, I don't know if you've noticed, but…" Candy was about to say, but she stopped herself.

"Mabel has been looking at you and only you since we got here!" Grenda yelled.

Evan turned towards Mabel. She was looking at him with a smile on her face. He couldn't help but feel a little disturbed himself.

"Well, I can't hide it any longer," he said as he took Mabel's hand. "Mabel and I are dating."

Candy and Grenda looked at each other, before turning back to Evan.

"Anyway, it's getting late," Evan said as if nothing was wrong. "We gotta head home. See you tomorrow."

Evan and Mabel turned around and left the stadium. They weren't heading home. They had somewhere else in mind.

Dipper just finished transferring the CD recording into a record.

"Alright," he said. "Took forever, but it was worth it. Now we can slow it down to see if the mind-control message theory is correct. Prepare to have your mind blown."

Stan put as much soda as he could into his mouth, ready for a spit-take.

Dipper played the record and slowed it down. It just played the same song, just slower.

Stan swallowed his soda. "This isn't spit-worthy! What gives?"

"This was stupid!" Dipper yelled at himself. "Of course there was no secret message! Wendy just likes the song! She just likes Robbie!"

They heard the door open. They saw Wendy passing by.

"Hey, Dip," Wendy said. "Forgot my keys."

Robbie just stood there.

"What's up, junior?" he said. "Are you trying to come up with an equation to make girls like you?"

Dipper just stared at Robbie with as much contempt as he could muster.

Wendy came back.

"Ready to go to Lookout Point?" she asked.

"Am I?" Robbie replied. "Later dorks. Catch you on the rewind."

"I'll rewind your face!" Stan threatened.

"Wait a minute, rewind," Dipper realized.

He went to the record and made it move backwards. It went…

You are now under my control

Your mind is mine

Stan spit as much soda as he could onto Dipper.

"Holy mackerel!" he shouted. "There's your spit take!"

"I knew it!" Dipper cheered before realizing the seriousness of the situation. "Oh god, I gotta save Wendy!"

"Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face!" Stan said. "Let's roll!"

Stan and Dipper ran out to catch up to Wendy and Robbie.

Mabel and Evan were eating at Greasy's Diner. This was Evan's first date, so he was really nervous.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" he asked.

"We can always talk about you," Mabel replied in a flirty tone.

"But… we've been talking about me on the way here. There are things I want to talk about other than myself, you know."

"But you're everything I want to talk about, gorgeous."

Evan blushed at that statement. He wanted to argue, but he knew that he put himself in this situation. He knew there was no going back. If he wanted to be with Mabel, he had to go along with this.

Stan and Dipper were speeding down the road to Lookout Point.

"We gotta warn Wendy about that song before it's too late!" Dipper shouted.

"Road safety laws, prepare to be ignored!" Stan shouted.

Stan swerved down a no vehicle path.

Robbie and Wendy sat in the car admiring a nice view. No one else was there.

"Wow, Lee and Nate didn't show up," Robbie said in fake shock. "Guess it's just you and me. This isn't what I was planning at all."

Stan and Dipper managed to reach the top of the hill from the steep road.

Dipper got out of the car.

"Wendy, Robbie's been lying to you!" he shouted.

Wendy rolled down the window.

"Dipper?" she asked.

"Kid, Mr. Pines?" Robbie reacted.

"That's Mr. Pines to you!" Stan yelled.

"That's what I said."

"Wendy, you gotta hear this," Dipper said.

Dipper played the cassette he recorded. It just played the song regularly.

"There's a message in there, I swear," Dipper said.

"Let me just close the window," Robbie said as he reached for the button to raise the window.

"Wait, here!"

They got to the part with the song in reverse.

"Robbie, what's that doing in our song?" Wendy asked.

"Baby, I promise, I don't know anything about those messages," Robbie replied. "In fact, I didn't even write that song."

Dipper expected Wendy to be angry, but for some reason, she wasn't.

"That's fine," she said uncharacteristically.

Dipper realized what this meant.

"We're too late," he said to himself.

He walked away sadly. He looked at the CD. The sadness he felt knowing he'd never have Wendy turned to hatred towards Robbie for taking her away from him. He took all that frustration out on the CD, throwing it to the ground, and stomping it until it was broken into a million pieces.

When he was done, he panted and turned around. Both Stan and Robbie were shocked knowing what Dipper did. Wendy looked like she was having a headache.

When she opened her eyes, she looked at Robbie, furious.

"YOU!" she screamed.

"Wendy," Robbie reacted, having no idea what was going on. "Are you good?"

"No, I'm not good! You said you wrote a song for me, but you were just doing it to force me into loving you! Dipper was right! I don't know what I saw in you that made me want to date you! You're a liar and a creep!"

"I know, I know, I lie about a lot of stuff, like using your makeup and fighting a bear..."

"No! You know what? It's over, Robbie! We're through! Goodbye!"

Wendy got out of the car and walked away.

"We won!" Stan cheered. "This is a victory for every guy whose hands are too weak or fat to play a musical instrument!"

"I couldn't have done it without you, Grunkle Stan," Dipper replied.

Dipper turned to Wendy. He noticed her rubbing her face with her arm. He realized he made a huge mistake.

Dipper ran after Wendy to make sure he was okay.

Stan noticed Robbie still in his car, bawling his eyes out.

"If it makes you feel better, the apocalypse is coming soon," Stan joked. "Bury your gold. You've been buying gold, right?"

"Oh, and my dad's a musician," Evan explained. "He's the one who wrote the song I…"

He stopped when he noticed Mabel holding her forehead as if it was aching.

"Mabel, are you okay?" he asked.

Mabel opened her eyes. She stared at Evan, angrier than she ever felt before.

"Okay?" she reacted. "I'm livid! What is wrong with you?! What is wrong with boys?! You only think about yourselves! You should just leave me alone!"

Mabel headed for the exit. Evan got up and tried to go after her. Mabel turned around.

"Don't!" she warned.

Mabel turned back around. Evan tried to move a step forward.

"I see you!" Mabel yelled.

Mabel opened the door and ran out of the diner.

Susan approached Evan.

"And what would you like to drink?" she asked.

"I won't have anything," Evan replied. "I'm not hungry anymore."

Evan walked out of the diner. He noticed Mabel running off, crying. He wanted to go after her, but he knew that would be a bad idea. He made a huge mistake, and now he had to live with the consequences.

Dipper ran down the hill to catch up with Wendy. He pushed past all the trees and undergrowth in his way.

After a while, Dipper found Wendy sitting under a tree. She was crying while burying her face in her knees.

Dipper felt nothing but guilt for what he did. He may have saved Wendy, but he hurt her as well.

Dipper took a step forward. He hesitated.

Wendy looked up with blood-red eyes.

Dipper took another step. He spread his arms out.

Wendy jumped towards Dipper and wrapped him in her arms.

Dipper was almost knocked off balance, but he managed to steady himself. Hefelt a nice, warm sensation when Wendy hugged him. He didn't care about that though. All that mattered to him at that moment was keeping Wendy company.

"It's gonna be okay, Wendy," he assured. "It's gonna be okay."

Chapter 13: Blendin's Game

Chapter Text

207012

A cloaked figure was trying to escape the time police.

"I must admit I'm impressed," one officer, Dundgren, said to his partner, Lolph. "No one's broken out of the Infinetentiary before."

"He's either the bravest time-convict or the dumbest," Lolph added.

The figure turned towards a wall and ran into it.

"Ow!" he cried.

His hood fell off revealing him to be Blendin Blandin.

"Definitely the dumbest," Dundgren muttered before bringing out his gun. "Freeze! You've been surrounded by the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron! Anything you say can and already has been used against you in future court. This is it, Blendin. End of the timeline. Any last words?"

Blendin struggled to find the right words. As the officers got closer to cuffing him, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"I invoke Globnar!"

Dundgren got rid of the cuffs and picked up a tablet.

"Very well," he said. "Speak the name and century of those accused."

"The two kids that ruined my life," Blendin replied. "Dipper and Mabel Pines, twenty-first century."

On the tablet, a live feed showed Dipper and Mabel Pines playfully hitting each other with plastic baseball bats.

The footage appeared on every screen in the area. They were labeled, 'Globnar Tributes'.

"So be it," said Lolph. "May Time Baby have mercy on their souls."

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 13

Blendin's Game

Present Day

The twins tried to get a piece of candy from the vending machine. It got stuck the moment it was pushed off the shelf.

"No!" Mabel shouted. "Everything is terrible forever!"

That's when Soos approached them.

"Hey dudes," he whispered. "Wanna know a trick?"

Soos tapped the edge of the machine in a rhythmic motion, opening it up. He then grabbed as many snacks as he could.

"This just in," he said. "Weather stations are calling for a candy blizzard!"

Soos dropped all the candy as if he was making the room snow.

"Forget unwrapping them," Mabel said. "I'm eating them now!"

Mabel scarfed as much wrapped candy as she could into her mouth. She instantly regretted it.

"Soos, you are the greatest human to ever live," Dipper smiled.

"No sweat, dude," Soos replied. "I'd do anything for the Pines family."

"Soos, I need to scratch myself in two places at once!" Stan called from upstairs.

"And I mean anything!" Soos said before heading upstairs. "Coming, Mr. Pines!"

Dipper noticed that Soos forgot his wallet.

"Gotta make sure he gets his wallet back," he said to himself.

"Wait!" Mabel said. "I've never seen Soos' wallet before. Don't you want to learn some Soos secrets?"

"Mabel, I don't know if we should…" Before Dipper could finish, he noticed a card in the wallet. His curiosity got the better of him, and he pulled it out. "Whoa, Soos has a membership to laser tag?" He turned it around to see it said 'Ages twelve and under'. "I didn't know they let grown-ups in there."

He then noticed Soos' ID card.

"Jesus Alzamirano Ramirez," he read. "Organ donor, birthday: July 13… wait a minute. That's today. I wonder why he didn't tell us."

"Probably because he wants someone to throw him a surprise party," Mabel theorized. "I can relate. I've been waiting for a surprise party my whole life."

Right as she said that, Candy showed up with a handful of confetti.

"Surprise!" she shouted as she threw the confetti in the air.

"Too little too late, Chiu," Mabel said sternly.

Later, Dipper and Mabel were outside with Candy and Grenda.

Grenda was painting a birthday banner. It read, 'IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY YO!'

"More exclamation points!" Mabel demanded.

"Wow, you thought of everything," Grenda remarked.

"Twins are born birthday experts."

Dipper just finished setting up a cake.

"That's right," he said. "We shared every birthday together, so we know how to make them perfect." He and Mabel fist-bumped before Dipper heard footsteps. "Places everyone."

The three ran behind a nearby table. They watched as Candy led a blindfolded Soos outside.

"Alright, you promised a giant hummingbird," Soos said.

Candy removed the blindfold.

Dipper, Mabel, and Grenda popped out from behind the table.

"Surprise!" they all shouted.

"Happy birthday, king on earth!" Mabel said. "We got all your favorite things. Cake-flavored pizza, pizza-flavored cake, and one more treat."

Dipper opened the curtain of a small stage. Toby Determined did a small tap dance.

"Razzle dazzle, friend," he said. "This is what my life has become."

Mabel failed to notice how terrified Soos was. She took out a camera.

"Quick!" she said. "Everyone pose for the Birthday Smiles Memory Album!"

Once everyone got into frame, Mabel snapped the photo.

The picture printed out of the camera. The kids gathered to look at it. They noticed the sad look on Soos' face.

"Soos, what's wrong?" Dipper asked.

"It's nothing," Soos replied defensively. "I gotta go fix a pipe."

Soos ran back inside. Wendy and Stan came out right after.

"Whoa, did you see Soos?" Wendy asked before she noticed the party. "Oh no. You didn't know, so I don't blame you, but Soos hates his birthday. It's a total mystery. I guess he's been like this since he was a kid. Some weird personal biz."

"There's gotta be something we can do," Mabel said.

"We tried everything," Stan said. "I even petitioned the government to have this day removed from calendars. Now I'm not allowed on airplanes."

They turned to see Soos sitting in front of the porch holding a postcard.

"I think it's best if we leave him alone," Wendy said.

"No one should be alone on their birthdays," Mabel retorted. "There's gotta be a way to cheer him up. We just need to try harder. Time to bring out the big guns."

The kids led Soos to the laser tag arena. Soos was once again blindfolded.

"Alright guys," Soos said. "Blindfold me once, shame on you. Blindfold me twice…" He stopped talking when he heard the sound of lasers. "Wait a minute. Hot dog smell, sticky floors, future sounds?"

Soos took off his blindfold to see he was at the laser tag arena.

"Laser tag?" he said. "I love laser tag. How did you know?"

"We didn't rifle through your wallet," Mabel lied.

Dipper elbowed Mabel before laughing awkwardly.

Wendy noticed the wall looked off. She touched it. It felt soft.

"Are these walls just mattresses painted purple?" she asked.

"I think this place used to be a mattress store," Stan said.

"I'm not sure if I'm up for this," Soos told the twins.

"Don't worry, Soos," Dipper assured. "As soon as you start playing with us, you're gonna have a great time."

"We promise no matter what happens, we won't leave your side," Mabel added.

After everyone put on their vests, they waited for the door to open. Once it did, Stan, Wendy, Candy, and Grenda ran into the arena. The rest were about to follow, but Soos stopped to tie his shoelace.

The twins ran into the arena. The environment was completely white. The door behind them was blocked by high-tech lasers.

"Whoa, this is cooler than I imagined," Mabel remarked before noticing the cops in front of her. "Look how real these laser guys are."

Mabel kicked the cop in the shins. All she heard was a metal clank.

"Kick deflected," said a voice on the pants. "Thank you for buying digicod, the smart codpiece."

Dipper turned around to see the door disappear.

"Oh no, Soos!" he shouted.

Mabel tried to kick the door down. Nothing happened.

"Nice try," said the cop on the right. "But that's solid time-tanium, kid. There's only one way out of here."

"Through me!" said a second, more obnoxious, voice.

The twins turned around to see a familiar floating head and hands.

"Oh, whoops," it said.

It quickly adjusted itself to reveal a full body wearing a gray jumpsuit.

The twins gasped.

"The time-traveler guy!" Mabel said. "What was your name again? Blendo? Blondin?"

Dipper snapped his fingers. "Blendin!"

"That's Blendin Blenjamin Blandin to you!" Blendin yelled. "You both ruined my life! Initiate flashback!"

Blendin changed the room to replay events from the past.

"It started when you stole my time device to win your stupid pig!" Blendin explained. "I was cast out of the Time Anomaly Removal Crew, my whole life's purpose, then I was given ten-squared life sentences in time-prison. I spent every day since then planning my vengeance, and now, it has finally come! Dipper and Mabel Pines, welcome to Globnar!"

Blendin gestured to the other side of the room. A door opened to reveal a futuristic arena.

"Are we in Japan?" Mabel wondered.

"It's gladiatorial time combat!" Blendin yelled. "The winner gets a precious time wish and then decides the loser's fate! The two of you are officially challenged!"

"Dipper, we need a way out of here," Mabel said. "But how?"

Dipper noticed one of the cops had a time machine.

"I have an idea," he whispered. "Hang in there, Soos. We're coming for you."

Mabel approached the cop with a smile on her face.

"Oh my stars!" she said. She read the nametag. "Lolphy, it's your great-great-great-great-grandmother from the past times."

Lolph fell for the trick easily.

"Gam-Gam?" he asked.

Dipper managed to get the tape measure.

Blendin was getting his face painted when he noticed Dipper stealing the time machine.

"Stop them!" he shouted.

Dipper and Mabel made a run for it.

"Gam-Gam, how could you?" Lolph asked.

"I ain't no one's Gam-Gam, sucker!" Mabel shouted. "You just got time-tricked! Hurry, back to Soos' birthday!"

Dipper pulled the tape.

"Got it!" he said.

He pushed the button, then grabbed Mabel's hand.

When they opened their eyes, they were falling. They screamed until they landed safely on a mattress.

"Are we back?" Mabel asked.

Dipper noticed other mattresses and beds lying around.

"Mabel, look!" he said. "Mabel, the laser place is a mattress store. We went back too far."

"Why does time-travel have to be so complicated?" Mabel asked.

They turned and noticed Blendin and the time cops were about to arrive. They quickly hid under the bed.

"Looks like they overshot their destination by ten years," said Lolph.

"I don't see them," Blendin said.

"You'll get your justice, Blendin."

"I'm gonna keep stuttering until you find them! I-I-I-I…"

"I hate that guy," Dipper muttered.

The twins watched as Blendin and the cops left the store.

"Okay, we just got to go forward ten years," Dipper said. "We can be back before Soos realizes we were gone."

They noticed that the tape measure was broken.

"Can we fix it?" Mabel asked.

"Maybe," Dipper replied. "But I'm gonna need some tools." He noticed a sign that said, 'Mystery Shack, one mile'. "And I think I know where to get some."

The twins walked down the street.

"We gotta be careful," said Dipper. "We can't accidentally change the future."

That's when a couple of little girls almost ran the twins over with tricycles.

It only took Dipper a second to recognize the first girl as none other than Wendy Corduroy, only ten years younger.

It did take Dipper a little longer to realize who the second girl was. Once he noticed the blonde hair, though, he could only assume it was a ten-year-younger Pacifica Northwest.

"Oops, sorry," Wendy apologized.

Pacifica and Wendy leaned towards each other and whispered something. They then pointed at Dipper.

"My friend thinks you're cute," they both told Dipper in unison before turning towards each other. "Oh my gosh, shut up!"

Dipper blushed a little bit.

"Thank you," he said. "I mean, you're both really young, so that's weird."

"Yeah, creep," Mabel teased.

The twins made it to the Mystery Shack. They saw Stan presenting something to a group of customers. They used the distraction as an opportunity to sneak in through the window.

Dipper noticed a convenient toolbox sitting there. Dipper grabbed a red screwdriver and started tinkering with the time machine.

Mabel turned around and saw a kid around her age banging on the vending machine.

"Come on, candy," he said. "Fall."

"Allow me," Mabel said. "You just need to know a guy on the inside."

Mabel used the same method that Soos taught her earlier to open the vending machine.

She then turned to see that the kid's face looked familiar.

"Thanks, dawg," he said in a chill voice. "You must be some kind of genius."

Dipper just finished fixing the time machine.

"Dipper, look!" Mabel shouted, gesturing to the kid.

It didn't take long for Dipper to realize who the kid was. It was none other than Soos Ramirez.

An elderly woman approached Soos. She had long, spiked hair. She wore a pink shirt and skirt, and a white apron.

"Mi precioso," she said. "You keep wandering off. You don't want to be late for your big day."

"Sorry, Abuelita," Soos said before noticing Mabel. "Hey, can I invite her and her friend to my party too? She's a genius that taught me how to open the vending machine."

"We'd love to, but…" Dipper was about to say.

"Yes, we'd love to come," Mabel interrupted before turning to Dipper. "Dipper, this might be the day where that personal biz went down. We can find out why Soos hates his birthday."

Dipper looked at the time machine before making his decision. "Alright, we'll go with you. We can't be here long, though. We're only visiting for a short while."

"Yay!" Soos cheered.

Later, Dipper and Mabel were at Soos' house. They were standing in the backyard drinking cups of punch. They were mainly watching Soos, who seemed like his usual bright and cheerful self.

That's when a couple of older ladies approached Soos.

"Who's the birthday boy?" one asked playfully.

"It's you," the other said.

"Soos, you're such a ladies' man," Soos' abuela remarked.

"They're my cousins, Grandma!" Soos yelled. "Gross!"

"Look, mijo," Abuela said as she opened a box. "I got you a race car cake."

"I don't know why Soos hates his birthdays," Dipper whispered to Mabel. "This looks great."

Knowing it was likely cake time, Dipper took a seat at the edge of the table.

"Dude, do you mind switching seats?" Soos asked. "That's the seat of honor."

"Who's it for?" Dipper asked.

"It's for my dad, actually. I haven't seen him in eight years, but he's coming today." The doorbell rang. "That's him."

Soos ran inside the house. Dipper followed, not noticing that the screwdriver fell out of his pocket.

Dipper watched from the doorway to the living room as Soos answered the door. A mailman handed Soos a postcard.

"Sorry champ," Soos read aloud. "Couldn't make it this year. Real busy again. See you next year for sure, Dad."

Dipper realized what this meant. He started to feel bad.

"Don't sweat it, Soos," Dipper tried to console. "You'll see him next year."

"Yeah, next year," Soos said sadly. He placed the postcard in a box filled with seven other postcards. "I'm gonna go lay down. Party without me, dude."

Dipper walked out and met up with Mabel.

"Mabel, I know why Soos hates his birthday," he said.

He relayed everything he witnessed to Mabel.

"This is awful," she said. "We wished him a happy birthday, but now we can't. This goes beyond anything we know how to fix."

"They're over here somewhere!" came Blendin's voice.

The twins ran behind the tree to hide.

"Man, the sooner I defeat those kids, the sooner I get my time wish," Blendin said.

"Tell you what I'd do if I had a time wish," said Dundgren. "Retire early, spend more time with the kids…"

"Nya nya nya with the kids! Don't you know a time wish can do literally anything, any impossible problem solved just like that? Imagine the possibilities!"

An idea came into Dipper's mind.

"The time wish," he said. "Mabel, we can beat Blendin in that space battle, win that wish, and wish that Soos' dad came to his twelfth birthday, then Soos' birthday can be fixed forever!"

"But do you think we can win Globnar?" Mabel asked.

"It's the only chance we have. Besides, it's for Soos. He'd do the same for us."

The twins approached Blendin.

"We surrender," Dipper announced. "We're ready to challenge you."

"Yes!" Blendin cheered. "Let the Globnar begin!"

Blendin started to scream in excitement. Suddenly, a mute symbol appeared in front of his mouth and he stopped screaming.

"Hey, I found out I can mute him," said Lolph.

"I wish we'd known that earlier," said Dundgren.

"Initializing."

With a flash of light, the twins found themselves back in the arena. The crowd was cheering for Globnar.

After a while, a big baby with an infinity symbol on his forehead emerged from the ground.

"Silence!" he declared in a deep voice.

The crowd went silent.

"That's one big baby," Mabel remarked.

"I have a very important nap to get to, so let's make this quick," the baby said. "You each have a chance to settle your time-feud through gladiatorial combat."

"You have until Time Baby is done drinking the cosmic sand from this hourglass," said a nearby drone.

"No!"

"It's good for you!"

"When I get that time wish, you'll wish you were never born!" Blendin shouted. "Or rather,Iwill wish you were never born."

"Dream on," Dipper said. "There's two of us."

"And we have hair," Mabel added.

"Well, I have training!" Blendin showed he was wielding a spear despite the fact he was cuffed.

"Let the Globnar begin!" Time Baby declared.

The first match was the twins dueling Blendin while on a clock platform, while jumping over the hands to avoid being knocked down. The twins didn't realize the second part of the game until they were too late. Blendin got the first point.

The second match had them racing each other on a motorcycle track. The twins used a wheelie to get to the finish line first.

Then, Blendin chased the twins rolling on a giant clock. Mabel used her grappling hook to carry herself and Dipper away.

After that, Mabel and Blendin did a hot dog eating contest.

Next, they played a giant game of jenga.

In another game, they were playing time-chess against each other when a weird clock monster appeared out of nowhere and destroyed the board. The three had to work together to put the monster back in its cage.

"Very good," said Time Baby. "You escaped the Cyclocks. There is only one final challenge for Globnar. An ancient game thousands of years old chosen for its exemplification of pure strategy. The ancient art of laser tag." The arena changed to resemble a laser tag arena. "The one who touches the victory orb first will win."

Holographic vests and laser guns appeared on the players.

"Laser tag, really?" Dipper reacted.

"It may look easy now, but wait until they turn on that fog machine!" Blendin said. "You'll be done…"

Before he could finish that statement, Dipper started repeatedly shooting Blendin in the chest.

"Mabel, grab the orb!" he shouted.

Mabel grappled onto the platform where the orb was. She quickly grabbed it.

"It is finished!" Time Baby declared.

"No, no, no!" Blendin screamed.

"You have made victory in Globnar," Time Baby said. "Before I give you your time wish, tell us what fate you decide for the loser."

The twins needed a moment to decide.

"I know Blendin tried to wish us out of existence," Dipper said. "But it was kind of our fault for ruining his life."

"Yeah, and he's too sad to be a real bad guy," Mabel added.

"Maybe if we treat him right in the present, he'll turn out better in the future." Dipper turned to Time Baby. "As long as you keep an eye on him, we like to set Blendin free and restore his position at the Time Anomaly Correction Unit."

"And give him pretty hair," Mabel added.

Blendin's cuffs were released and he grew a head of hair.

"I got my job back!" he cheered. "I'm so happy I can hug somebody!"

He turned to the two cops, about to hug them.

"We can kill you in eight different ways," they both threatened, making Blendin stand still.

"Now, children," said Time Baby. "What is it that you want for your time wish?"

"Thank you, but the wish isn't for us," Mabel said.

"If not you, then who is worthy to receive such power?"

Back at the laser tag arena, Soos looked around for Dipper and Mabel. He couldn't find either of them.

"Who am I kidding?" he asked himself. "I'm not up for this." He took out a coin. "Heads I stay, tails I leave."

Soos tossed the coin up. It didn't come down.

He looked around. Everything and everyone around him froze.

He turned around to see Dipper and Mabel standing there.

"Soos!" they both said.

"We're so sorry we left you hanging, dude," Dipper apologized. "We got caught up in this time-travel junk, and there was a time Cyclops, and this time race…"

"The point is," said Mabel. "We think we know how to fix your birthday."

"Really?" Soos asked. "You did all of that for me?"

"Yes," Dipper replied as he showed a time wish. "This is a time wish. It has the power to alter time, paradox-free, in any way you choose. We think the only thing that can make you happy is meeting your dad."

"The choice is yours," said Mabel.

"You mean, I can finally see my dad by touching this thing?" Soos asked. "And you battled through time and space just to get this for me?" The twins nodded. "Alright, here goes nothing."

With a flash of light, all the dust and bruises the twins received during Globnar were gone.

"There, I fixed you up, dudes," Soos said.

"But what about your Dad?" Dipper asked.

"Well, birthdays are supposed to be spent with people who care about you, but that dude didn't care about me enough to visit me once, let alone fight monsters like you dudes. I mean, you fought in a gladiatorial tournament just to make me happy. I've been ridiculous this whole time. Whoever my dad was could take a hike. I know who my family is, and it's you dudes. Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever. There's still ten minutes before the laser tag closes. You dudes still want to play?"

"Yeah," Dipper replied. "Happy birthday, Soos."

The three ran back into the arena.

Flashback

Back in the past, twelve-year-old Soos went into the backyard after hearing an explosion. He noticed a screwdriver on the ground.

"What's this?" he wondered.

He picked up the screwdriver. He noticed a label that read, 'Mystery Shack'.

Soos went to the Mystery Shack. There, Stan Pines just fired the handyman before turning to Soos.

"Hey you, you think you can fix a golf cart?" he asked.

"Maybe, but…" Soos was about to reply.

Stan tossed Soos an oversized T-shirt. "Boom, you're hired. One size fits all."

Soos watched as Stan started presenting to a new set of customers.

He may have just met him, but Soos had a good feeling about Stan.

End of Flashback

Chapter 14: Dreamscapers

Chapter Text

It was a rainy day in Gravity Falls. The twins were busy playing Battleship.

"Kids, come quick!" Stan called.

The twins went downstairs. Stan was sitting in front of the TV.

"I want you to laugh at this with me," Stan said.

On screen, Gideon appeared to be playing a guitar while flying in the air.

"Who's cute as a button, and always your friend?" he sang. "Little G-I-D to the E-O-N!"

"Uh, Gideon," Dipper groaned.

"Remember when he tried to destroy us because I wouldn't date him?" Mabel asked.

"He's always trying to trick me into losing the Mystery Shack!" Stan added.

"One time, I caught him stealing my moisturizer," Wendy said.

"And yet, our mutual hatred for him bonds us together," Soos finished.

"Come down to Lil Gideon's Tent of Telepathy," said the announcer on the commercial. "Coming soon to this location."

The screen showed the Mystery Shack being crushed by a Tent of Telepathy.

"Should we be worried about that?" Dipper asked.

"Please," Stan replied. "The only chance Gideon has of stealing the shack is by breaking in and stealing my deed."

They heard the sound of glass breaking.

"You mean, right now?" Wendy asked.

The gang entered the room where they heard the noise. They saw none other than Gideon trying to open the safe holding the deed.

"Gideon!" Stan yelled.

Gideon turned around and mustered the best fake smile he could.

"Well, well, Stanford," he said. "My arch-nemesis, we seem to have entered a dangerous game of cat and mouse, but the question remains. Who is the cat, and who is the…"

"Soos, broom," Stan interrupted.

Soos already had the broom on hand. He gave it to Stan.

"No, not the broom!" Gideon yelled.

Despite Gideon's attempts to escape the broom, he was hit.

He ran out of the shack, squealing like a cat.

"You mark my words, Stanford!" he shouted. "One day, I'm gonna get that combination, and once I steal that deed, you'll never see the Mystery Shack again!"

"Good luck," Stan said before slamming the door.

Gideon looked through the window as Stan re-locked the safe.

"The combo's in the one place Gideon will never find it," Stan said. "My brain."

"Your brain isn't as safe as you might think, Stanford," Gideon said to himself as he pulled out his journal. "This is the last straw. It's time to unlock the journal's greatest secret."

Gideon turned to the page with the zodiac and the triangle. He laughed a sinister laugh.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 14

Dreamscapers

Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, and Stan were watching an old western movie.

"Grunkle Stan, why can't we watch a movie we all can enjoy?" Mabel asked as she pulled out a DVD. "High School Musical?"

"Boo!" Stan, Dipper, and Wendy replied.

"You'll learn to like it."

That's when they heard a thud. Soos came in, screaming.

"Dudes, there's a bat in the kitchen!" he said. "It tried to touch me with its weird little bat fingers."

"Don't worry, I got this under control," Stan replied as he lifted the leg rest on his recliner. "Dipper, take care of it."

"Why can't Mabel do it?" Dipper asked.

"Because life ain't fair. Go find a bat so we can watch TV."

"No way, Grunkle Stan. You always make me do dumb chores. I'm putting my foot down this time."

"I said, do it kid, now!"

Dipper and Stan stared at each other like it was one of those duels in an old western movie. It didn't help that there was old western music playing from the TV.

In the end, Dipper blinked.

"Fine, whatever," he said as he headed for the kitchen.

"I win," Stan bragged.

Dipper came out of the bat confrontation with multiple cuts on his arms and forehead. Wendy and Soos were tending to his wounds.

"Why does Grunkle Stan always pick on me?" Dipper asked.

"Because he's an asshole," Wendy replied. "Nuff said."

Dipper chuckled. "You're right. He is an asshole."

"Hey, don't call him that!"

"What? You just did!"

"Last I checked, he's your grunkle, not mine."

"He really doesn't act like one. Think about it, the more painful or difficult the chore is, the more likely it is I'll have to do it. Why doesn't he pick on you guys?"

"Stan's personality is one of life's greatest mysteries," Soos said.

"Dipper, the sink is clogged!" Stan called. "Come and fix it!"

Dipper groaned. He went to do as he was told.

Meanwhile, Gideon just formed a summoning circle in the forest.

"You think your brain is safe, Stanford?" he said to himself. "Well, let's see what my new minion has to say."

He turned to the page with the incantation.

Triangulum, entangulum. Veneforis dominus ventium. Veneforis videntis omnium!

Meanwhile, Mabel was outside minding her own business. She heard a familiar laugh.

"Is that who I think it is?" she asked.

Mabel followed the sound.

Mabel watched as Gideon chanted something in a language she didn't understand. The environment turned gray.

A large triangle-shaped hole opened up. An eye formed inside it. Mabel could hear the sounds of an evil cackle.

After a few seconds, the triangle took a semi-physical form. It had arms and legs, and it wore a hat and bowtie. It turned from black to yellow.

"Gravity Falls, it's good to be back," it said in a childish voice. "Name's Bill Cipher, and I take it you're some kind of living ventriloquist dummy? I'm kidding, I know who you are, Gideon."

"Who are you?" Gideon asked. "How do you know my name?"

"I know lots of things," Bill replied as his voice turned demonic. "Lots of things." His voice turned back to normal. "Look what I can do."

Bill turned to a nearby deer and pulled out all her teeth. He offered the teeth to Gideon, who was beyond terrified.

"You're insane!" he screamed.

"Sure I am," Bill replied. "What's your point?"

Bill gave the teeth back to the deer.

"Listen to me, demon!" Gideon demanded. "I have a job for you! I need you to enter the mind of Stanford Pines and steal the code to his safe!"

"Give me a minute," Bill said as he turned around. He only had to think about it for ten seconds. "I'm sold! I'll help you with this, and in return, I'll help you with something I've been working on. We'll work out the details later."

"Deal."

Gideon reached out his hand. Bill formed a blue flame around his hand before shaking Gideon's hand.

"Well, time to invade Stan's mind," Bill said. "This should be fun. Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a simulation, buy gold, bye!"

Bill disappeared in a flash of light. All color returned to the environment.

"It worked!" Gideon shouted.

Back at the shack, Dipper was sweeping the floor. Wendy and Soos were helping him out. Stan was asleep on the couch.

That's when Mabel came in.

"Guys, Stan needs help!" Mabel shouted. "This evil triangle guy said he's gonna break into Stan's mind and steal the combination to his safe!"

"Triangle guy?" Dipper reacted as he consulted his journal. "I swear I've read about him in the journal." He noticed a page of the triangle guy and read it aloud. "Beware Bill Cipher, the most powerful and dangerous creature I've ever encountered. Whatever you do, don't let him into your mind."

They noticed a triangle-shaped shadow floating over Stan's head. It slowly lowered itself down to Stan's head. Once it got close, it disappeared.

Stan's eyes glowed blue as he shook and screamed.

Mabel took the journal and started reading. "There's a way to enter a person's mind and prevent his chaos. One must simply recite this incantation."

"This is just great," Dipper whined. "I spend all day doing all of Stan's dirty work, and now I have to save him from a brain demon?"

"But if we don't do anything, Gideon might steal the shack, or worse."

Dipper sighed. He hated Stan, but he knew he couldn't let Gideon take the shack. "Fine. Get ready, guys. We're about to journey into the most horrifying, disturbing place anyone has ever been, our uncle's mind."

It took a bit, but they managed to set up a little ritual.

"Okay, in order to save Stan, we need to follow that dream demon into his mind," Dipper said.

"I wonder what Stan's thinking about right now," Soos wondered.

"Hey, focus!" Dipper snapped his fingers. "This is serious! Let's do this!"

He, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy grabbed Stan's head. Dipper recited the incantation.

Fidentus omnium. Magis omentium. Magnesium adharminium. Magnum opus. Habeas corpus. Insectus nominus overratus. Magis tremensium. Magis tremensium. Magis tremensium.

When the four opened their eyes, they found themselves in front of the Mystery Shack, only it wasn't the Mystery Shack. The environment was gray, small items were floating in the air, and there was a magic eight ball in place of the moon.

"Is this Stan's mind?" Mabel asked.

"I figured there'd be a lot more hot ladies," Soos admitted.

"Remember, we have to look out for the triangle guy," Wendy said.

"Yeah, look out for the triangle guy," said a demonic voice.

Everyone turned around to see Bill Cipher floating in front of them.

"You're the guy!" Mabel shouted. "You leave our uncle alone, you isosceles monster!"

Mabel ran towards Bill and jumped at him. She flew right into Bill. Bill took out an oversized watch, waited a few seconds, then sent Mabel flying back to the others.

"Gotcha!" Mabel shouted before realizing she didn't get Bill. "Wait, what?"

"Ah, Stan's family and slaves, we meet at last," Bill remarked. He pointed at Soos, then Wendy, then Mabel, then Dipper. "Question Mark, Ice Bag, Shooting Star, Pine Tree, I had a hunch I might bump into you."

Bill fired a laser at Dipper. It went right through his chest, leaving a hole.

Dipper screamed as he struggled to breathe. He then noticed Mabel sticking her hand through it. She and Soos laughed.

"Stop it, both of you!" Wendy scolded.

"What do you want with Stan anyway?" Dipper asked.

"Just the code to the old man's safe," Bill replied. "Inside the shack is a maze of 1000 doors representing your uncle's memories. Behind one of them is a memory of him inputting the code. I just need to find it and Gideon will pay me handsomely."

"Please. I'm the master of the mind. I even know what you're thinking right now."

"That's impossible!" Mabel shouted. "No one can guess what I'm thinking!"

Bill snapped his fingers. The two handsome boys from High School Musical, Troy and Chad, appeared out of thin air.

"Where are we?" Troy asked.

"We might be in heaven," Chad replied as he turned to Mabel. "'Cause I just saw an angel."

Mabel hugged Chad. "I'm never letting go of your leg."

"You're out of your league, kids," Bill said. "Turn around before you see something you might regret. Later, suckers."

Bill flew into the shack.

"We're going in," Dipper said before turning to Mabel. "Hey, can we leave those boys out here? They're hurting my eyes."

"No, they can help us," Mabel replied.

Troy and Chad held each other's arms to make a throne for Mabel to sit on.

Dipper sighed. "Of course."

"If it makes you feel better, I can be your arm throne," Soos offered as he crossed his arms to make a throne.

Dipper was disgusted at the thought. "No, just no."

That's when he felt someone else scoop him off his feet. He turned around to see that Wendy was the one holding him.

"If Mabel gets an arm throne, it's only fair if you get one too," she said.

Dipper smiled and blushed. He couldn't say no to her.

The six entered the shack. It was a complete maze of doors.

It didn't take long to find the hall of memories.

"I'm sure there's plenty of memories of Stan bossing me around," Dipper sarcastically remarked. "I can't wait to see those.

"Come on," said Mabel. "We gotta find the code before Bill does."

"Let's get searching," said Soos.

Everyone split up to find the correct memory.

Dipper found one where Stan was sitting in a cell with two other people.

"Jorge, Rico, you two are the best Colombian cellmates I ever had," Stan told them.

"Espero que muera, (I hope he dies)" said Jorge.

"Si, (Yes)" said Rico.

"Nope," Dipper said as he shut the door.

Soos found a memory where a younger Stan was offering a vacuum to someone.

"Sir, would you like to buy a Stan-Vac?" he asked. "'Stan-Vac: It sucks more than anything'."

The person shut their front door.

"Gotta work on that," said Stan.

"Boring," Soos said as he shut the door.

Mabel found a very particular memory.

It showed Stan in the back of a car with someone.

It was a woman with very white skin. She had long, orange hair. She was wearing a headband that was covering her ears.

They were both wearing only their underwear.

"Hey Stanley," said the woman. "Do you mind… going a little further?"

Stan smiled a flirtatious smile.

"Hey, what's this?" Wendy asked as she approached the door.

Mabel slammed it shut. She turned to Wendy with a traumatized look on her face.

Wendy knew what she needed to know.

Dipper noticed a door that read 'Dipper Memories'. He opened it out of curiosity.

"Dude, I don't think we should," Soos said.

"I just want to know what he really thinks of me," Dipper said.

"We all know what he thinks of us," Mabel replied. "He loves us. Let's just keep moving."

While the others kept moving, Dipper decided to sneak into the other room.

"Okay, just a quick peek," he told himself.

Dipper looked at all the doors. He could hear Stan's voice giving him multiple orders.

Dipper opened one of the doors.

Dipper got whacked in the head with a newspaper by Stan.

"No buts!" Stan yelled. "Go chop that firewood!"

Past Dipper went to do as he was told. Stan sat next to Soos on the couch.

"Say, Mr. Pines," Soos said. "Why are you so hard on Dipper all the time?"

"Soos, do you want to know what I really think?" Stan asked. He leaned towards Soos and whispered in his ear.

Dipper leaned closer so he could hear.

"The kids' a loser," Stan said. "He's weak. He's an utter embarrassment. I just want to get rid of him."

Dipper felt like he was hit by a bus the moment he heard those words. He backed away from the door. Tears formed around his eyes as the memory came back to him.

"You're weak! You're an utter embarrassment! I just want to be rid of you!"

Dipper fell to the ground and cried for the first time in years as the memory played over and over in his head.

"Dipper, are you in here?" a voice called.

Dipper got up and looked around. He tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. They just kept coming.

When he stopped wiping his eyes, he noticed Wendy in front of him. She had a worried look on her face.

"Dipper, are you okay?" she asked.

Dipper didn't say anything. He kept crying as he hugged Wendy tightly.

"It's gonna be okay, Dipper," Wendy assured in a similar manner to when he comforted her.

Meanwhile, Mabel, Soos, Troy, and Chad found a door labeled 'Top Secret'. Mabel opened the door to see Stan in the bathroom popping picking at ingrown hairs on his chest.

She quickly shut the door. She fought the urge to throw up.

"We've been searching forever," Soos whined. "What if the triangle guy finds the memory before we do?"

"If we wanna find Stan's memory, we gotta think like him," Mabel said. "He's always hiding stuff, right?"

"Yeah, like how he hides his arrest warrants under that rug in the gift shop?"

"That's it!"

Mabel pointed at a nearby rug. She removed it to reveal a hidden door.

The four watched as Stan put the deed to the shack into a safe. He then input the code, 1344…

They shut the door before Stan could finish.

"We did it!" said Troy.

"But what do we do now?" asked Chad.

"Destroy the door before Bill can find it," Mabel said.

Mabel noticed an ax nearby and tried to destroy the door.

"Wait, let me do it," said Soos. "My arms are great at destroying stuff."

Mabel reluctantly agreed to it.

Soos reached out his hand and lifted the door off the ground.

That's when a second Soos showed up.

"Dudes, I just saw a memory of Stan roller skating in short-shorts!" he shouted. It took him a few seconds to notice the other version of him making a door float. "Something weird's going on here."

The Soos holding the door laughed a sinister laugh. It sounded almost like…

Before anyone had a chance to react, the Soos holding the door transformed back into Bill Cipher.

"You kids sure are gullible," he remarked. "I knew you'd lead me straight to the code." He laughed a maniacal laugh before he noticed no one was laughing with him. "It's funny because of how stupid you are. The combination to Stan's safe. That was easier than I thought."

"Well you're a stink-face!" Mabel yelled.

"Awesome comeback, Mabel," said Troy.

"Don't treat me like a child, Troy!"

"Later suckers!" Bill yelled as he flew away.

"Come on, we gotta save Stan," Mabel said.

The four ran after Bill.

Bill flew into another room. His bowtie rang. He pushed it to answer it. Gideon appeared on a small screen on his chest.

"Yello?" Bill said.

"Bill, did you find the combination yet?" Gideon asked.

"Relax, shortstack. I got it right here."

"Perfect, now give it to me."

"Finally!" Bill grabbed the door and watched the memory. "You got a pen there?"

Gideon nodded and took out a pen.

"It's thirteen, forty-four," Bill read.

Before he could finish, he felt the memory fly out of his hand. It flew into another memory that depicted Stan showing tourists the bottomless pit. The memory fell into the pit.

"Whoo, whatever that was, it's gone forever," said Stan.

Bill turned to see Mabel, Soos, Troy, and Chad smiling.

"Mabel did it!" the jocks cheered.

"The shack is safe!" Soos added.

"The deal's off!" Gideon screamed. "I'm switching to plan B!"

The screen turned to static. Bill's yellow body shattered, leaving only his eye, arms, and legs.

Bill got angry. A new red triangle appeared in place of the old one.

"You!" he screamed. "You can't even imagine what you cost me! Do you have any idea what I'm like…" Bill's voice turned demonic. "When I'm mad?"

A circle of fire surrounded everyone. The floor around them lifted into the air. Once they were high enough, Bill turned to giant size.

"So when he's mad, he's really mad," Soos realized.

Meanwhile, Dipper and Wendy sat against the wall. Dipper was still crying while Wendy was comforting him.

"Every time I made a small mistake, my dad always said I'm a disappointment," he explained. "I've always forced myself to be better and show weakness to nobody. A part of me hoped that my time with Grunkle Stan would help, but I was wrong. He feels the same way about me." Dipper cried even harder. "And the worst part is, they're all right. Iamweak. Iaman embarrassment. You're all better off without me."

Wendy couldn't believe that Dipper actually felt that way about himself.

"That's not true, Dipper," she said.

Dipper's tears dried up a bit at that statement. "It's not?"

"No, it isn't. You're very smart and talented, your birthmark is unique and cute, you're a great moral compass and a voice of reason in this crazy town, you're so smart and brave, even when you're scared, and most of all, this summer was boring until you showed up. I had more fun with you than practically anyone else, and if you died or we stopped being friends, I would, like, throw myself down the bottomless pit. When I'm with you, I feel safe, like I can show my true self. You're a hero, Dipper. You'remyhero."

Dipper smiled at that statement. He continued to cry, but this time, he was crying tears of happiness instead of sadness.

Wendy stood up. "Come on. Let's find the others."

Wendy reached out her hand. Dipper took it. She pulled him up.

The two looked around to find the exit. Wendy picked a random door and opened it.

"He's weak, he's an utter embarrassment," came Stan's voice.

Dipper rolled his eyes and prepared to walk away.

"That's what people said about me." Stan said. "It was terrible. I was the biggest wimp on the playground."

Another door opened revealing Stan being picked on by bigger kids on the playground. Dipper stopped walking and watched what was happening.

"So one summer, my pop signed me up for boxing lessons," Stan continued. "It was even worse than the school yard. At the time, I thought my pop was trying to torture me, but he was doing me a favor all along."

Another memory opened depicting Stan being beaten in boxing, before he got the upper hand against his opponent.

Another memory played of Stan using his boxing moves to stop a ruffian from stealing a woman's purse.

"That's why I'm hard on Dipper," Stan finished. "To toughen him up, so when the world fights, he fights back."

"Do you think it's working?" Soos asked.

Stan gestured to Dipper, who was cheering to himself for successfully chopping the wood.

"He's really coming along," he said. "When push comes to shove, I'm actually proud of him. Don't tell him that. His head's already big enough as is."

Dipper couldn't help but feel happy knowing how Stan really felt about him.

Dipper accidentally went through the door. Stan saw him.

"Kid, what are you doing?" Stan asked. "Nice hole in your chest. Let's fix you up."

The hole in Dipper's chest disappeared.

"How'd you do that?" he asked.

"We're in the mind," Stan replied. "We can do whatever we want."

"Well how's about that?"

Dipper heard noises coming from the other side.

"What am I doing?" he asked himself. "I gotta stop Bill."

Dipper ran back through the door. He took Wendy's hand, and they both followed the noise.

"One nightmare, coming up!" Bill said.

"Hope he isn't talking about that British dog man I was dreaming about," Soos said.

And just like that, Bill summoned the creepy British dog man.

"'Ello," it said. "Who's crike for a shindig in the pudding?"

"It's everything I ever feared!" Soos screamed.

Bill then struck Mabel. Her face swelled. Her voice deepened.

"My cuteness!" she cried.

Bill then struck Troy and Chad, eradicating them.

"My dream boys!" Mabel yelled.

"Now to finish you off," Bill said.

Suddenly, a laser beam came out of nowhere and tore a hole in Bill's chest.

Dipper and Wendy flew into the scene.

"Dipper!" Mabel cried.

"Dude!" Soos yelled.

"Guys, Wendy and I know how to defeat Bill," Dipper said. "Just think of whatever you want, and it'll happen, like this."

Dipper fired a laser and eradicated the British dog man.

"Ha, he's dead now," Soos laughed.

"Who told you that?" asked Bill. "Don't listen to him!"

Mabel managed to turn her face and voice back to normal. She then fired kitten heads from her hands. They all scratched Bill.

Soos lifted his shirt and fired a question mark laser beam. This sent Bill flying back.

Wendy summoned a giant ax and swung at Bill. It hurt him a lot.

"Enough games!" he shouted.

He fired a laser at everyone. They all formed hamster shields. They deflected the laser into his eye.

"Ah, my eye!" he screamed. "ENOUGH!"

The floor disappeared. The place became a white, gravityless void.

"I'm impressed with you guys," Bill admitted as his skin turned back to yellow. "You're a lot more clever than you look, especially the fat one, so I'm gonna let you kids off the hook. You might come in handy later, but know this. Darkness approaches, a day will come in the future where everything you care about will change. Until then, I'll be watching you."

With that, Bill disappeared.

Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, and Soos bursted awake.

"We did it!" Mabel cheered.

"Did what?" Stan asked, having just woken up. "Why was I dreaming of two brightly colored and radical young men?"

"Grunkle Stan, you're okay," Dipper said.

"Are you hugging me?"

"No. It's a chokehold."

Dipper got behind Stan and grabbed his neck tightly. Mabel, Soos, and Wendy chuckled. Dipper eventually let go.

"Not bad, kid," Stan complimented.

"I'm just glad Gideon didn't get into the safe," Mabel said.

That's when the place started to shake.

"Do you feel that?" Dipper asked.

Right as he said that, the wall shattered. They turned to see none other than Gideon standing there with a sinister grin.

"I'm sorry," he said sarcastically. "Did I wake you?"

"But we stopped Bill," Dipper said.

"Bill failed, so I switched to plan B, dynamite," Gideon explained. "Spoiler alert, Stanford." He showed he had the deed in his hands. "The Mystery Shack belongs to me, so get off my property."

"Don't worry," Dipper tried to assure. "This is just part of the dream."

He was proven wrong when a wrecking ball showed up and hit the house. The group had no choice but to evacuate.

Chapter 15: Gideon Rises

Chapter Text

A shadow loomed over the town of Gravity Falls. The star attraction, the Mystery Shack, was torn down.

Dipper bolted awake, screaming.

"I just had a horrible dream," he said. "Gideon stole the deed to the Mystery Shack and we all… had to move in with Soos' grandma?"

Dipper turned to see Soos sleeping right next to him.

"That was no dream, dude," he replied.

Dipper screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Shh, por favor," Abuela scolded.

"Finally, the news is on," said Stan.

"In a move that has all of Gravity Falls buzzing," said the reporter on screen, Shandra Jiminez. "Child psychic Gideon Gleeful has taken ownership of the Mystery Shack, previously belonging to area shyster Stanford Pines." She turned to Gideon. "Now that you have the shack, what are you planning with it?"

"I have a big announcement today," said Gideon. "And I would like to invite all the good people of Gravity Falls to join me. Free admission to everyone who wears their Gideon pins."

"I can't believe Gideon beat us," said Dipper. "Usually, I'd save the day. This is all my fault."

"Don't worry," said Mabel. "Looks like I'll be the hero this time. I'll beat Gideon with my grappling hook!"

Mabel pulled out her grappling hook.

"Mabel, no offense, but that grappling hook has only ever helped us twice," Dipper said.

"Two is better than none as they say," Mabel retorted.

"Hey, look on the bright side," said Soos. "You can always play race cars with me." He gestured to his race car track. "They're out of batteries, but we can always pretend."

The Pines members looked at each other.

"We gotta get the shack back," they all said in unison.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 15

Gideon Rises

The whole town gathered around for the Grand Closing of the Mystery Shack.

Gideon burst out of a banner of himself.

"Hello, Gravity Falls!" he greeted a cheering crowd.

"He's the most psychic," said Lazy Susan. "He figured out the secret ingredient of my coffee omelet."

"He knows about my horrifying birthmark," said Toby Determined.

"I love him so much!" Manly Dan screamed as he unintentionally put Blubs and Durland in a chokehold.

Thankfully, Wendy was right next to him.

"Dad," she scolded.

"Sorry," Dan apologized as he released the cops.

Wendy noticed Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Soos sneaking by in horrible costumes.

They were all dressed up like businessmen with hats and ties. Mabel was wearing glasses and a fake mustache. Soos had a sign that read 'Not Soos' taped onto his hat.

"Just wanna say, don't know what we're doing out here," said Mabel. "But I am loving these fake mustaches."

"If anyone asks, I'm not Soos," Soos said, pointing at his hat.

Wendy approached the group. She tore the sign off Soos' hat.

"That'll give you away," she scolded.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Gideon announced. "Today, I am delighted to announce my new plans for the former Mystery Shack. I give you…" Gideon removed the tarp to reveal a mini-display of a Gideon-themed amusement park. "Gideon Land! We're gonna turn this dirty old shack into three square miles of Gideon-tertainment, and introducing our new mascot, Lil' Gideon Junior!"

Bud showed up with Waddles in a Gideon costume.

"Waddles!" Mabel screamed.

"That's it," Stan decided.

The Pines pulled off their disguises and ran onto the stage.

"Everyone, Gideon's a fraud!" Stan shouted. "He stole my property!"

"Arrest him, officers!" Mabel demanded.

"Yeah!" Dipper added.

"Such accusations," Gideon said. "Stanford, I recall you handing me the deed to the shack."

Gideon showed the deed, with Stan's signature on it.

"That's all the proof I need," said Blubs.

Gideon's bodyguards grabbed the Pines.

"Ah, my hearing aid!" Stan yelled.

That didn't go unnoticed by Dipper.

The gang all stood behind the fence and sighed.

"Don't worry, we'll get the shack back somehow," Dipper assured.

"We better," said Wendy. "If I don't work at the shack, my dad's gonna make me work upstate at my cousin's logging camp."

"What?" Dipper asked. "But we need you here."

"Yeah, especially Dipper," Soos added. "He has a giant crush on you…"

Dipper glared at Soos.

"Calyptus trees," Soos corrected himself. "The kids love eucalyptus trees. Saved it."

That's when they heard the sounds of rock music.

"Oh no," Wendy said.

Robbie appeared from behind the tree with a boombox in hand.

"Take me back, Wendy!" he begged. "My arms are too skinny to keep holding this boombox forever!"

"I was never here," Wendy said as she put on a helmet and biked away.

Robbie ran after her. "Have you read my texts? Do I need to send you more texts? Wendy?"

Dipper and Mabel sat sadly on the couch in Abuela's house.

"Don't worry," Soos tried to assure. "Mr. Pines will figure something out. He always does."

Unbeknownst to him, Stan was on the phone with Dipper and Mabel's parents.

"Don't worry," he said. "Your kids are fine. Where are we staying? I put them up at this amazing four-star hotel. We got plenty to eat. Relax, if I thought I couldn't take care of these kids, I'd send them back right away. Uh-huh, you too."

Stan hung up.

"Grunkle Stan, can we order pizza?" Mabel asked.

Stan realized he had no money in his pocket.

Meanwhile, Bud was helping Gideon settle in his new home.

"I've been meaning to ask you," he said. "Shouldn't you be celebrating Gideon Land instead of sticking your head in that book all day?"

"Father, have I ever told you the true nature of this book?" Gideon replied. "It was written many years ago by a brilliant unknown author who learned secrets too powerful for one man. He hid his journals where he thought no one would ever find them." He opened to a very particular page. "And this is why."

Bud looked at the page. It looked like an unfinished drawing. A single corner of a triangle.

"I don't know what this is," he said.

"This is a piece of a blueprint to a secret superweapon," Gideon explained. "There's another journal that has the other piece of the blueprint. According to many maps and charts, the other book's buried somewhere on this very property, and I intend to find it. It's time to begin the search."

Back at Abuela's, Soos and Mabel were playing with the racecars. Dipper was bored out of his mind. Stan approached them.

"Kids, we gotta talk," he said. "I've been thinking, and I can't take care of you anymore. I don't have a house, or a job. You're going home. Your bus leaves tomorrow."

Stan handed the twins two tickets.

"Grunkle Stan, we can't give up," said Dipper.

"Look, I lost, okay?" said Stan. "The best thing you can do is be with your parents. It's over. Gideon won. Summer's over."

Stan left the house. Soos ran after him.

"Mr. Pines, reconsider!" he begged.

"Fine, we'll just do it ourselves," Dipper decided. "Gideon may have the upper hand, but we have one thing he doesn't. The journal!"

"A grappling hook!" Mabel said at the same time. "Oh, the journal."

That morning, the twins made it to the shack. They saw Gideon's bodyguards patrolling the place.

"The bus leaves at sundown," Dipper said. "We have to hurry and get past the guards, over the fence, and convince Gideon to give back the deed."

"Leave that to me!" Mabel said as she brought out her grappling hook.

She fired her grapple. It bounced off a tree, then hit Dipper in the head.

"Now will you admit the grappling hook is useless?" Dipper asked.

"Nope," Mabel replied.

"Okay, what can we use to defeat Gideon?"

Dipper looked through the journal. After a while, he found one page in particular.

"What's that?" Mabel asked.

"I've been staring at this page for so long, but I couldn't figure it out," Dipper admitted. "It seems to be a blueprint of some kind of strange futuristic superweapon."

"Boring! To beat those guards, we need some kind of army!"

An idea popped into Dipper's head. "Mabel, that's it. The gnomes."

Mabel was hesitant.

The twins managed to find the cave where the gnomes lived.

"I wonder what gnomes do when they're alone," said Mabel.

They opened a bush to reveal Jeff taking a squirrel bath.

"This is normal," he said. "Well, well, well, look who came crawling back. So, have you changed your mind about marrying me?"

"No," Mabel replied. "But we need your help."

"You want our help after you left me at the altar? No dice!"

"What if we were able to get you a new queen, one more pretty than me?"

"Her name is Gideon and she has white lovely hair," Dipper added.

"Whoa, mature woman. It's a deal."

Gideon was busy digging for the journal. Bud approached him.

"Honey, you have some guests," he said.

Gideon turned to see Dipper and Mabel on the other side of the fence.

"Give us the deed or else," Dipper demanded.

"Am I supposed to say, 'or else what'?" Gideon asked.

"Yes, and then we're supposed to say, 'or else we'll do this'!" Mabel replied. "Now!"

The bodyguards fell to the ground. Two gnomes had stabbed them both in the back like they were tranquilizer darts.

Other gnomes burst the fence open with a deer. The gnomes surrounded Gideon.

"You're surrounded," Dipper said. "Now give us the deed and get out of here!"

"And let the marriage ceremony begin," Jeff added.

"Alright, you win," Gideon said as he reached into his pocket. "I guess I'll…"

Gideon took out a whistle and blew it. The gnomes all covered their ears and cried.

"What do you know?" he said. "It works on gnomes too."

He blew it again.

"Stop, we'll do anything," said Jeff. "How can we serve you, your majesty?"

"Don't call me that!" Gideon yelled. "Subdue them!"

The gnomes grabbed the twins.

"I must admit, I'm impressed by your creativity," said Gideon. "How did you ever?"

The journal fell out of Dipper's pocket.

"No, could it be?" Gideon reacted. He picked up the journal. "Of course, it'd make sense. The one place I never thought to look, and to think I actually considered you a threat. Every victory you had was because of your precious book. You have no muscles, no brains, no nothing without this book. Goodbye forever."

Gideon blew the whistle one last time. The gnomes carried the twins away.

The gnomes retreated back into the forest.

"Next time, do your own dirty work!" Jeff scolded.

"I guess this is it," Dipper sighed.

"Dipper, don't say that," said Mabel. "You always have a plan."

"No, the journal always has a plan. Think about it. The only cool or courageous things I've ever done was because of that journal. Without it, I can't help you, or Stan, or anyone."

"There's gotta be something we can do."

"What can we do?"

Mabel tried to come up with something. The first thing that came to mind was the grappling hook, but she knew Dipper would turn it down with no hesitation.

Seeing no choice, the twins packed their stuff and got on the bus home. They went to the back of the bus. Stan was staring at them, sadly.

"Sorry kids, but this is for the best," he said.

Wendy waved goodbye.

Candy and Grenda hugged each other sadly.

The bus started to move.

"I can't believe this is happening," Dipper said sadly.

"I can't believe this is happening!" Gideon shouted excitedly. He sat down in the dining room and set down the journal. "At long last, I finally have journal number…"

Gideon noticed that the journal had a number three instead of one.

"Three?" he reacted. "There are three of them? Where's number one? I must have them all!" An idea came to his mind. "Dipper! He must know where it is! He gave me the third one and kept the first for himself! I can't let him leave Gravity Falls!"

Gideon ran out of the shack. He looked up at his builder, who was busy building a Gideon statue.

"You there, is it ready?" he asked.

The builder, McGucket, did his maniacal laugh.

"Only one way to find out!" he replied.

He pulled a lever on the back of the statue. The statue started to glow and make mechanical noises.

Gideon stood on a small platform and was pulled into the statue. The statue was a giant mech suit that he could control. He started to steer the mech to Dipper and Mabel.

"I have a good feeling about that kid," McGucket said.

Dipper looked out the window with a sad look on his face. They were already almost out of the border.

"Hey Dipper, wanna play Bus Seat Treasure Hunt?" Mabel asked in an attempt to cheer Dipper up.

"I'm not in the mood," Dipper replied.

"Come on." Mabel opened the bus cushion. "There's a Canadian coin, a stick of gum shaped like Ronald Reagen's head, miscellaneous fluid stain…"

Dipper noticed a robot heading in their direction. "Giant robot!"

"Yeah." It took a second for Mabel to process what she heard. "Wait, what?"

The twins looked out the window and saw a Gideon bot running after them.

"Halt!" it shouted. "I command you to halt!"

The twins ran to the bus driver.

"Mr. Bus Driver!" Mabel shouted. "There's a giant robot chasing after us!"

The driver turned his head to reveal he was none other than Soos.

"Hey dudes," he greeted. "Don't worry. I've been a part-time bus driver for at least forty minutes. It works just like any other vehicle." He slammed the gas, speeding the bus up. "Hang on, dudes!"

Soos made multiple swerves to avoid being grabbed. They started going up a hill.

"What does he want from us?" Dipper wondered. "Gideon won!" He noticed they were heading towards a cliff. "Soos, watch out!"

Soos slammed the brakes. He was too late. They were hanging off the edge. Soos tried to hit reverse, but the bus wouldn't budge.

The bot grabbed the bus and pulled the roof off.

Soos looked through the manual.

"What in the manual is closest to this situation?" he asked himself. "Raccoon in the engine or angry grandparent refuses to leave the bus? It's probably the second one."

Dipper and Mabel somehow managed to jump off the bus and land on the railroad tracks below safely. Sadly, the tunnel was blocked off. They turned around to see the Gideon bot standing on the tracks, somehow without breaking them.

"Tell me!" he demanded. "Where is journal number one?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Dipper shouted. "You took the only journal I ever had! What do you want with these journals anyway?"

Gideon grabbed the twins and lifted them into the air.

"Let her go!" Dipper demanded.

"You still think you're a hero, boy?" Gideon asked.

He then tossed Dipper aside. He hit the floor hard. Blood dripped out of his nose.

"Once I find the final journal, I'll rule this town!" Gideon declared. "With you as my queen!"

"Dipper, help me!" Mabel screamed.

Dipper thought back to what Gideon said before.

Dipper knew what he had to do. He stepped back, braced himself, and ran towards the edge. At the right time, he jumped.

Dipper landed in the robot's mouth. He attacked the real Gideon and started punching him.

"Let my sister go, you asshole!" he shouted.

Dipper's attention diverted when he noticed multiple screens. Each screen showed a particular townsperson in Gravity Falls.

Gideon landed a punch. "No, she's mine!"

The two traded punches. Dipper noticed that the robot was moving with Gideon's motions. This gave him an idea.

Dipper grabbed Gideon's fist and made him repeatedly punch himself in the eye. This made the robot punch itself too.

The robot fell off the tracks. Dipper flew out of the mouth while Mabel was released from the mechanical hand. They both fell to their demise.

The Gideon bot hit the ground, letting out a massive explosion.

Thankfully, Mabel managed to use her grappling hook so she and Dipper could land safely.

"I told you this would come in handy!" she declared.

"Mabel, that was amazing!" Dipper shouted once they landed.

"Not as amazing as you defeating that robot."

That's when they heard sirens. A police car pulled into the scene. Multiple townsfolk gathered around.

Gideon crawled out of the mech with multiple burn marks. Everyone quickly prioritized making sure Gideon was okay, completely ignoring the fact that Dipper and Mabel had some cuts and bruises of their own.

"Good heavens, what happened here?" Durland asked.

"It was the Pines twins," Gideon lied. "They attacked my statue and blew it up with dynamite! Arrest them!"

"Officers, he's lying!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Sorry, but we trust Gideon," said Blubs. "And nothing short of a miracle could ever change our views."

Dipper was completely dumbfounded. He always knew that the people of Gravity Falls were all complete idiots, with a few exceptions like Wendy, but this was the final straw for him.

"Seriously?" he asked. "You're just gonna take Gideon's word for it? You don't care for the fact that my nose is bleeding…" He wiped some blood off his nose. "But the moment Gideon gets a tiny mark on him, it's all, 'Oh no, Gideon's hurt!' 'Who could have done this horrible thing?' If it was anyone else, you'd have them sent to jail if they were found guilty of any crime by professionals, but if someone accuses Gideon of doing something wrong, all he has to do is say they're lying and you're quick to side with him! With all that in mind, it's safe to say that you're all just a bunch of hypocrites!"

"You dare make such accusations about me?" Gideon reacted like a spoiled brat. "Need I remind you that I'm psychic?"

"How's this for psychic?" Dipper kicked a loose part of the statue, revealing all the screens monitoring the citizens. "Take a good look!"

"Wait a minute, is that me?" Lazy Susan reacted.

"The secret ingredient to my coffee omelet is coffee!" Susan said on screen as she poured coffee into her omelet.

On another screen, Toby Determined was visiting a doctor.

"I can verify that that birthmark is indeed disgusting," said the doctor.

"Hooray!" Toby cheered.

"That's right," Dipper said. "Those pins are hidden cameras. That's why Stan's hearing aid acted up earlier. Who's the fraud now?"

Everyone took off their pins and smashed them. They then turned towards Gideon.

"Gideon, we gave you our trust," said Durland.

"You lied to us!" Blubs added.

"What are you gonna do to me?" Gideon asked.

Durland turned to Tyler Cutebiker. He was a transgender male with red hair and a mustache. Despite those masculine features, he also had eyelashes and a high voice. He wore a green hat, a white shirt, and blue short-shorts.

"Get him," he said sadly.

"Lil' Gidoen, you're under arrest for conspiracy, fraud, and breaking our hearts," Blubs said. "Durland, the tiny handcuffs."

Durland cuffed Gideon in tiny-sized cuffs.

"Oh, and one more thing," Dipper said.

Dipper grabbed Gideon and shook everything out of his pockets, including the second journal and the deed to the Mystery Shack.

Gideon was thrown into a police car and taken away.

"This isn't over, Pines!" he screamed. "You'll hear from my lawyers! I'll be back!"

"This just in," said Shandra. "Local heroes Dipper and Mabel Pines have exposed Lil' Gideon as a fraud. Anything either of you want to say?"

"The Mystery Shack is back!" Dipper declared.

It only took a bit for the shack to be rebuilt, given only the top part was torn down.

A lot more customers were visiting just so they could see Dipper and Mabel. For once, Stan had to step in and limit the amount of meet-and-greets visitors could have per day.

Once the twins were finished resettling into their room, Stan came in to check on them.

"Are you kids doing okay?" he asked.

"Yep," Mabel replied. "All the moldy spots on the ceiling are still there." She pointed at one spot in particular. "Looking at you, Daryl."

"Grunkle Stan, me and Mabel have been talking, and I think there's something we should tell you," Dipper said as he showed journal 3. "This is a journal I found in the woods. It talks about all the crazy stuff that goes on in Gravity Falls." He then showed the second journal. "I found this one off of Gideon. He wanted to get my journal too, and he almost destroyed the whole town trying to get it. I don't know what it means, or who wrote them, but after all we've been through, maybe you should finally know about it."

"I'm glad you showed me these, Dipper," Stan thanked in a serious tone. He quickly started laughing maniacally. "Now I know where you get it all from! Spookums and monsters, this book has been filling your head with crazy conspiracies!"

"But it's all real!"

"You gotta quit reading this fantasy nonsense for your own good. Though, some of them could make good attractions. I couldn't come up with this stuff if I tried. Mind if I borrow this?"

Before Dipper could say no, Stan ran out with both journals.

"Stan, wait, I need them!" Dipper shouted.

"No you don't," Mabel assured. "On your own, you defeated a giant robot and exposed Gideon as a fraud. You're a hero whether you have that journal or not."

"Thanks, but I still want them back."

"I'm sure he'll give them back eventually. What would a boring man like Stan want with those books anyway?"

That night, Stan went to the vending machine. He typed in the code, and opened the secret door.

He checked to make sure no one was around. Once he confirmed the coast was clear, he went downstairs.

He went down a secret elevator, which led him to a secret lab under the shack. He sat down and grabbed a particular book from a case.

The book had a red cover with a gold six-fingered hand on it. In front of the hand was the number one.

"After all these years, I have them all," he said.

Stan set all three journals down. He opened them up to their respective blueprint pages. He connected them all, revealing the full device.

Stan pushed a few buttons and flipped a few switches. Lights in the next room turned on. The machine was working.

Stan ran into the room and pulled a lever. Sparks of electricity flew everywhere. A bright light flashed.

"Here we go," Stan said.

Chapter 16: Scary-oke

Chapter Text

Stan Pines stood and admired the large portal in front of him.

"Thirty long years have all led up to this, my biggest achievement!" he said to himself before the portal struck him. It just put a little fire on one of his arm hairs. He quickly doused it. "Feisty, I like it."

Stan entered the control room. He pushed a few buttons, activating the auto-scan.

"If I pull this off, it'll all have been worth it," he said to himself. "I just need to keep playing it cool. If anyone ever finds out about this…" Stan turned to the picture he had of his great-niece and nephew, Mabel and Dipper. He quickly brushed it off. "Yeah, right. I've come this far. Who could possibly catch me now?"

Stan pulled the lever. The portal shined brightly.

At a secret government facility, two agents were watching a device. It was picking up something.

"See, there it is again," said the first one.

"We haven't seen readings like this for thirty years," said the other.

"Is it coming from deep space? An enemy weapon site?"

The second agent traced where the signature was coming from. It led him to a certain area in Oregon.

"Just as I suspected," he said to himself. "Gentlemen, we're going to Gravity Falls."

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 16

Scary-oke

"Welcome to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack!" Stan greeted his large audience. "We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Lil Gideon."

Stan showed a Gideon doll. The crowd booed.

"Please, please," Stan said as if he was gonna quiet them down. "Boo harder!"

The crowd did as they were told.

"But I didn't catch this pork chop all alone," Stan admitted, before gesturing to Dipper and Mabel. "These two scamps deserve some of the glory." Dipper elbowed Stan. "Okay, most of the glory."

"Smile for the camera," said Toby Determined.

"Your camera's a cinder block, Toby."

"I just want to be a part of things."

Shandra Jiminez got in front of Toby.

"Smile for a real camera?" she requested.

"Everyone say, 'something stupid'!" Mabel said.

"Something stupid!" the family said as they made the stupidest poses they could.

Shandra's cameraman took the picture.

"And don't forget to come to the after party tonight at 8:00," Stan said.

"We're doing a karaoke bonanza, people!" Mabel declared. "Lights, music, enchantment, and an amazing performance by the Pines Family and Friends!"

Mabel showed a picture depicting herself, Dipper, Stan, Soos, and Wendy wearing glittery outfits. Each of them were given titles.

Mabel's was 'The Heartbreaker'.

Dipper's was 'Mr. Paranoid'.

Stan's was 'The Old One'.

Soos' was 'The Dude'.

Wendy's was 'The Cool Lumberjack Girl'.

"I would never agree to that," Dipper said.

"Too late," Mabel said. "I wrote your names on the list. It's happening."

Wendy came in and blew an airhorn.

"Buy a ticket, people!" she shouted. "You know you don't have anything else going on in your lives!" She pointed at the overweight, middle-age man wearing a pizza T-shirt. "I'm talking to you, pizza guy! Don't lame out on me!"

Everyone left the shack until the Pines, plus Wendy and Soos, were the only ones left.

"Things are finally going my way," Stan smiled.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan, now that we have a moment," Dipper said. "I've been meaning to ask for my journal back."

"Journal?" Stan asked before the memory came back to him. He pulled the journal from under the cash register. "Oh, this old thing. It was so boring I couldn't even finish it."

Flashback

Stan actually printed a copy of the journal the night before. He planned to give the copy to Dipper, and keep the original for himself.

Stan noticed that Waddles somehow got in.

"You didn't see nothing," he said.

End of Flashback

"Wait, you're just gonna give it to me?" Dipper asked. "Like that?"

"What else do you want?" Stan asked. "A kiss on the cheek?"

"I gotta go!"

Dipper ran upstairs.

"I wouldn't mind a kiss on the cheek," Soos said, having overheard the conversation.

"Not gonna happen," Stan said.

Dipper and Mabel entered their room.

Dipper locked the door, shut the blinds, turned off all the lights, then turned on a lantern.

"Mabel, getting my journal back made me realize something," he said. "We're halfway through the summer, and still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on this journal. Why? Who wrote it? Where's Journal one? What was Bill talking about when he said everything was gonna change? There's something huge going on right under our noses. It's time we stop goofing around and get to the bottom of it."

"Bro, you looked at that thing, like, a bazillion times," Mabel said. "There's nothing left to discover. Half the pages are blank, remember?"

"I just feel like I'm one piece of the puzzle away from figuring out everything."

"Don't worry, Dipper. Lord Mystery Ham is on the case." Mabel picked up Waddles, gave him a Sherlock Holmes hat, and imitated him. "I play by me own rules!"

Dipper sighed. "I don't know why I tell you things." That's when he heard a noise. "Do you hear that?"

Soos looked out the window and saw a government vehicle pull up.

"Hey, Mr. Pines," he said. "What code word am I supposed to shout when I see a government vehicle?"

"It'spolicevehicle, and…" Stan was about to correct before realizing what Soos said. "Wait, government vehicle?"

Stan looked out the window and saw the government vehicle. He quickly activated a silent alarm.

"The Mystery Shack is now closed!" he shouted. "Everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!"

Dipper and Mabel came downstairs.

"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah, you never close the shop early," Dipper added.

The doorbell rang. Stan answered.

In front of him were two agents wearing black suits and ties.

The first one has a black mustache, and short and straight black hair.

The second agent had lighter brown hair that was spiked on the front.

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen," he greeted in the most chill voice he could. "What can I get you? Key chains, snow globes, rare photos of US presidents?"

"My name is Agent Powers, and this is Agent Trigger," the first agent said as they showed their badges. "We're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town."

"Mysterious activity in the Mystery Shack?" Stan asked, ignoring the irony of the statement. "You gotta be joking."

"I assure you, I am not," said Powers. "I was born with a rare disorder that makes me incapable of experiencing humor."

Stan chuckled.

"I don't understand the sound you're making with your mouth," Powers said. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we're conducting an investigation."

The agents shoved passed Stan and looked around. Dipper noticed them and got excited.

"Wait, did you say you're investigating the mysteries of this town?" he asked.

"That is classified information, but yes," Powers replied. "Look, between you and me, I believe there's a conspiracy of paranormal origin connected to this town. We're just one small lead away from blowing the lid off this entire mystery."

"Are you kidding me? I'm investigating the same thing. I found this journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we can crack the case."

The agents looked at each other, then back at Dipper.

"If you have evidence of these claims, we should talk," Powers said as he gave Dipper a card.

Dipper's excitement grew. "We can talk right now! Please, come in! I have so much to show you!"

"Sorry, agents," Stan said, desperate to defuse the situation. "This kid has an overactive imagination. Paranormal town stuff is all part of gift shop lore. Sells more tickets, you know."

Stan snapped his fingers. Soos approached the agents and gave them headbands with alien antennas on them.

"We have other spots to investigate," Powers said. "We'll be on our way."

Trigger took as many Stan bobbleheads as he could hold. "I'm taking these as evidence."

"Smart move."

The agents left the shack.

"Wait, we have so much to talk about!" Dipper shouted.

It was too late. The agents already left.

"Hold it, kiddo," Stan said. "The last thing you want around here in a party is cops. I'm confiscating that card. How's about being a normal kid? Flirt with a girl or steal a pie off a windowsill, and don't go talking to those agents."

Stan put the card in a box of contraband, and left the room.

Dipper sighed angrily. "He doesn't understand. That could've been my big break."

"Maybe Grunkle Stan's right," Mabel said. "We're throwing a big party tonight. Can't you go one night without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?"

"I'm not gonna raise the dead. I just need a chance to show those agents my book."

"Trust me. The only book you'll need tonight is right here." Mabel gave Dipper a karaoke book. "I say 'kara', you say, 'oke'. Kara… Kara…" Dipper didn't play along. That wasn't enough to wipe the smile off Mabel's face. "I can do this all day."

That night, Soos was decorating the shack for the party. Stan was monitoring everything. Mabel was looking through the options on the karaoke machine.

"Listen, kid, you don't want to hear this voice singing," Stan said.

"Grunkle Stan, karaoke isn't about sounding good," Mabel assured. "It's about sounding terrible, together."

Nearby, Wendy was setting up a blacklight.

"Look at this," she said as she turned on the blacklight. It not only lit up the posters, but it also lit up her teeth. "It looks like I have a crime scene in my mouth." Dipper smiled and blushed. "Ha, I knew you'd love it."

Dipper sighed. "It's not fair. Finally, I meet someone who can help me solve the mysteries, and Stan confiscates their card."

Wendy felt bad knowing what Dipper was going through. An idea came to mind. Wendy knew it was bad, but she wanted to cheer Dipper up.

"Dude, I probably shouldn't tell you this," she said. "But I'm pretty sure Stan hides everything in his room."

"If I go into Stan's room, I could get in so much trouble," Dipper said.

"You're right. That's what makes it fun, dummy."

Soos just finished stacking a bunch of Stan pinatas.

"I can't wait to smash these Stanatas," he said to himself.

Before he even had the chance, though, Grenda showed up and jumped onto the table, crushing the pinatas.

"Grenda has entered the party!" she shouted.

Candy arrived and picked up some of the candy. "Stan's brains look delicious."

"Girls!" Mabel cheered as she hugged the girls.

That's when Evan showed up.

"Mabel, I wanted to say…" he was about to say.

"Bye," Candy interrupted.

Evan tried to speak up again.

"Bye!" Grenda said much more aggressively.

Knowing he wasn't welcome, Evan walked away.

Stan sat as customers came and handed him money.

"The whole town is showing up," he said to himself. "And no sign of those pesky agents. Wendy, Dipper, how are those posters coming along?"

Stan turned to see that Wendy and Dipper weren't there. He sighed, knowing full well what they were up to.

Dipper and Wendy approached Stan's room. On the door were signs that read, 'No Minors Allowed. That means you, Dipper.'

"I'll keep an eye out for Stan," Wendy said. "You go rustle through his weird old man biz."

Dipper entered the room. He looked around the room for the card. It was nowhere to be found.

That's when he noticed a painting of Stan in a red bathrobe sitting on a couch. Dipper opened the painting to reveal the contraband box. In it was the card with the agent's number.

"Yes!" he cheered.

Dipper noticed a nearby telephone and dialed the number.

"This is Agent Powers," said a voice on the other side.

"Hi, this is Dipper," Dipper greeted. "The kid from the Mystery Shack with the… overactive imagination. I have that journal I wanted to show you."

"And you're certain this journal will help our case?"

"I'm positive."

"Very well, we're on our way."

Right after that was said, Dipper heard the signal disconnect. He turned around to see Stan unplugged the phone, while Wendy stood there with a guilty look on her face.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I got distracted."

She pulled out her phone to reveal what exactly was distracting her. It was just photos of Thompson without his shirt.

"Kid, why did you call those agents?" Stan asked. "I told you to do one thing, and one thing only. Ignore the agents and be a normal kid."

"That's two things," Dipper corrected.

"Whatever. Point is, there's nothing supernatural in Gravity Falls."

"Yes, there is. After everything that's happened, you have to know by now."

"All I know is that your dumb obsession is gonna get us all in trouble one of these days. Now go enjoy the rest of the party, because when it's over, you're grounded."

Dipper and Wendy walked out of the room. Dipper stopped to sneak a quick glare at Stan, before walking off.

It didn't take long for the agents to arrive. Dipper saw them and waved to get their attention.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Dip," Wendy whispered.

Dipper approached the agents.

"I'm so glad to see you," he said. "Working together, we can crack all the big questions of Gravity Falls. Trust me, this book is the lead we've been looking for. I'm thinking full-scale investigation. Forensics, researchers, do you have a helicopter?"

"Kid, I'd love to believe you," said Powers. "But this looks like more junk from your uncle's gift shop. I mean, leprecorn? I can't be the only one that thinks that's not funny."

"I can confirm, not funny," Trigger agreed.

"It's real, I swear!" Dipper assured. "You should send it to the lab. Am I saying that right?"

"Your uncle was right about that overactive imagination," said Powers. "We got paperwork to do, kid.Boringpaperwork."

The agents turned back to the car. Dipper ran after them.

"Wait, I swear, it's real!" he shouted.

Wendy realized the situation was getting out of hand. She ran after Dipper.

"Dipper, stop!" she yelled.

But Dipper didn't listen. He scrolled through the pages to find something that would convince the agents. He found certain latin phrases.

"Corpus levitas!" he recited. "Diablo dominus! Mondo vicium!"

After a few seconds, the earth started to shake. A crack formed in the road. A gray, lifeless body emerged. It stared at the four with one glowing green eye.

"See, a real zombie!" Dipper shouted excitedly. "Now can we work together?"

"Sweet mother of Jesus!" Powers shouted.

"It's just one zombie," Dipper assured. "I see stuff like this all the time."

The zombie roared in Dipper's face. Dipper screamed.

Wendy got in front of Dipper and kicked the zombie. It flew back into the hole it came from.

"Phew, that's a relief," Dipper sighed in relief.

Right as he said that, more zombies started climbing out.

"Guys, you can help, right?" Dipper asked.

"Kid, we've been chasing the paranormal for years," Powers replied. "But we've never seen anything like this before!"

That's when the zombies ambushed the agents. The agents screamed as they were pulled into the darkness.

Dipper stared in horror, the reality of the situation finally hitting him.

"MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" he asked himself.

He turned around to see that one of the zombies was about to bite him. Thankfully, Wendy stepped in and used an ax to chop the zombie's head off.

"Come on, we gotta go!" she shouted as she offered her hand.

Dipper nodded, blushed, and took Wendy's hand.

Meanwhile, everyone was having a great time at the party.

Toby was trying to whack a stanata, and failing miserably.

Blubs and Durland were singing karaoke.

Everyone in the crowd danced along to the song.

"What do you say, guys?" Mabel asked, not noticing the ground shaking. "Is this party legendary? When I say, 'Mabel', you say, 'Pines'! Mabel…"

A woman in the crowd screamed. "We're all gonna die!"

"Why does that never work?" Mabel asked.

Wendy and Dipper arrived in the nick of time. Wendy blew an airhorn, getting everyone's attention.

"Everybody, get out of here!" she shouted.

The crowd all hurried away.

"We're all doomed!" Candy panicked.

"Quick, into my getaway pouch!" Grenda shouted as she opened her backpack.

Candy climbed into the pouch. Grenda ran away.

"Mabel, escape while you still can!" Grenda called.

"Wait, don't leave!" Mabel shouted. "We haven't even done our karaoke song yet!"

Wendy and Dipper approached Mabel.

"Well, thanks to acertain someone, that's never gonna happen!" Wendy explained, before glaring at Dipper. "Dipper, what's the one thing Mabel told you not to do tonight?"

"Raise the dead," Dipper replied with a guilty look on his face.

"And what did you do?"

"Raise the dead."

Mabel gave Dipper a disappointed glare.

That's when they heard the sound of roars. They turned around to see the zombies advancing.

"Get back, dudes," Soos said. "This is about to get intense."

He quickly took his phone out and snapped a picture.

"Soos!" Wendy snapped.

"What?" Soos asked. "You gotta admit this is pretty cool."

"Zombies!" Dipper panicked.

"Let's not panic," said Mabel. "They might just be an ugly flash mob."

Mabel was proven wrong when one of the zombies swung at her. Thankfully, Dipper was able to grab her and pull her out of the way.

"Dudes, stand back," Soos said. "I've been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I've seen, I know literally everything there is to know about how to avoid zombies."

One of the zombies was about to bite Soos. Unfortunately for it, Soos punched it in the face without even turning around.

The four knew they didn't stand a chance against all the zombies. They made a run for it.

They tried to escape with the golf cart. Sadly, some of the zombies knocked the cart over and started tearing it up.

Dipper found a nearby laser sphere and tried throwing it onto one of the zombies. The zombie just ate it. It then started projecting lights everywhere, making the zombies look rad.

"Where's Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked.

"How's he gonna help?" Dipper replied. "He doesn't believe in the supernatural!"

Meanwhile, Stan was in the basement working on the portal.

"Those agents could ruin everything," he said to himself. "That kid has no idea what he's messing with. He's stubborn."

He looked at the cover of Journal 1. He could see his reflection through the golden hand.

Sorta like me, I suppose,he thought, before speaking aloud again. "Uh, I got too much on my mind to worry about those kids right now."

Stan was about to continue to work on the portal when he noticed from the monitor behind him that Dipper and the gang were in trouble.

The four made it inside the shack. They all tried to board up the windows. Unfortunately, that didn't work as planned.

"Dipper, isn't there something in the journal about defeating zombies?" Mabel asked.

"No!" Dipper replied. "There's nothing about a weakness! This can't be happening!"

"Well, it is!" Wendy shouted before noticing a zombie about to bite Dipper. "Dipper, look out!"

Dipper didn't have time to react. The zombie was just an inch away from biting…

Then something caused its head to fly off.

It was Stan. He stomped on the zombie's severed head, crushing it.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper and Mabel asked.

"Mr. Pines?" Soos and Wendy said at the same time.

"You four, attic, now!" Stan shouted.

"What? Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked, unable to comprehend the millions of questions he had at the moment.

"Are you deaf?!" Wendy yelled as she grabbed Dipper's hand and carried him upstairs. "Let's go!"

Mabel and Soos followed Dipper and Wendy upstairs. Stan stayed behind, grabbed a bat, and faced the zombies.

"Alright, undead jerks!" he shouted as he started whacking zombies. "Ready to die twice? The only wrinkly monster who messes with my family is me!"

After a while, one of the zombies grabbed Stan's bat and broke it in half. Stan was prepared, and he punched the zombies with brass knuckles.

"You want a piece of me?!" he shouted.

After a while, Stan ran upstairs. He grabbed the grandfather clock and sent it down the stairs. It took down all the zombies in its path.

Dipper and the gang entered the attic. Dipper slammed the door. The four stood still and caught their breaths.

"Is everybody okay?" Dipper asked.

Wendy angrily punched the wall as hard as she could, leaving a crack. Everyone else jumped back in shock.

Wendy then turned towards Dipper with a livid look on her face. Dipper knew what this meant. He tried to back away until he hit the wall. He gulped.

"No, Dipper!" Wendy snapped. "We'renotokay! What were you thinking?! Did you honestly think that this day would be your big break, that you'd be working with professional government agents and getting all the answers?! Even if you had that chance, it's gone now! Because of you and your rash decision, those agents are dead, and many more will be! This is allyourfault, Dipper…" Tears formed around Wendy's eyes as she continued. "And mine! I gave you the idea of sneaking into Stan's room, and I agreed to help you get that card, all because I wanted to help you feel better!"

"You're right," Dipper admitted, looking away. "I wanted answers so bad I put everyone in danger. This is all my fault."

Before anyone could say anymore, they heard the sound of a bang on the door. They backed away, and prepared themselves for what was coming.

The door opened. A hand reached out.

Stan came in and shut the door behind him.

"Grunkle Stan, you're alright!" Dipper shouted, relieved. "That was awesome what you did back there, taking down those zombies left and right! It's like you've… done it… before."

Dipper stopped himself, as the realization dawned on him.

"Kid, Ihavedone this before," Stan admitted. "I've always known about… everything."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Wendy asked, feeling her anger building up again.

"I'm not an idiot! Of course this town is weird, and the one thing I know about that weirdness is that it's dangerous!"

The five heard banging coming from the door. They backed away.

"I've been lying about it to try to keep you away from it," Stan continued. "To try to protect you from it."

A zombie tried to come in through the window. Stan punched it, making it fall down.

"I guess I didn't lie well enough," Stan said.

"Yeah, you think?!" Wendy yelled.

"What do we do? What do we do?" Mabel panicked.

"Normally, I'd consult the journal, but there's nothing in here about defeating zombies," Dipper said as he showed the journal. "It's hopeless."

"Wait, the text! It's glowing in the black light!"

It took Dipper a second to process what Mabel said. "What?"

He set the journal down in front of the nearby blacklight. All these new texts appeared on the pages.

"I thought I knew all the journal's secrets," he said. "But they're written in some kind of invisible ink." Dipper went back to the zombie page. "This is it. 'Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect five-person harmony.'

"Five-person harmony?" Wendy wondered. "How can we create that? I have a naturally high-pitched scream."

"I can make noises with my body," said Soos. "Sometimes intentionally."

"Oh yeah," Dipper realized. "Your stomach makes whale noises, but how is that supposed to help?"

"Boys, Wendy," Mabel said. "I think you're all missing the obvious solution."

The pentet got on the balcony. Mabel turned on the karaoke machine and plugged in the microphones.

"Is this thing on?" she said, making a loud noise.

It didn't take long for all the zombies to gather together.

"Zombies and gentlemen!" Mabel shouted. "I'm Mabel, they're Dipper, Stan, Wendy, and Soos, and together, we're Love Patrol Alpha!"

"I never agreed to that name!" Dipper added.

"Hey, you don't have a right to complain!" Wendy yelled.

Dipper sighed. "I know."

Mabel started the song of her choosing. The words appeared on screen.

Play "It's My Life/Confessions" Medley from GLEE

Dipper:

This ain't a song for the broken hearted

Wendy:

No silent prayer for the faith departed

Mabel:

And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd

Soos:

You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out aloud

All Four:

It's my life

Dipper:

It's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just wanna live while I'm alive

All Four:

It's my life

That wasn't working the way they hoped. The zombies were only getting closer. Mabel realized what was wrong.

"Stan, you have to sing too, or it won't work!" she shouted.

Knowing there was no other choice, Stan decided to go with it.

Stan:

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I could say

My chick on the side said she got one on the way

These are my confessions

If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all

Damn near cried when I got that phone call

I'm so thrown and I don't know what to do

But to give you part two of mine

All:

You better stand tall

When they're calling you out

Don't bend, don't break

Baby, don't back down

Now that they were all singing together, the harmony was finally taking effect. Zombie heads were exploding left and right.

These are my confessions

It's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

These are my confessions

I just wanna live while I'm alive

It's my life

Just when I thought I said all I can say

My chick on the side said she got one on the way

These are my confessions

I just wanna live while I'm alive

It's my life

End Medley

One of the zombies made it up. It was about to grab Dipper.

"Duck!" Mabel shouted.

Everyone else got down. Mabel fired a confetti cannon that tore the zombie's head off. It fell into the punch bowl.

"Thank you!" Mabel shouted to a non-existent audience. "We'll be here all night!"

"Deal with it, idiots!" Stan added.

"Pines! Pines! Pines!" everyone cheered.

Everyone got back in the shack.

"I'm sorry, guys," Dipper apologized. "I ruined everything."

"Are you kidding?" Mabel asked. "Sure, you may have raised a bunch of zombies from the dead, but hey, at least the five of us got to sing karaoke together. No party could ever top that."

"Kids, listen, this town is crazy," Stan said. "You need to be careful. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold onto that spooky journal, as long as you promise to only use it for self-defense and not go looking for trouble."

"Okay," Dipper said. "But only if you promise me that you don't have any other bombshell secrets about this town."

"Promise." Stan crossed his fingers behind his back as he said that.

"Promise." Dipper also crossed his fingers as he said that.

"Man, we have got a lot of damage to clean up. Where's Soos anyway?"

"On it, Mr. Pines," Soos said as he got to cleaning.

Dipper and Mabel went upstairs to get some rest.

"All this time, the author's secrets were hiding in plain sight," Dipper said to himself. He turned on the blacklight and shined it on one particular page, the page that showed the place where he found the journal. "A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore."

Powers and Trigger climbed out of the hole. Trigger was beyond traumatized.

"That was insane," he said. "Bigger than anything we've ever done. Who do we report to?"

Powers pulled a zombie head off of his zombie-proof chestplate.

"This is bigger than we imagined," he said. "We need to bring in the big guns."

"But they'll never believe us," Trigger warned.

"Then we'll make them believe us. This is the town we've been searching for."

Toby Determined appeared, still blindfolded and looking for the pinata.

"Ahh, another zombie!" Trigger screamed as he grabbed his gun.

Toby took off his blindfold and looked around.

"Lower your weapon," Powers said. "It's just a man. A really, ugly man."

Chapter 17: Into the Bunker

Chapter Text

Dipper and Wendy were in Wendy's room watching a horror movie.

"Man, these movies are a lot less scary when you've actually fought real zombies," Dipper remarked.

"Yeah," Wendy agreed. "They're slow, just power-walk away from them."

"How much do you wanna bet that guy gets eaten first?"

The character Dipper betted on got bitten first. It was supposed to be a serious moment, but it just looked so hilarious.

"Chadley ain't pretty no more," Wendy chuckled.

That's when her phone vibrated. She took it out of her pocket and looked at it.

"Oh, it's just Robbie," she sighed.

"Oh, how's all that going?" Dipper asked.

"I'm over him. I just wish he was over me. Look at these texts."

Wendy showed a text that showed a picture of Robbie crying in the rain. There was a winky frown next to it.

"You're not, like, seeing other guys, right?" Dipper asked, clearing his throat.

"Of course I am," Wendy replied. "Meet my new boyfriend."

Wendy grabbed a nearby purple stuffed walrus with a top hat. She squeezed it, causing it to squeak.

Dipper chuckled. "So, you know, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to, I mean, if you and me, I mean, if maybe you…" Dipper wanted to say it so badly, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. "Wanted to join me and Mabel on this mystery hunt tomorrow. Conspiracy stuff and all that, that's all."

"Yeah, I love doing junk with friends," Wendy replied before going back to the movie. "Yo, Chadley, watch out!"

Dipper sighed. "Yeah, that's what we are. Friends."

He pulled out a note that he wrote to practice his confession. He crumpled it up and stuffed it in his jacket pocket.

He then lied down and sighed again.

"Dude, you're laying on my bra," Wendy said.

Dipper bolted up, screaming.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 17

Into the Bunker

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos were at the place where Dipper found the journal. Dipper hit a pen against a lantern to get everyone's attention.

"Thank you all for coming," he said.

"No problem, bro," Mabel replied. "Whenever there's a mystery, you can count on your sister…ee."

"That's a good rhyme," Soos complimented.

"We're here to solve the number one mystery of Gravity Falls," Dipper continued as he showed the journal. "Who wrote this journal? Thirty years ago, the author vanished without a trace." He turned to the page with the hiding spot and shined the blacklight. "But according to this new clue, we may have found his secret hiding place. We just need to find a way to get down there."

"Chop it down, dude," came a voice.

The twins turned around to see Wendy biking into the scene.

"Hey, you came," Dipper smiled, blushing.

"Thanks for the invite, man," Wendy said.

"Of course. Any time you want, I'm… we're, always… us."

"Uh-oh," Mabel teased. "Me thinks there's romance in the air."

"No, Mabel," Dipper replied. "I thought this through, and I'm over Wendy. I've looked at it from every angle, and that is going nowhere. I know what matters to me now, and it's finding the author of this journal."

"Ha, you, over Wendy? Allow me to put on my skepticles."

"I've moved on, Mabel. You should too."

"Hey, is it just me or does that branch look like a lever?" Wendy asked.

"Yeah, it does," Dipper said, noticing the branch.

For the most part, it looked like a normal tree branch, but it looked gray and metallic on the edge, as if some paint faded from it.

"How do we get up there?" Dipper wondered. "Seems we'll need a ladder, or suction-cup shoes, yeah, suction-cup shoes."

Dipper failed to notice Wendy using her belt to climb the tree with ease. She then grabbed her ax and hit the branch with it. The branch moved like it was a lever.

"Oh yeah," she said to the others. "My dad used to make me compete in these lumberjack games as a kid. I guess I ruled at it."

That's when the tree started to shake. Wendy let go of the tree and started falling.

"Wendy!" Dipper shouted.

He ran towards Wendy in an attempt to catch her. He then realized that she was much bigger than him.

"Shit," he muttered to himself.

But by then, it was too late. She fell on top of him, causing him to fall down.

That's when the ground started to open. Mabel and Soos grabbed Dipper and Wendy respectively, and saved them before they could fall down the hole.

The four watched as the ground in front of them stopped descending. A set of stairs appeared.

"Alright, this is it," Dipper said. "Remember, whatever happens down there, we tell no one."

Mabel gave a salute.

Soos turned his hat backwards.

Wendy zipped her lips and threw away the key.

"Now, who wants to go first?" Dipper asked.

The four went down the stairs. The deeper down they went, the darker it got. Thankfully, Dipper had a lantern.

Once they finished descending, they found themselves in a strange room. There was a small bed, some pipes around the place, and some crates.

Wendy found a poster that read, 'WARNING: FALLOUT SHELTER'

"This is going over my bed," she said as she grabbed the poster.

"This is incredible," Dipper said as he noticed boxes in a freezer with different years on them. "It's like he was preparing for a disaster, but what kind of disaster would need supplies for over sixty years."

Soos opened a cabinet to reveal multiple weapons.

"Oh my gosh," he said as he found a FEZ dispenser. "I remember these things. What's that?" He put the face on the dispenser to his ear. "Yes, I will have your tiny face food."

Soos ate one of the FEZ pieces. It tasted worse than he expected.

"Ew, dusty," he said as he ate another one.

Dipper noticed an empty can.

"Guys," he said. "I think this can was opened recently. The author might still be alive, down here."

"Wait a minute," Wendy said as she noticed a map of Gravity Falls barely hanging on the wall. She tore it off to reveal an open hatch. "I think I know where he might've gone."

Evan was walking through the woods, minding his own business.

That's when he noticed an opening on the ground. He knew that wasn't there before.

He wanted to ignore it and keep going, but his curiosity got the better of him. He went down the stairway, into the bunker.

The quartet crawled through the tube. It led them to a room with multiple runic symbols.

"Whoa," Wendy said. "Is this from the past or future?"

"Yeah, this room is way creepy," Soos remarked.

"Not as creepy as Dipper's internet history," Mabel added.

Mabel playfully pushed Dipper. He accidentally pushed a button on the floor.

The hatch behind them shut. The runes in the room started to glow.

The tiles started to close in. Everyone was scared for their lives.

"Dipper, what do we do?" Mabel asked.

Dipper quickly checked the journal and found a page with runes that matched the ones in the room. When he shined the blacklight, four tiles in particular were highlighted.

"Find these four symbols," he said. "Everybody step on one."

Wendy found the first tile on the floor. She punched it with her fist.

Soos found the second tile on the wall. He pushed it.

Mabel found the third tile on another wall. She jumped and pushed it.

Dipper found the last tile. He climbed onto some of the other tiles. He barely reached the button before it was blocked.

A door opened. Everyone hurried for it. Dipper's vest got stuck, so he had to take it off.

"Woo, that was awesome!" Wendy cheered as she playfully punched Dipper. "You ruled back there, man."

"Thanks," Dipper thanked, blushing.

Wendy looked around the room. "Get a load of this crazy surveillance room."

"Look at this," Soos said.

He grabbed a couple of beakers and put them against his eyes, making them appear alien-like. He then made alien noises.

"Soos, that's hilarious," Wendy chuckled.

"Hey bro, you forgot your vest," Mabel said as she grabbed Dipper's vest. She noticed a note falling out of it, picked it up, and read it aloud. "'Dear Wendy, I've always had a crush on…'"

Mabel gasped in excitement. She approached Dipper and showed him the note.

"Dipper, look what I found," she smiled, showing Dipper the note.

Dipper gasped when he saw the note. He quickly snatched it.

"I knew it!" Mabel cheered. "You're not over Wendy at all! Were you gonna tell her today?"

"No, I changed my mind," Dipper replied. "It's a bad idea. I'll just embarrass myself and then I'd be another guy she hates, like Robbie."

"If that was the case, she wouldn't have kissed you."

"What?" It took Dipper a second to realize what Mabel was talking about. "Oh, that. She was having a rough day. She likely kissed me out of impulse, and not as a romantic gesture."

"Even if that's true, just tell her already. One way or another, you'll feel better afterwards."

"Mabel, I can't tell her no matter how much I want to. Drop it, okay?"

"Dipper," came Wendy's voice. "Check this out."

Dipper turned towards Wendy. She entered what looked like a small closet.

"I am a robot," she said in a robotic voice. "I have a metal closet."

"Coming!" Dipper said before turning to Mabel. "This never happened."

He wants to tell her, but he's scared,Mabel thought to herself.Maybe he needs a little push? Good idea, Mabel.

Dipper followed Wendy into the closet.

"Brother, I want you to know that whatever happens," Mabel said before taking a long pause. After a while, she finished the sentence. "This is for your own good."

Mabel shut the door, trapping Dipper and Wendy inside the closet.

"Mabel, let us out!" Dipper demanded.

"Oh, I'll let you out, Dipper," Mabel replied. "As soon as you tell Wendy what you've been wanting to tell her! You'll thank me for this later!"

"What's she talking about?" Wendy asked.

"Nothing," Dipper lied. "Mabel's just been eating sugar packets again."

To be fair, Mabel was doing just that.

"That's besides the point!" she retorted.

"Let us out right now!" Dipper shouted.

"Where are the lights?" Wendy asked as she pulled a nearby rope.

Water from above sprayed the two. After that, a large gust of air blew Dipper and Wendy against each other.

Dipper realized that his face was against Wendy's chest. He quickly backed away, blushing brightly.

An alarm blared. A sign read, 'Decontamination Complete' in bright red letters.

Another door opened to reveal a hidden chamber. There were many glass tubes, some broken, some weren't.

After somehow making it through that scary tile room, Evan walked into the next one.

He looked around, amazed. Out of everything he expected to happen that day, he did not expect to stumble across a secret underground lab.

That's when he noticed a familiar face nearby. Mabel. She did not look happy to see him.

"You," she said.

Evan gulped.

"Whoa, a hidden lab," Dipper said as he and Wendy walked around. "Maybe the author did experiments down here."

"What do you think dug all these tunnels?" Wendy asked.

"Let's hope we don't find out."

That's when they heard noises coming from the tunnels. They screamed and ran back to the closet.

"Mabel, let us out!" Dipper screamed. "There's a monster in there!"

Mabel wasn't listening. She was too focused on Evan.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "How did you even get here?"

"Uh, I was walking through the woods and I noticed a hole in the ground," Evan quickly explained. "I went down it and it led me here. I swear, I had no idea you were here."

"Oh, like I would believe that after what you did."

"I know that was stupid of me…"

"I can forgive stupid! That was just messed up!"

"Okay, I messed up! Is that what you want to hear?"

Wendy noticed the creature getting closer.

"Dipper, just say whatever Mabel wants you to say so she'll let us out of here!" she said.

"Wendy, I…" Dipper was about to say. He stopped himself, giving into his fear once again. "I'm gonna find another way out."

"What? Dude, where are we going?"

The two ran further down the cave until they reached a dead end.

"What do we do?" Wendy asked.

"I don't know," Dipper replied.

They saw as the monster got closer. It let out a roar.

Suddenly, a man appeared, pulled the creature's tongue, and sent it back.

"Back, you heinous beast!" he shouted.

The man came into the light. He was a tall skinny man who appeared to be in his sixties. He had short gray hair with a matching beard. He wore goggles over his eyes, a brown shirt with a beige jacket over it, and black pants.

"Well, I just ripped out a monster's tongue," he said as he threw the tongue on the ground.

"It's you," Dipper said.

"Hurry now. I scared it off, but it will regenerate."

Dipper and Wendy followed the author.

"I wasn't expecting guests," the author said. "I've been down here for a very long time. Weeks, years maybe. I miss orange juice."

"You don't understand," Dipper said. "You're the guy I've been looking for."

"The guy?"

"I've got, like, a jillion questions. Why did you write the journals? Who's after you? Why did you build this bunker?"

"My boy, I'd love to discuss this in time, but we have more pressing matters. It's one of my experiments, a shapeshifter. It can take the form of anyone and anything it sees. It broke free from a cage of solid steel. I've gone crazy trying to catch it alone, but now you're here. Will you help me catch it?"

While Mabel and Evan were still arguing, Soos was looking around the room. He found a lab coat and a briefcase. He put on the coat and picked up the case, pretending to be a smart person.

"Hey, what's this?" he asked as he noticed a big red button. He pushed it, and saw that it activated a cryogenic tube on the screen in front of him. "Ha. Frozen, unfrozen. Frozen, unfrozen."

That's when he saw a piece of paper in front of him. It read…

'EXPERIMENT #210: THE SHAPESHIFTER.

BECAME TWO DANGEROUS!

PLACED IN CRYOGENIC STASIS.'

"Wait a minute," he realized. "Didn't Dipper say there was a monster in there with them?"

"Wait, what?" Mabel asked, having heard what Soos said.

She turned around and noticed the screen and the paper. She put two and two together and realized she made a huge mistake.

"Dipper!" she shouted before turning to Evan. "Stay put. This isn't over."

Mabel and Soos ran to find Dipper and Wendy, leaving Evan behind.

The author led Dipper and Wendy to his living quarters.

"I apologize for the state of things," he said. "I don't get many non-mole people visitors. Now, the beast must have some weakness that we can exploit. I used to have my research on me, but alas, I lost my journals so many years ago."

"Did you say journals?" Dipper asked. "I found one of them. It's how I tracked you down here."

Dipper took out the journal. The author got excited.

"What? Could it be?" he asked. "My boy, I can't express my gratitude." He picked up the journal and skimmed through it. "Ah yes, after all these years."

Mabel and Soos looked around. They couldn't see anything because of the darkness.

Luckily, Mabel was prepared for this. She pushed the lightbulb on her sweater, causing it to emit a bright light.

"That's brilliant," Soos remarked. "Though, isn't electric clothing kinda like a fire hazard?"

"No, it's a fun hazard," Mabel replied. "Now let me light the way!"

The two went deeper into the cave.

"Wendy, isn't it amazing that we're actually meeting the real author?" Dipper asked.

Wendy gasped. She showed Dipper a can, more specifically, a picture on the can. The picture showed a man that bore a striking resemblance to the author. Dipper realized what this meant.

"You know what?" Dipper asked. "We should get going. Can I have my journal back?"

The 'author's' head turned 180 degrees. His neck expanded. His eyes faced opposite directions.

"You're not going anywhere," he said in a distorted voice.

Spider legs emerged from the creature's body. He climbed the wall.

The creature then revealed his true form. He looked like a giant mutated spider with one tiny arm, one swollen arm, and multiple tiny legs.

"How do you like my true form?" he asked. "Go on. Admit you like it."

"What did you do with the real author?" Dipper demanded.

"You'll never find him. That six-fingered nerd hasn't been himself in thirty years, but I do thank you for bringing me his journal. He used to write it while I was in my cage. So many wonderful forms to take."

The creature took multiple forms, from a goblin, to a gnome, to a slender creature.

"Hey, body-snatcher, snatch this!" Wendy shouted as she threw a can.

The can did absolutely nothing.

The creature took on a frog form. He stretched its tongue. Wendy blocked it with a metal tile. The creature pulled his tongue back, but the metal object stunned him.

Dipper managed to catch the journal.

"Run, run, run!" he shouted.

The creature took the form of a giant pill bug and rolled after the duo.

Dipper noticed the path split in two. He threw his flashlight in one direction while he and Wendy went the other way.

Dipper and Wendy ran into Mabel and Soos.

"Dipper, Wendy!" Mabel smiled.

"Mabel, Soos!" Dipper said before hesitating. "Wait, how do we know you aren't the shapeshifter?"

"Maybe I am," Soos gasped. "Mabel, inspect my body."

Mabel poked Soos' gut. Soos laughed.

"It's definitely them," Dipper sighed before noticing Wendy's knee bleeding. "Oh shit, Wendy, you're bleeding."

"It's just blood, man," Wendy assured before turning to the others. "We got attacked by the shapeshifter. He broke out of his cage, pretended to be the author, and wants Dipper's journal."

Wendy tore off a sleeve of her flannel jacket and used it to cover her cut.

"Imagine if he escapes into town," Dipper added. "He could transform into anything. We can never trust anyone again."

"What do we do?" Mabel asked.

"Well, he took us into his home, tricked us, and tried to destroy us," Wendy replied. "I say we return the favor."

Dipper and Mabel followed the sounds of the shapeshifter.

"Oh boy, Dipper," Mabel said dramatically. "That book sure is full of some great monsters."

"There you are," the shapeshifter said before noticing Mabel. "Oh, and a new one."

The creature took Mabel's form, then Dipper's. After a bit of thinking, he decided to take both forms at once. Thus, it became an indescribable abomination.

The twins made a run for it. They found Wendy and Soos getting the pipe ready.

Soos turned the knob. The water didn't spray out like they planned.

The shapeshifter grabbed the journal with his tongue. Dipper fought to keep a hold of it.

"You leave him alone!" Wendy shouted as she grabbed the journal too.

Unfortunately, the creature successfully grabbed both Wendy and the journal. Wendy brought out her ax and planned to slice off the shapeshifter's tongue.

Before she had the chance though, Soos finally got the pipe to work. The water hit both Wendy and the shapeshifter.

To make matters worse, the place started to flood. Everyone struggled to keep their heads above the water.

Wendy hit a nearby stone, causing her to run out of breath.

When the water was finally gone, Dipper found Wendy's ax, but not Wendy herself.

He picked it up and started looking around.

"Wendy!" he called.

What he saw horrified him. Wendy was on the floor, dead.

"No, no, no!" he yelled as he shook Wendy's body. "Can you hear me? Please be okay!" She didn't move. "No, this is all my fault! If I told you when we were in the closet, we wouldn't be in this mess, but I was too scared and now you could be hurt or worse and I never got a chance to tell you that… I love you, Wendy!"

Dipper hugged Wendy's body, crying his eyes out.

"Uh, Dipper?" came a voice.

Dipper turned around. Behind him was Wendy. She had the journal in hand.

The Wendy on the floor bolted up and attacked the other Wendy.

Both Wendys fought each other. Dipper grabbed the ax, prepared to attack.

"I'm the real Wendy!" one Wendy shouted.

"No, she's the shapeshifter!" the other yelled.

"I can't tell who's who!" Dipper said. "Give me a sign!"

The Wendy on the left winked. The other one zipped her lips and threw away the key.

Dipper knew who to attack now. He went for the Wendy on the left. She screamed in pain as she revealed she really was the shapeshifter.

Dipper noticed the nearby cryo-chamber.

"Push him in!" he shouted.

He and Wendy pushed the shapeshifter into the chamber.

Evan saw what was happening through the security cameras. He noticed the big red button that controlled the cryo-chamber. He pushed the button.

The shapeshifter tried to break free from the chamber by taking multiple forms. None of them worked.

"Let's get out of here, dudes," Soos said.

Right as everyone was about to leave, the shapeshifter banged on the glass.

"You think you're so clever, don't you, Dipper?" he asked. "But you have no idea what you're up against. You'll never find the author. If you keep digging, you'll meet a fate worse than you can imagine, and this will be the last form you ever take."

The shapeshifter took Dipper's form and imitated him screaming in fear. Then, the shapeshifter froze solid.

"Good luck sleeping tonight," Soos chuckled.

The gang left the bunker.

"Mabel, I know what I did was horrible," Evan told Mabel. "And I really am sorry."

Mabel looked away as she thought to herself. She was still very upset at Evan for what he did to her, but she could tell that he genuinely regretted doing it.

"I'm not saying I forgive you," she said as she brought out her hand. "But I am giving you a chance to prove that you deserve it."

Evan gladly took Mabel's hand.

Dipper couldn't take his mind off of everything that happened, including his accidental confession.

"Wendy, I said some stupid things in the heat of the moment," he said. "Can we pretend that never happened, please?"

He felt Wendy touch his shoulder.

"Dude, it's okay," she assured. "I always kinda knew."

"Wait, you did?"

"Yeah. You think I can't hear that stuff you're constantly whispering under your breath, or that I don't see how red your face gets whenever you're talking to me? I mean, seriously, you look like a tomato right now."

Dipper saw his face through the reflection of Wendy's eyeballs. He realized she was right. He covered his face in embarrassment.

"Dipper, I'm flattered," Wendy admitted. "And I like you, Dipper, I really do, but I don't like you like that."

Dipper sighed. "Mabel said confessing would make me feel better, and that your kiss meant I had a chance."

It took Wendy a second to realize what Dipper was talking about.

"Oh, that," she said, blushing in embarrassment. "That wasn't meant to be a romantic gesture. I just did it as a thank-you for comforting me."

"That's what I feared," Dipper sighed. "You know, now that I did confess, I feel anxious, scared, kinda itchy."

"Don't be itchy, man. When I told you in Stan's mind that you're my hero, I meant it."

"So, things won't be too awkward now?"

"I just wrestled myself, dude. That was awkward. If you can handle that monster, you can handle a little awkwardness."

Dipper chuckled. "Friends?"

"Yeah, friends."

Dipper and Wendy fist-bumped.

"Oh, see you for movie night tomorrow," Wendy said. "Your place this time, okay?"

Wendy got on her bike and biked away.

Dipper only watched in silence as Wendy biked farther and farther away. He was still scared and sad knowing what happened, but he also felt relieved.

"So, how did it go?" came Mabel's voice.

Dipper jumped back, scared.

"What did you hear?" he asked.

"Everything," Mabel replied. "All the time."

"Mabel, how can everything be so amazing yet so terrible at the same time?"

"I'm sorry for being so pushy, Dipper. If it's any consolation, I'm already working on a list of potential rebound crushes."

"Thanks."

That's when Soos sat on the log, causing it to lean a little.

"It sucks we still haven't found the author," he said. "At least I have this cool briefcase."

Soos took the briefcase out of the coat pocket. It opened to reveal it was actually a laptop.

"Soos, that's a laptop," Dipper said. "And a busted one too."

"I bet I can get this fixed up in a few days," Soos said. "It's gonna take a lot of duct tape."

"This could be our next clue."

Later, Dipper and Wendy were watching a movie at the Mystery Shack.

"Is it just me, or does Gravity Falls TV have the worst movies?" Dipper asked.

"You're watching the Gravity Falls Bargain Movie Showcase," said the announcer on the TV. "Coming up next, 'The Widdlest Wampire', 'The Planet People of Planet Planet', 'Help, My Mummy's a Werewolf', 'Attack of the Exclamation Points', 'The Man with No Taste', 'Ghost Turtle', 'Help, My Mummy's a Werewolf 2: This Again'!"

"Do you never wanna watch this channel again?" Dipper asked.

Chapter 18: The Golf War

Chapter Text

Dipper and Wendy were watching TV when Stan came into the room.

"Who wants Stan-cakes?" he asked. "They're like pancakes but they have some of my hair in them."

"Pass," Dipper and Wendy said in unison.

That's when Mabel burst in.

"It's here!" she cheered. "I waited all morning and it's already here! The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels! My picture's gonna be in the newspaper! Check it!"

Mabel showed the paper and closed her eyes.

Dipper and Wendy looked at the picture, and scowled.

"Pacifica Northwest declared v-necks the look of the season," Dipper read aloud. "Looks like someone bought the front page."

"And she's wearing a lot of makeup, as usual," Wendy added as she rolled her eyes.

Stan looked at the paper, just now realizing what was going on.

"Is it legal for a child to wear all that?" he asked.

"Pacifica, she ruins everything," Mabel sighed.

"Cheer up, Mabel," Dipper assured. "No one reads newspapers anymore."

Right as he said that, Soos came in.

"Dudes, v-neck season is upon us!" he announced. "Who wants to help me get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further with the w-neck."

Mabel poured herself a glass of juice and chugged it all down.

"I need something to take my mind off of this," she said.

"Looking for a distraction from your horrible life?" asked the announcer on TV.

Mabel looked at the TV with intrigue. "Why, yes!"

"Victory, honor, destiny, mutton, these old-timey sounding words are alive and well at the Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt!"

"Whoever likes golf is a nerd," Wendy remarked.

"You said you like golf just yesterday," Dipper argued.

"Exactly."

That's when an idea came to Dipper's mind. "Hey, Mabel likes golf too. She's been amazing at it since we were kids." He turned to Mabel. "What do you say, Mabel? We had a stressful couple days. Would kicking out butts at mini-golf cheer you up?"

"Maybe a little," Mabel admitted.

"Come on, Mabel!" Dipper raised his fist in the air. "Victory!"

"Honor!" Mabel added, raising her fist as well.

"Destiny!" Wendy continued, also raising her fist.

"Mutton!" Stan finished.

"Victory, honor, destiny, mutton!" the four cheered as they walked out.

"And Soos can look after the house," Stan said when they were done cheering.

Soos heard Stan say that. Instead of taking offense, he shed a small tear of joy.

"My time has come," he said.

Play Gravity Falls Intro Music

A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.

The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.

Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.

DIPPER

Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.

MABEL

Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.

STAN

Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.

WENDY

Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.

SOOS

Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.

Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.

End Intro

One Cruel Summer

Chapter 18

The Golf War

Wendy and the Pines reached the mini-golf. The four looked around, impressed.

"Ah, mini-golf," said Mabel. "The sport of mini-champions."

"The grass is fake but the fun is real," Dipper added. "There's something here for everyone."

Dipper noticed Robbie spray painting a wall nearby before getting caught by security.

Mabel put her ball down, prepared herself, and swung the club.

The ball bounced off the walls, went through a tunnel, hit the nose of a sleeping McGucket, and landed in the hole.

"Holy smokes!" Stan shouted in surprise. "Someone in our family actually has talent!"

"Grunkle Stan, you ain't seen nothing yet," Dipper said.

Several hole-in-ones later, Mabel was at the last one.

"This is it," said Dipper. "If Mabel gets a hole-in-one here, she'll beat her all-time high score."

You can do it, Mabel,Mabel thought to herself.Just pretend the ball is Pacifica's face.

Mabel hit the ball. It went into the windmill.

After waiting a few suspenseful seconds, the ball finally came out. It spun around the hole for a bit…

Then it landed in a puddle of water.

"Ah come on!" Mabel shouted as she threw her club to the ground.

"Don't worry about it, Mabel," Stan assured. "As far as I'm concerned, you're still better than anyone else in Gravity…"

Before Stan could finish that sentence, the group heard a ball land in the hole.

They turned around to see none other than Pacifica standing there with her usual grin.

"I'm sorry," she said sarcastically. "I didn't know it was 'Hobos Golf Free Day'."

"Pacifica!" Mabel and Wendy muttered in unison.

"Well, if it isn't the Pines family," Pacifica pointed at Stan, then Dipper, then Mabel. "Old, lame, braces."

"What are you doing here, North-wretch?" Wendy asked. "Doesn't your family own their own private course?"

Pacifica finally noticed Wendy. Her straight face came off for a second, but she quickly put it back on.

"Even the Corduroys are allowed here," she remarked. "For your information, our private course is going through some renovation. You know, with real workers, and not hillbillies."

That was the last straw for Wendy. She was about to lunge at Pacifica.

Dipper and Mabel grabbed Wendy to make sure she wouldn't hurt anyone.

Dipper noticed two figures, who he assumed were Pacifica's parents, and noticed both of them were letting it happen.

"Are you really gonna let your daughter treat people like that?" he asked.

"Why shouldn't we?" asked the father. "You wouldn't understand, seeing you're not rich."

Wendy took a couple breaths, and counted in her head until she was calm.

"Hey, how's that whole fraud thing working out for you?" she asked.

"It's great, actually," Pacifica said, though there was a hint of nervousness in her voice. "That's the thing about money. It makes problems go away."

"Well, it can't buy you skill," Mabel said. "You walked into the game of the mini-golf champion."

"Sergei!" Pacifica snapped her fingers. A man appeared right next to her. "This is Sergei, my trainer, so if you don't mind moving out of the way of the professionals..."

Pacifica went to the bonus hole, and got a hole-in-one. Pyrotechnics went off. The crowd applauded.

"Well, I want a rematch!" Mabel snapped. She struggled to come up with an insult, but then the perfect one came to mind. "YOU WALKING ONE-DIMENSIONAL BLEACHED BLONDE VALLEY GIRL STEREOTYPE!"

Pacifica turned around, the smirk on her face now shifted to anger.

"Like, let's do this," she said.

That's when storm clouds filled the sky.

"Hear ye, hear ye," the runner of the course announced. "The mini-golf is now closed due to weather! The king of mini-golf has now spoken!"

"This isn't over," Pacifica said. "Me, you, midnight. We'll see who's best."

"I'll be here," Mabel said.

Wendy and the Pines went to the Mexican restaurant, Hermanos Brothers.

Dipper fed Mabel some nachos.

"Time to scratch mini-golf at my talents list," Mabel sighed.

"Don't give up, Mabel," said Dipper. "If you beat her at this, she could never rag on you again. Imagine it."

An idea came to Mabel's mind.

In Mabel's fantasy world, she was at a mall looking for sweaters to try. Pacifica was nearby.

"Uh, the section for ugly grandma clothes is over there," Pacifica said, pointing towards said section.

"Oh yeah?" Mabel retorted. "Well, the section for people who lost at mini-golf is over THERE!"

Mabel screamed the last part as she pointed to the exit.

Troy and Chad from High School Musical entered with a gurney. They were both wearing medic attire.

"We came as fast as we could," said Troy.

"Someone got seriously burned," Chad added.

"Oh!" the two said together as they high-fived. "Up top!"

"I'm ruined!" Pacifica said as she fell to the floor.

Mabel woke up from her daydream with newfound confidence.

"You're right, Dipper," she said as she stood on the table. "I just need to practice a little more before midnight."

"Go to the golf course after dark, you say?" Stan asked with fake hesitance. "I don't know. We'd have to break in, and…" He couldn't keep up the act for long. "Just kidding! Let's break in!"

Stan drove to the golf's parking lot, not caring about the sign telling him to stop.

Once they were out of the car, Stan removed a nail from the fence so he could make an opening.

Dipper and Wendy crawled through the opening. Mabel was about to follow them when Stan stopped her.

Stan took a sticker out of Mabel's scrapbook, and put it on Mabel's sweater. The sticker had a trophy with the words, 'U DA BEST' on it.

"Knock her dead, kid," Stan said.

Mabel nodded, then crawled through the gap.

Mabel tried again and again to get a hole-in-one on the last hole. None of them made it.

"Gosh darnit!" she yelled.

"I don't get it," said Dipper. "What's wrong with this hole?"

That's when Dipper heard noises coming from inside the windmill.

"Mabel, Wendy, grab your clubs," he whispered.

Wendy and the twins prepared their clubs. Dipper noticed a hatch and slowly opened it.

Inside the windmill were a bunch of tiny creatures with golf ball heads wearing Dutch outfits.

The trio screamed. When the creatures noticed them, they screamed too.

After realizing no one was in danger, one of the creatures approached.

"Are we good?" he asked.

The trio nodded.

"Alright then," said the creature. "Hello, I'm Franz. Welcome to our home."

"What is this?" Mabel asked. "Are you tiny humans, or enormous mini-humans?"

"Neither. We're Lilliputtians, and we control the balls. Behold."

The trio watched as the Lilliputtians moved the ball onto a conveyor belt. The ball went down a track similar to a marble track you'd see at a science museum. After it was at the end of the track, it rolled straight into the hole at the end of the course.

"That's incredible!" Dipper said. "And so needlessly complicated."

"Shucks," said Franz. "It's only our lifelong passion. Would you like us to elaborate through song?"

"We're good," Wendy said, much to the Lilliputtians disappointment.

"What are you doing here anyway?" asked Franz.

"We're kinda doing this golf tournament against my rival, Pacifica," Mabel explained.

Some of the Lilliputtians whispered to each other.

"We know all about rivals," Franz said with a frown.

"Put a clog in it, ya windmill lubbers!" came a piratey voice.

The trio turned around to see the pirate ship course had a bunch of pirate-themed Lilliputtians on the ship.

"These frilly bottom popinjays are terrible at controlling the balls!" shouted one that looked like the captain. "We are the ball masters!"

"Shut your mouths, you showboating pirates!" came another voice, this one sounding French.

The trio turned towards the Eiffel Tower course. Some Lilliputtians wearing French outfits were on top of it.

"Everyone knows the Eiffel Tower hole is the best!" said one of them.

"En fait, je ne connais pas le français (I actually don't know French)!" another shouted.

"Stay thee your comments, ye scurrilous Frenchmen!" came a fourth voice.

Everyone turned to the Castle course. Handsome Lilliputtians in shining armor were on top of the towers.

"None control the balls better than the Knights of…" one said before noticing the word 'wieners' spray painted on the wall. "Wiener castle? Who wrote this?"

"We'll settle which hole is the best!" Franz shouted. "Attack!"

The Lilliputtians from every hole charged into battle.

Dipper chuckled. "These guys are a riot."

"Guys, stop it!" Mabel said. "Your fighting is inadvertently adorable!"

"Adorable we are, hugeling," said Franz, who was now badly injured. "But our tale, less so. Every hole in the park thinks they're superior, from the cowboys in the east to the grimy minors of the south. If only there was some way to decide which side is best with maybe an award or trophy? I don't know."

"Franz, look!" shouted one of the other Dutch Lilliputtians.

The Lilliputtians noticed the sticker on Mabel's sweater.

"The sticker," said Franz. "It has the word 'best' on it. Decide for us, hugeling. Choose which mini-kingdom to give your sticker to and end our war."

"I don't know," Mabel said hesitantly. "I don't want to get involved in your mini-blood-feud."

"Psst, Mabel," Wendy whispered, leading Dipper and Mabel away. "This is perfect. These guys control the course. Just tell them you'll give the sticker to whichever group does a better job of helping us win."

"I don't know about this," Dipper argued. "We'd just be taking advantage of them."

"I'm with Dipper on this one," said Mabel. "I want to beat Pacifica, but doesn't this sound like cheating?"

"Pacifica is rich, guys," Wendy retorted. "She's cheating at life."

Mabel thought about it before making her decision.

Wendy blew one of the tiny bugle horns, getting everyone's attention. She then gave it back to the knight she borrowed it from.

"People of the holes, we're gonna have a game of mini-golf!" Mabel announced. "And whoever does the best job of helping me win gets the sticker! Just remember, as long as you're helping me, no fighting!"

The Lilliputtians smiled, giving Mabel their word.

Pacifica and her parents made it to the golf course on their limousine.

"Now remember, Pacifica," said her father, Preston. "Winning is everything."

"And also looks," her mother, Priscilla, added.

"Dad, I've been practicing for hours, okay?" Pacifica assured. "I got this. You will stay and watch, right?"

"Pacifica, we have a party to go to," Preston replied. "We'll just read about your victory in the paper."

Pacifica was about to get out of the limo when Preston stopped her.

"Oh, and whatever happens, just remember one thing," he said. "You're a Northwest. Don't lose."

Pacifica got out of the limo with Sergei. The moment they were out, the limo drove away.

Pacifica and Sergei entered the golf course.

"How much do you wanna bet they're no-shows?" Pacifica asked.

Right as she said that, the lights turned on to reveal Mabel, Dipper, and Wendy.

"Looking for someone?" Mabel asked.

"Waiting in the dark," Pacifica sarcastically remarked. "Not creepy at all. Seriously, though, I don't know why you bothered to come, unless you have something up your sleeve."

"Oh, I guess you could say we got a little something," Mabel joked as she playfully elbowed Wendy.

Mabel and Pacifica were ready for the first round.

"Remember," Sergei reminded. "Eighteen holes, standard rules, winner lives in glory, loser wallows in eternal shame. On your mark, get set…" Sergei fired a gun in the air. "Mini-golf!"

The first hole was the old west.

The Lilliputtians moved a tiny wagon so Pacifica's ball would be blocked.

When it was Mabel's turn, some Lilliputtians messed with the green so the ball would make it to the hole. When it still didn't go in, a Lilliputtian at the water tower fired a pistol, causing the ball to land in the hole.

"What?" Pacifica reacted in total shock.

Mabel snuck the Lilliputtians a thumbs-up.

When they reached the pirate ship hole, Mabel went first. The pirates launched the ball into one of the cannons, the one that aimed directly for the hole.

When it was Pacifica's turn, the pirates just launched the ball into her mouth.

"Are you serious?" she asked.

After a few more holes, they reached the miner hole.

"Huh, miner hole," Dipper chuckled, before a thought came to mind. "I wonder what happens down there."

Mabel's ball landed in the mine. The miners prepared to carry it down the track.

"Stop!" came one miner. "There's been a gas leak! Anyone who goes in there will die!"

A Lilliputtian taller and more muscular than the rest arrived at the scene.

"I will take it," he said.

"No!" a young Lilliputtian cried. "Don't go, Big Henry! We need you!"

"Go home, Polly."

Big Henry carried the cart down the mine. He resisted the urge to give into the gas.

After a long trudge, he reached the elevator. He put the cart in the elevator, and pushed the button.

He looked at a picture drawn by Polly. He smiled and teared up a bit, then he finally gave in.

The ball came out of the mine, and went straight into the hole.

Pacifica screamed in frustration. "Sergei, soda, now!"

When they weren't looking, Mabel opened the mine.

"Guys, that was badonkulous," she said. "I don't want to call it early, but I think the miners might have one of these in the future."

She gestured to the sticker. The miners cheered.

Franz heard Mabel's conversation and grunted.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked. "After everything we worked so hard for?"

"Calm down, Franz," said another Lilliputtian. "There may be another way to win the hugelings' favor. Knock on wood."

The two knocked on their wooden shoes.

Sergei got Pacifica a soda from the vending machine.

"There's something going on, Sergei," Pacifica said. "I can feel it."

"Maybe they has little people who control where the balls go," Sergei suggested.

"We gotta get you English lessons. I mean, think about it. I'm globally ranked. It's ridiculous that she's beating me."

Pacifica chugged the can of soda in one go. She felt something solid get in her mouth. She quickly spit it out.

"I always forget about the pit," she said to herself. "Get me another one, Sergei."

That's when Pacifica felt herself get pulled into the bush behind her.

Mabel, Dipper, and Wendy waited for Pacifica to show up for the final hole.

"I wonder what Pacifica's face will look like when we win," Wendy wondered. "I bet it'll be…" Wendy made a disgusted face before returning to her normal one. "Like that."

"Guys, is it bad that I feel good about her feeling bad?" Mabel asked.

"Just enjoy your victory, Mabel. Trust me, Pacifica will be fine."

That's when they all heard screaming. They turned to see the Dutch Lilliputtians have tied Pacifica against a conveyor belt.

"Let me go!" she demanded.

"Welcome," said Franz. "I can tell you're loving this, right?"

"What are you doing?" Mabel asked. "This wasn't part of the deal!"

"Okay, we saw you were favoring the miners and we figured, what's better than beating Pacifica? Killing her, right?"

"As if," Pacifica said. "I'm calling the police. Where's my phone?"

She noticed some of the other Lilliputtians playing with Pacifica's phone.

"Hey!" she shouted.

"So how about it?" asked Franz. "Who's the best now?"

"Not so fast, landlubbers!" came the pirate captain's voice.

Everyone turned to see the Lilliputtians had Sergei tied up and about to walk the tiny plank.

"If you're going to play dirty, then so are we!" the captain declared. "Now give us the sticker or he walks the plank!"

The other Lilliputtians came out of their holes. They all started to argue.

"Enough!" Mabel snapped. "You know what? No one gets the sticker!"

"Sacre-boo!" shouted one of the French Lilliputtians. The others started to boo with him.

"No, no booing! No one gets the sticker because you're all being jerks? Why can't you just get along?"

"Because we hate each other," said one of the Dutch Lilliputtians.

"That's how rivalries work," the pirate captain added.

"Then maybe… maybe rivalries are dumb," Mabel said.

Mabel, Pacifica, and Wendy looked at each other guiltily, as they realized their rivalry with each other was stupid as well.

"Maybe you don't settle them with petty competitions," Mabel continued. "Maybe the only way to be 'the best' is by ending the fighting and working together."

Mabel took the sticker and ate it.

"It's all so clear," said Franz. "If we get the sticker…"

"Then we can cut open her belly and get the sticker," the captain finished.

The Lilliputtians surrounded Mabel and prepared to cut her open.

One of them pulled a lever, starting the conveyor belt Pacifica was tied to.

The windmill started spinning faster and faster as Pacifica moved closer and closer to it at a slow pace.

Dipper noticed this.

"We have to save Pacifica!" he said.

Wendy nodded before noticing Sergei about to fall off the ship. "What about him?"

"He'll be fine. The water's shallow. There's literally no way to drown."

Right as he said that, Sergei fell face-first into the shallow water, and drowned.

Instead of feeling bad, Dipper was just annoyed.

"Seriously?" he asked.

Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy noticed a lamppost with a string of lights attached to it. The three climbed the pole, and used their clubs to zipline down the string.

Once they reached Pacifica, they landed. They worked to untie the restraints.

"It took you long enough," Pacifica said. "And watch the earrings. They're worth more than your house."

"You know, we could just leave you here," Wendy said.

"Wendy!" the twins yelled.

"Okay, okay. I was just joking."

The trio finished untying Pacifica.

They were about to run, but they were blocked by the Lilliputtians.

"You cannot escape!" said the pirate captain.

"You ready to putt?" Mabel asked Pacifica.

"Way ahead of you," Pacifica replied.

The girls grabbed their clubs and prepared to fight back.

Dipper noticed a golf cart and ran for it.

The girls fought the Lilliputtians side by side.

"You know, you two aren't that bad," Pacifica admitted. "A little rusty, but…"

"Shut up, Pacifica!" Wendy snapped.

Dipper managed to get the golf cart running. He pulled up to pick up the girls.

The four prepared to make their leave. Unfortunately, the Lilliputtians were going to shut them in.

A tiny pencil poked through the roof. Mabel climbed to the roof to see it was Franz.

"Not so fast," he warned. "Without me, your club is useless."

"Oh yeah?" Mabel asked. "What's ten minus six? Fore!"

Mabel hit Franz and sent him into the bonus hole.

Dipper launched the golf cart over the ramp right as the volcano erupted.

The four flew over the wall, and landed in the parking lot.

"And stay out, you dumb hugelings!" came Franz's voice.

Multiple golf balls flew over the wall, as if the Lilliputtians tried to pelt them.

"What did you say, you little assholes?" Pacifica asked. "I will sue you and I will own you!" Pacifica panted a bit before turning to the others. "You three! Just because you saved my life, don't think I…"

Before Pacifica could finish that sentence, Mabel offered Pacifica a sticker.

It had a cat on it, as well as the words, 'I A-PAW-LOGIZE'.

"I'm sorry, Pacifica," Mabel apologized. "I shouldn't have cheated. You totally won, fair and square."

Pacifica smiled a bit, before frowning and putting on the sticker. "You're just lucky it looks fantastic on me."

Knowing she also had a fault in this, Wendy approached Pacifica.

"I'm sorry too," she said. "I was the one that told Mabel she should cheat, all because I wanted you to lose. I should've known better."

Pacifica softened up a little.

"You know, fighting on the same side, it felt like old times," she admitted. "It kinda sucks that it ended the way it did."

"Yeah," said Wendy. "Do you remember when we used to run in the forest and we always got covered in dirt and leaves?"

Pacifica's smile faded as she remembered what happened after that. "Yeah, I do. It was… fun."

"I miss the people we were, then."

"Me too. You think we'll go back to hating each other after this?"

"Yeah."

Wendy and Pacifica turned around, and noticed Dipper and Mabel were still there.

Knowing she pretty much gave herself away, Wendy knew there was no point in hiding it anymore.

"There's something I need to tell you," she said. "The reason why I hate the Northwests so much is that… Pacifica and I used to be friends."

The twins turned towards Pacifica, who nodded in confirmation.

"I don't know how to put this," Dipper said, a bit hesitant. "But Mabel and I kinda knew for a while."

"What?" Wendy and Pacifica reacted. "How?"

The twins then explained when they were taken for Globnar, went back in time ten years, and ran into the younger Pacifica and Wendy. Needless to say, they were both heavily embarrassed.

"That was you?" Wendy asked. "I thought you looked familiar." The embarrassment got worse. "And I said you were cute."

Pacifica just stood there, unable to say a word.

That's when a car pulled up. The four turned to see Stan came to pick them up.

Wendy got in the front seat. Dipper and Mabel sat in the back.

"Hey, Pacifica, your parents aren't here," Mabel said. "You can always ride with us."

"Please," Pacifica replied. "As if I would…"

She was interrupted by the sound of thunder.

Before Pacifica knew it, she was in the back of a cheap car sitting in between Dipper and Mabel.

Dipper found a couple of tacos in a to-go box from the restaurant. He started eating one of the tacos.

"You're allowed to eat in the car?" Pacifica asked.

"Yeah," Dipper replied before offering a taco. "Want one?"

"I'm not allowed to take handouts."

"Handouts? I'm just sharing."

"Sharing?"

"Just take it."

Pacifica begrudgingly took the taco.

As she ate the taco, she couldn't help but think about Dipper. From the moment they met, he never backed down. He always stood up to her and called her out. You'd think someone as entitled as Pacifica would hate that about him, but for whatever reason, she didn't. If anything, she was actually… enamored.

Do I actually have a…she thought to herself.No, it can't be.

That's when the car stopped at the Northwest Mansion. Pacifica got out of the car.

"Thanks for the taco, Dipper," she said, patting the back of his hand.

Dipper blushed a little bit.

"And Mabel," Pacifica continued as she got out of the car. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I had fun."

"So, are you cool now?" Dipper asked Mabel.

"We're making progress," Mabel replied. "And besides, the important thing is that at the end of the day, she's just an ordinary kid like us."

The gates to the mansion opened to reveal it was like any mansion you'd see in a cartoon. There was a large fountain in front, there were some peacocks lying around, there was a banner that read 'CONGRATULATIONS PACIFICA', and some fireworks went off.

"I should've charged her for that taco," Dipper said.

The gang drove away from the mansion.